234、我在此论述婚姻冷淡的因素，同样要论述分离以及离婚的因素。这是因为它们都连贯在一起；事实上，分离唯独出自婚后逐渐产生的各种冷淡，或婚后所发现的造成冷淡的各种因素。而离婚则是奸淫的后果，因为奸淫与婚姻完全对立；对立制造冷淡，即便不是夫妻双方都冷淡，至少有一方是冷淡的。这就是为何我将冷淡、分离和离婚的因素放在一章里的原因。按顺序阐述能更清楚地看出这些因素如何连贯在一起，顺序如下：
⑴既有属灵之热，也有属灵之冷；属灵之热是爱，属灵之冷是爱的缺失。
⑵在婚姻中，属灵之冷就是灵魂的分裂和心智的分离；冷漠、不和、蔑视、反感、憎恶由此而来；在很多情况下，这些最终导致从床榻、卧室和家里分离。
⑶逐渐冷淡的因素有很多，其中有些是内在的，有些是外在的，有些则是偶然的。
⑷冷淡的内在因素源于宗教信仰。
⑸在这些因素中，第一个就是夫妻双方都排斥宗教信仰。
⑹第二个是一方拥有宗教信仰，而另一方没有。
⑺第三个是夫妻双方拥有不同的宗教信仰。
⑻第四个是执着于虚假的宗教信仰。
⑼这些是内在冷淡的因素，但在很多情况下并未伴随外在冷淡。
⑽冷淡的外在因素也有很多，其中第一个是性格和行为上的不同之处。
⑾第二个是认为婚姻之爱与淫乱之爱没什么不同，只不过前者是合法的，后者是非法的。
⑿第三个是夫妻双方争夺主导地位。
⒀第四个是缺乏学习或工作的兴趣，这会造成情欲放荡。
⒁第五个是外在地位和条件的不平等。
⒂还有几个分居的因素。
⒃其中第一个是智力缺陷。
⒄第二个是身体缺陷。
⒅第三个是婚前性无能。
⒆奸淫是离婚的因素。
⒇冷淡的偶然因素也有很多，其中第一个是源于不断被允许的平淡。
(21)第二个是迫于婚约和法律，与对方共同生活似乎不自由的感觉。
(22)第三个是妻子宣告并谈论自己的爱情。
(23)第四个是男人日夜思想他的妻子是有欲求的；相反，妻子却以为她的丈夫不愿意。
(24)冷淡因在心智中发展，故也在身体中发展；随着冷淡的日益加剧，身体的外在部分也就关闭了。
现逐一解读上述要点。
234、以上几个状态是相互相连的。分居是由冷却状态逐渐发展而来的。离婚是受婚姻中的不忠的驱动而产生的。因为婚姻中的不忠与婚姻是完全相反的，它会造成婚姻的冷却。
下面按以下顺序分别阐述：
（1）人会经历精神上的温暖和精神上的冷漠。精神上的温暖就是爱，精神上的冷漠就是爱的缺乏及爱的丧失。
（2）精神上的冷漠就是灵魂和思想上的相互分离。它是由婚姻中的彼此的相互冷淡，不一致，厌恶等情绪产生的，会最后导致分居。
（3）造成冷漠状态的原因很多，有些是内在的，有些是外在的，有些是偶然的。
（4）内在的原因来自于宗教信仰。
（5）在内在原因中，首先是双方对宗教的拒绝。
（6）第二点原因是双方中有一方有宗教信仰，而另一方没有。
（7）第三点原因是双方各自有不同的宗教信仰。
（8）第四点原因是根深蒂固的错误宗教信仰。
（9）这些原因造成内在的冷漠，但在许多情况下，不会同时带来外在的冷漠。
（10）造成外在冷漠的原因有很多，首先是气质和行为上的差别。
（11）第二点是认为婚姻之爱与婚外情没什么区别，只不过后者被法律禁止，而前者是被允许的。
（12）第三是双方对主导地位的争夺。
（13）第四是缺乏共同的追求，而造成混乱。
（14）第五是双方外在条件的不平等。
（15）还有许多原因会造成分居。
（16）这其中第一点思想上的不健全。
（17）第二是身体上的不健体。
（18）第三是婚前存在的性无能。
（19）婚外情会造成离婚。
（20）偶然性的造成分居的原因有很多，其中首先是婚姻关系是平淡无味的。
（21）第二点是与对方生活在一起是被强迫而非自愿的。
（22）第三点是妻子对自己的爱的大肆宣扬。
（23）第四点是男人总认为他的妻子想要与自己亲近，而相反妻子却认为丈夫不想与自己亲近。
（24）当冷漠在思想中发展时，它同时也在身体中发展。随着冷漠的增长，躯体在外在上就关闭了。
下面做进一步解释：
234. CHAPTER XI. THE REASONS FOR COLDNESS, SEPARATION AND DIVORCE IN MARRIAGE
In discussing here the reasons for coldness in marriage, I shall also deal with the reasons for separation and also for divorce. This is because these all hang together. For there is no reason for separation other than the various forms of coldness which develop by stages after marriage, or reasons discovered after marriage, which also result in coldness. Divorce, however, is the result of adultery, because this is the exact opposite of marriage, and what is opposite creates coldness, if not for both, at least for one partner. This is why the reasons for coldness, separation and divorce are brought together in a single chapter. But it will be seen more clearly how these hang together, if set out in order, as follows:
(i) There is spiritual heat and spiritual coldness; spiritual heat is love, and spiritual coldness is being deprived of love.
(ii) Spiritual coldness in marriage is disunion of souls and a parting of minds leading to indifference, discord, contempt, hatred and turning away. In many cases these lead eventually to separation from bed, bedroom and home.
(iii) There are many reasons for the successive stages of coldness, some inward, some outward and some accidental.
