第七节 真正悔改须省察行为与意图
532# 真正的悔改，不仅在于省察自己生活中的行为，也在于省察自己意志中的意图。
真正的悔改，不仅在于省察自己生活中的行为，也在于省察自己意志中的意图；这是因为行为由理智和意志产生。人从思想说话，从意志行事；因此，言语就是正在说出的思想，行为就是正在实行的意志。既然言语和行为由此而来，那么毫无疑问，当身体犯罪时，真正犯罪的乃是这二者。
人也可以为自己身体所行的恶而悔改，却仍然思想恶、意愿恶；但这就像砍去一棵坏树的树干，却把它的根留在地里，同一棵坏树仍会从根中再长出来，并向四周蔓延。可是，若连根也拔出来，情形就不同了。人若同时省察自己意志中的意图，并借悔改除去诸恶，这事就在他里面成就了。
人省察自己的思想时，就是在省察自己意志中的意图，因为意图会在思想中显明出来。例如，当人思想、意愿并有意实行报复、奸淫、偷窃、作假见证，以及对这些事的贪欲；又如亵渎上帝、亵渎神圣的圣言和教会，等等。倘若他把注意力一直推进到这里，并查问自己：若没有法律和名誉的惧怕拦阻，自己是否会去做这些事；并且在省察之后思想：自己不愿做这些事，因为它们是罪——这样的人，就是在实行真正而内在的悔改。
更进一步说，当他正处在这些恶的快乐之中，并且同时有行这些恶的自由，却仍然抵抗并戒绝它们时，他的悔改就更深了。凡反复操练这事的人，当这些恶的快乐再回来时，便会觉得它们令人厌恶，最终把它们定罪，下到地狱中去。
这就是主这些话的意思：“得着生命的，将要失丧生命；为我失丧生命的，将要得着生命。”（太10:39）凡借这样的悔改除去自己意志之恶的人，就像在适当的时候，把魔鬼撒在田里的稗子拔出来的人；于是，主上帝拯救者所栽种的种子便得着自由的土地，发芽长成庄稼（太13:24-30）。
532# 真正的悔改就是省察，不仅省察人的生活行为，而且省察人意愿的意图，因为理解力和意愿产生行为，或是行为的原因。事实上，人出于其思维说话，出于其意愿行动；因此，言语是说话的思维，行为是行动的意愿。这是话语和行为的源头，所以毋庸置疑，当身体犯罪时，意愿和思维这两者都犯罪了。诚然，人可能会悔改身体所行的邪恶，却仍思考和意愿邪恶；但这就像砍掉坏树的树干，却把它的根留在地里；这根会再次长出同样的坏树，并开枝散叶。然而，当这根也被拔除时，情况就不同了；当人省察自己意愿的意图，通过悔改除去自己的邪恶时，这种情况就发生在他身上。当人省察自己的思维时，他就是省察自己意愿的意图，因为意图就表现在这些思维中；例如，当他的思维、意愿和意图倾向于报复、通奸、偷盗、假见证，因而倾向于欲望，也倾向于对神，圣言和教会的亵渎等等时。如果他继续把注意力转向这些邪恶，然后考虑一下，若对法律和名声丧失的惧怕不再形成障碍，他是否会实际犯下这些邪恶，如果经过这样的考虑，他决定不意愿它们，因为它们是罪，那么他就真正从内在悔改了；当这些邪恶让他感到快乐，他可以自由地犯下它们，但仍抵制和放弃它们时，尤其如此。反复如此行的人就会发现，当邪恶的快乐返回时，它们不再令人快乐，最终他判它们下地狱。这就是主的这些话的意思：
凡想得着灵魂的，将要丧失它；凡为我丧失灵魂的，将要得着它。（马太福音10:39）
通过这种悔改除去其意愿的邪恶的人，就像一个人适时拔除魔鬼撒在他田里的稗子，以便主神救主播下的种子找到一片干净的土壤，并长成庄稼（马太福音13:24-30）。
532. True Repentance Is Examining Not Only the Actions of Our Life but Also the Intentions of Our Will
The reason why true repentance is to examine not only the actions of our life but also the intentions of our will is that our intellect and our will produce our actions. We speak from our thought and we act from our will; therefore our speech is our thought speaking, and our action is our will acting. Since this is the origin of what we say and do, it is clear without a doubt that it is these two faculties that commit the sin when our body sins.
It is in fact possible for us to repent of evil things we have done through our bodies but still think about evil and will it. This is like cutting down the trunk of a bad type of tree but leaving its root still in the ground; the same bad tree grows up from the root again and also spreads itself around. There is a different outcome when the root is pulled up, though; and this is what happens within us when we explore the intentions of our will and lay our evils aside through repentance.