(iv) The inward reasons for coldness are religious ones.
(v) The first of these reasons is the rejection of religion by both parties.
(vi) The second is the acceptance of religion by one and not the other.
(vii) The third is each party having a different religious belief.
(viii) The fourth is adherence to false religious beliefs.
(ix) These are in many cases the reasons for inward coldness, but not accompanied by outward coldness.
(x) There are also many outward reasons for coldness, the first being unlikeness in character and behaviour.
(xi) The second is the belief that conjugial love is no different from scortatory love, except that one is legally permitted and the other is illicit.
(xii) The third is competition between the couple who is to be dominant.
(xiii) The fourth is the lack of interest in any study or business, which results in wandering desire.
(xiv) The fifth is inequality of outward rank and condition.
(xv) There are also several reasons for separation.
(xvi) The first of them is mental deficiency.
(xvii) The second is physical deficiency.
(xviii) The third is impotence before marriage.
(xix) Adultery is the reason for divorce.
(xx) There are also many accidental reasons, the first of which is familiarity due to continual permission.
(xxi) The second is if living with one's partner seems forced by compact and law, and not free.
(xxii) The third is the wife's giving notice of her love and talking about it.
(xxiii) The fourth is when the husband thinks day and night about his wife being willing, and conversely when the wife thinks about her husband being unwilling.
(xxiv) As there is coldness in the mind, so there is also in the body; and as that coldness increases, the outward parts of the body too are shut down.
There now follows an explanation of these points.
234. REASONS IN MARRIAGE FOR COLD STATES, SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
In considering in this chapter reasons for cold states in marriage, we take up also at the same time grounds for separation and divorce. We do this because they are interconnected; for separations come about only as a result of cold states progressively developed after marriage, or as a result of factors discovered after marriage which in turn lead to coldness. Divorce, moreover, is impelled by acts of adultery, because these are completely opposed to marriage, and being opposed they induce coldness, if not in both partners, still in the one.
That is why we put reasons for cold states, separation and divorce together into the same chapter. The interconnection between the reasons, however, is more clearly perceived from seeing them in sequence. A sequential arrangement of them is as follows:
1. People experience spiritual warmth and spiritual coldness; and spiritual warmth is love, while spiritual coldness is its absence and loss.
2. Spiritual coldness in marriage is a disunion of souls and disjunction of minds, resulting in indifference, discord, contempt, loathing, and aversion, and leading finally in many cases to separation from the bed, bedroom and house.
3. Reasons for cold states in their gradual progressions are many, some of them internal, some external, and some incidental.
4. Internal reasons for cold states stem from religion.
5. Of these reasons, the first is rejection of religion by both partners.
6. A second is one partner's having religion and not the other.
7. A third is one partner's having one religion and the other partner another.
8. A fourth is ingrained falsity of religion.
9. These are causes of an inward coldness, but in many cases not at the same time of an outward one.
10. External reasons for coldness are also many; and of these, the first is a dissimilarity of dispositions and manners.
11. A second is believing that conjugial love is no different from licentious love, only that the latter is forbidden by law, while the former is allowed.
12. A third is competition between the partners for superiority.
13. A fourth is an absence of focus on any pursuit or business, resulting in promiscuous lust.
14. A fifth is inequality of station and condition in the partners' outward circumstances.
15. There are also several reasons for separation.
16. Of these, the first is an impairment of the mind.
17. A second is an impairment of the body.
18. A third is impotence prior to marriage.
19. Adultery is ground for divorce.
20. Incidental reasons for coldness are also many; and of these, the first is ordinariness from being continually allowed.
21. A second is the sense that living with one's partner is compelled by covenant and law and not free.
22. A third is declaration by the wife of her love and discourse by her about it.
23. A fourth is the man's thinking of his wife day and night that she wants to, and conversely the wife's thinking of her husband that he does not want to.
24. As coldness develops in the mind, so it also develops in the body; and in the measure that this coldness grows, the outward aspects of the body close up as well.
Explanation of these statements now follows.
234. Chapter 11. The Causes of Coldness, Separations, and Divorces in Marriages
The causes of separations and divorces relate closely to the causes of coldness in marriages, so these are all dealt with together here. Feelings of coldness arise gradually after marriage, and are the cause of separation, as are matters that come to light after marriage and induce the coldness. But divorces result from adulteries, because adulteries are totally opposite to marriage, and opposites bring coldness into one partner or both. This is why the causes of coldness, separations, and divorces are discussed together in one chapter.
But the close connection of the causes is easier to see when you look at the whole series. Here is their sequence:
1. There is spiritual heat, and there is spiritual cold. Spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold is love removed.
2. In marriages, spiritual coldness is souls not together and minds not connected. This makes for indifference, discord, contempt, loathing, and aversion. In the end, these things lead many to separate from bed, bedroom, and home.
3. The causes of coldness taken one by one are many - some inner and some outer. Some are "contingent" causes.
4. The inner causes of coldness depend on religion.
5. One inner cause is the rejection of religion by both partners.
6. Another cause is that one partner has religion and the other does not.
7. A third is that they have two different religions.
8. A fourth is saturation with religious falsity.
9. These are causes of inner coldness, but, in many people, not causes of outward coldness as well.
10. There are also many outward causes of coldness, and one of them is a difference in dispositions and manners.
11. Another is thinking that the love in marriage is the same as the love in fornication, except that the one is legally permissible, and the other is not permissible.
12. A third is contention for dominance between the partners.
13. A fourth is failure to settle on any goal or career, which promotes roving lust.
14. A fifth is an external difference in class and condition.
15. There are also several causes of separation.
16. One is an unhealthy mind.
17. Another is an unhealthy body.
18. A third is impotence before marriage.
19. Adultery is cause for divorce.
(20). There are also many "contingent" causes of coldness, and one is sex being commonplace because it is always allowed.
(21). Another is that living with a married partner under contract and the law seems coerced and not free.
(22). A third is the wife being over assertive and lecturing about love.
(23). A fourth is the man's thinking day and night that his wife is willing, while the wife, on her part, thinks that the man is not.
(24). The body grows just as cold as the mind, and as the mental coldness increases it shuts the body off outwardly.
Now for the explanation.