[2] We explore the intentions of our will by exploring our thoughts. Our intentions reveal themselves in our thoughts - for example, when we contemplate, will, and intend acts of revenge, adultery, theft, or false witness, or entertain desires for those things. This applies as well to acts of blasphemy against God, against the holy Word, and against the church, and so on.
If we keep our minds focused on these issues, and explore whether we would do such things if no fear of the law or concern for our reputation stood in the way, and if after this exploration we decide that we do not will those things, because they are sins, then we are practicing a repentance that is true and deep. This is even more the case when we are feeling delight in those evils and are free to do them, but at that moment we resist and abstain. If we practice this over and over, then when our evils come back we sense our delight in them as something unpleasant, and in time we condemn them to hell. This is the meaning of these words of the Lord: "Any who try to find their soul will lose it, and any who lose their soul for my sake, will find it" (Matthew 10:39).
People who remove evils from their will through this type of repentance are like those who in time pulled up the weeds that had been sown by the Devil in their field, allowing seeds planted by the Lord God the Savior to gain free ground and to sprout for the harvest (Matthew 13:25-30).
532. VII. True repentance means not only examining what one does in one's life, but also what one intends in one's will to do.
The reason why true repentance means not only examining what one does in one's life, but also what one intends in one's will to do, is that deeds are the product of the understanding and the will. Thought is what makes a person speak and the will is what makes him act, so speech is thought speaking and action is the will acting. Since this is the origin of all speech and action, it follows without a doubt that it is those two which sin when the body does. A person too can repent of the evils he has physically committed, but still think and will evil. This is like cutting down the trunk of a tree that is no good, but leaving its root in the ground; from this the same tree grows up again and spreads itself around. But it is different if the root too is pulled up; and this is what happens in a person when he examines at the same time the intentions present in his will, and rids himself of evils by repentance.
A person can examine what in his will he intends to do by examining his thoughts, for intentions show up in these. He can do so, for instance, if he thinks about, wills and intends revenge, adultery, theft, false witness and longings for these things, as well as blasphemy against God, the holy Word and the church, and so on. In these circumstances, if he concentrates his mind on this and investigates whether he would do these acts if fear of the law or of losing his reputation did not prevent him, if after investigation he thinks that he does not will these acts because they are sins, then he is truly and inwardly penitent. Even more does he do so, when he takes pleasure in those evils and at the same time is free to commit them, but still he desists and abstains. If he does this repeatedly, he finds the pleasures he gets from those evils become with repetition unpleasant to him, and he ends by consigning them to hell. This is what is meant by the Lord's words:
If anyone wants to find his soul, he will lose it, and if anyone loses his soul for my sake, he will find it, Matthew 10:39.
A person who rids himself of the evils in his will by this kind of repentance is like the man who at the right time uproots from his field the tares sown by the devil, so that the seeds planted by the Lord God the Saviour find the ground unencumbered and grow into a crop (Matthew 13:24-30).
532. VII. TRUE REPENTANCE IS EXAMINING, NOT ONLY THE ACTIONS OF ONE'S LIFE, BUT ALSO THE INTENTIONS OF ONE'S WILL.
True repentance is examining, not only the actions of one's life, but also the intentions of one's will, for the reason that the acts are done by the understanding and will; for man speaks from his thought, and acts from his will; therefore speech is the thought speaking, and action is the will acting. And this being the source of words and deeds, it follows indubitably that it is will and thought that sin when the body sins. Man can indeed repent of evils that he has done in body, and still think and will evil; but this is like cutting off the trunk of a bad tree, and leaving its root in the ground, from which the same bad tree grows up again, and spreads forth its branches. But it is different when the root also is torn up; and this is done in man when he examines the intentions of his will, and puts away his evils by repentance. Man examines the intentions of his will when he examines his thoughts, for in these the intentions make themselves manifest; as, for example, when his thought, will, and intention incline to revenge, adultery, theft, false witness, and to lust therefore, also to blasphemy against God and the holy Word and the church, and so on; if he continues to direct his attention to this, and to inquire whether he would actually commit these evils if fear of the law and for his reputation did not hinder; and if after this scrutiny he determines that he will not will to do these things, because they are sins, he truly and interiorly repents; and still more when these evils are delightful to him, and he is free to do them, and yet resists and abstains. He who practices this repeatedly, perceives the delights of evil, when they return, as undelightful, and finally he condemns them to hell. This is what is meant by these words of the Lord:
Whoever wisheth to find his soul shall lose it; and whoever would lose his soul for My sake shall find it (Matthew 10:39).