234. THE CAUSES OF COLDS, SEPARATIONS AND DIVORCES IN MARRIAGES
Here, together with the causes of colds in marriages, the causes of separations and also of divorces are likewise treated of. The reason is because they cohere, the one with the other, for separations come solely from cold gradually engendered after the marriage, or from causes giving rise to cold, which come to view after the marriage; while divorces are from adulteries inasmuch as these are directly opposed to marriages, and opposites induce cold, if not in both partners, yet in one. This is the reason why the causes of colds, separations, and divorces are brought together in a single chapter. The close connection of these causes will become more clearly evident from seeing them in a series. This series is as follows:
I. That there is spiritual heat and spiritual cold; and that spiritual heat is love and spiritual cold the deprivation thereof.
II. That in marriages, spiritual cold is disunion of souls and disjunction of minds, whence comes indifference, discord, contempt, loathing, aversion; from which, with many, comes finally separation from bed, chamber, and house.
III. That the causes of cold in their successions are many, some internal, some external, and some accidental.
IV. That the internal causes of cold are from religion.
V. That of these causes, the First is rejection of religion by both partners.
VI. The Second, that the one has religion and the other has not.
VII. The Third, that the one has one religion and the other another.
VIII. The Fourth, is imbued falsity of religion.
IX. That these are causes of internal cold, but with many, not at the same time of external cold.
X. That the external causes of cold are also many, and of these the First is dissimilitude in animus and manners.
XI. The Second, the believing that conjugial love is one with scortatory love except that by law, the latter is illicit and the former is not.
XII. The Third, rivalry for supremacy between the partners.
XIII. The Fourth, lack of determination to any study or business, whence comes wandering lust.
XIV. The Fifth, inequality of station and condition in externals.
XV. That there are also several causes of separation.
XVI. That of these the First is a blemish of the mind.
XVII. That the Second is a blemish of the body.
XVIII. The Third is impotence before marriage.
XIX. That Adultery is the cause of divorce.
XX. That there are also many accidental causes; and of these the First is commonness from being continually allowed.
XXI. The Second, that because of the covenant and the law, living with the married partner seems forced and not free.
XXII. The Third, affirmation by the wife and talk by her about love.
XXIII. The Fourth, the man's thought of the wife day and night, that she is desirous; and on the other hand, the wife's thought of the man, that he is not willing.
XXIV. That when cold is in the mind, it is also in the body; and according to the increase of the former cold, the externals of the body are closed.
The explication of the above now follows.
234. X. CAUSES OF COLD, SEPARATION AND DIVORCE IN MARRIAGE
While we consider causes of cold in marriage we shall take the occasion to consider causes of separation and divorce as well, for all these are closely connected. Separations come wholly from cold gradually engendered after marriage or from causes disclosed after marriage which give rise to cold. Divorces result from adulteries; adulteries are wholly opposite to marriages, and this opposite again induces cold, if not in both partners, at least in one. Hence we assemble the causes of cold, separation and divorce in one chapter. The close connection among them will be better perceived if we view things in a series, as follows:
I. There is spiritual warmth, and spiritual cold, spiritual warmth being love, and spiritual cold the absence of love.
II. Spiritual cold in marriage is disunion of souls and disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, disgust, and aversion, which lead at length with many to separation from bed, chamber and house.
III. Causes of cold in order one after another are many, some internal, some external, and some accessory.
IV. Internal causes of cold concern religion.
V. The first of these causes is the rejection of religion by both partners.
VI. The second, that one partner has religion, and the other has not.
VII. The third, that one is of one religion, the other of another.
VIII. The fourth, an imbued falsity of religion.
Ix. These are causes of internal cold, yet not at the same time, with many, of external.
X. External causes of cold are also many; and the first of them is unlikeness of minds and ways.
XI. The second is that marital love is deemed to be one with scortatory love, only that the latter is by law illicit, and the former licit.