He that puts away the evils of his will, by such repentance, is like one who in due time plucks up the tares sown in his field by the devil, so that the seed implanted by the Lord God the Savior finds a clear soil and grows to a harvest (Matthew 13:24-30).
532. VII. TRUE REPENTANCE CONSISTS IN A MAN'S EXAMINING NOT ONLY THE ACTS OF HIS LIFE, BUT ALSO THE INTENTIONS OF HIS WILL.
True repentance consists in a man's examining not only the acts of his life, but also the intentions of his will because the understanding and the will are the cause of those acts. For a man speaks from thought and acts from will, so that speech is thought speaking and action is the will acting. It follows, therefore, that those two, thought and will, commit the sin when the body sins. It is possible, also, for a man to repent of evils committed by the body, and still to think and will evil; but this is like cutting down the trunk of a noxious tree, and leaving its root in the ground, from which the tree grows again and spreads in all directions. It is different, however, when the root is pulled up; and this is what happens in a man when he, having examined not only his acts but also the intentions of his will, removes his evils by repentance.
A man examines the intentions of his will whilst he examines his thoughts, for intentions manifest themselves in the thoughts; as for example, when he meditates, wills and intends revenge, adultery, theft, false witness, and their lusts; and also blasphemy against God, the Holy Word, and the Church, and so on. Should he still give those evils further attention, and then consider whether he would commit them if no obstacle stood in the way, such as fear of the law and loss of reputation; and should he, after this consideration, determine not to will them because they are sins, he performs the work of true and interior repentance. This is especially the case if he resists those evils and abstains from them when they appear delightful to him and he is at liberty to commit them. He who practices this repeatedly finds the delights of evils when they return no longer a pleasure, and finally relegates them to hell. This is what the Lord meant when He said:
"He that will find (A.V., findeth) his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it" Matthew 10:39.
He who removes the evils of his will by such repentance, is like a man who in good time pulls up from the field the tares sown by the devil, so that the seeds implanted by the Lord God the Savior remain undisturbed in the ground, and grow to a harvest, Matthew 13:24-30.
532. Quod vera Poenitentia sit explorare non modo Acta Apostolorum vitae suae, sed etiam intentiones voluntatis suae.
Quod vera Poenitentia sit explorare non modo acta suae vitae, sed etiam intentiones suae voluntatis, est quia Intellectus et Voluntas faciunt acta; loquitur enim homo ex cogitatione, et agit ex voluntate, quare loquela est cogitatio loquens, et actio est voluntas agens, et quia inde sunt loquelae et actiones, indubie sequitur, quod illa duo sint, quae peccant quando corpus; et quoque potest homo poenitentiam agere a malis quae corpore egerat, et usque cogitare et velle malum; sed hoc est sicut amputare truncum arboris malae, et relinquere radicem ejus in terra, ex qua excrescit eadem arbor mala, et se circum spargit: aliter vero cum etiam radix evellitur, et hoc fit in homine, quando simul intentiones voluntatis suae explorat, et mala per poenitentiam amovet.
[2] Homo explorat intentiones voluntatis suae, dum explorat cogitationes suas, nam intentiones se in illis manifestant; quemadmodum dum cogitat, vult et intendit vindictas, adulteria, furta, et testificationes falsas, et cupiditates ad illa, et quoque blasphemias contra Deum, sanctum Verbum et Ecclesiam, et sic porro; hic si illuc usque intendit animum, et scrutatur num facturus sit illa si non timor legis et famae obstaret, qui tunc post scrutinium cogitat, quod non velit illa, quia peccata sunt, ille veram et interiorem poenitentiam agit; et adhuc plus dum in jucundo illorum malorum est, et simul in libero faciendi illa, et tunc resistit et abstinet; qui hoc iteratis vicibus excercet, ille jucunda malorum, dum redeunt, ut injucunda percipit, et demum damnat illa ad infernum: hoc est, quod intelligitur per haec Domini verba, Quisquis vult invenire animam suam, perdet eam, et quisquis perdiderit animam suam propter Me, inveniet illam, Matthaeus 10:39. Ille qui mala voluntatis suae per hanc poenitentiam removet, similis est illi, qui zizania a Diabolo inseminata ex agro in tempore evellit, unde semina a Domino Deo Salvatore implantata nanciscuntur liberam humum, et germinant in messem, Matthaeus 13:24-30. 1
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: 25-31.