XII. The third is striving for the upper hand between partners.
XIII. The fourth, no devotion to any concern or business, whence a wandering desire.
XIV. The fifth, inequality of state and condition in externals.
XV. The causes of separation are also several.
XVI. The first of them is vitiation of mind.
XVII. The second is vitiation of body.
XVIII. The third is impotence before marriage.
XIX. Adultery is the cause of divorce.
XX. Accessory causes are also many; and the first of them is commonness from constant access.
XXI. The second, that living together with the partner under covenant and law seems forced and not free.
Xxii. The third, protestation and talk of love by the wife.
Xxiii. The fourth, thought on the man's part day and night about his wife, that she is willing; and in turn thought on the wife's part about the man that he is not willing.
Xxiv. Present in the mind, cold is also present in the body; furthermore, as it increases, the externals of the body are closed up.
Explanation of these propositions follows.
234. ON THE CAUSES OF COLDS, SEPARATIONS, AND DIVORCES IN MARRIAGES.
Here, where the causes of colds in marriages are treated of, the causes likewise of separations and also of divorces are at the same time considered; for the reason that they closely cohere. For separations are from no other cause than from colds successively arising after marriage; or from causes brought to light after marriage by which cold is also induced. But divorces are from adulteries, because these are altogether opposite to marriages, and opposites induce cold, if not in both yet in one. This is the reason why the causes of colds, separations, and divorces are brought together into one chapter. But the close connection of the causes is more clearly seen by viewing these things in series. The sequence of them is this:
(1) That there is spiritual heat, and that there is spiritual cold; and spiritual heat is love, and spiritual cold is deprivation of love.
(2) That spiritual cold in marriages is disunion of souls and disjunction of minds, whence come indifference, discord, contempt, loathing, and aversion; which lead at length with many to separation from bed, chamber, and house.
(3) That the causes of colds in their succession are numerous, some internal, and some external, and some adventitious.
(4) That the internal causes of cold are from religion.
(5) That of these causes the first is, the rejection of religion by both.
(6) The second is, that one has religion and the other has not.
(7) The third is, that one is of one religion and the other of another.
(8) The fourth is, imbued falsity of religion.
(9) That these are causes of internal cold, but with many not at the same time of external cold.
(10) That the external causes of cold are also numerous; and that of these the first is dissimilitude of dispositions and manners.
(11) The second is that conjugial love is believed to be one with scortatory love, except that by law this is illicit and that is licit.
(12) The third is, a striving for super-eminence between partners.
(13) The fourth is, no determination to any pursuit or business, whence comes wandering lust.
(14) The fifth is, inequality of station and, condition in matters external.
(15) That the causes of separation are also several.
(16) That of these the first is a vitiated condition of mind.
(17) That the second is a vitiated condition of the body.
(18) The third is impotence before marriage.
(19) That adultery is the cause of divorce.
(20) That adventitious causes are also many; and that of these the first is, the being common from being continually permitted.
(21) The second is, that cohabitation with the married partner from covenant and law seems constrained, and not free.
(22) The third is, protestation by the wife and talk by her about love.
(23) The fourth is, the thought of the man by day and by night about the wife that she is willing, and on the other hand the thought of the wife about the man that he is not willing,
(24) That as is the cold in the mind, so is it also in the, body; and that according to the increase of that cold the externals of the body are also closed.
The explication of these subjects now follows.
234. DE CAUSIS FRIGORUM, SEPARATIONUM, ET DIVORTIORUM IN CONJUGIIS
Hic ubi de Causis Frigorum in Conjugiis, etiam de Causis Separationum, et quoque Divortiorum, simul agitur; ratio est, quia cohaerent; Separationes enim non aliunde sunt, quam ex Frigoribus successive post Conjugium innatis, vel ex causis post Conjugium detectis, ex quibus etiam frigus: Divortia autem sunt ex Adulteriis, quia haec sunt prorsus opposita Conjugiis, ac opposita inducunt frigus, si non utrique, usque uni. Haec ratio est, quod Causae frigorum, separationum, et divortiorum, in unum Caput committantur. Sed cohaerentia causarum ex visis illis in serie clarius perspicitur: Series illarum est haec; I. Quod sit Calor spiritualis, et quod sit Frigus spirituale; et quod Calor spiritualis sit amor, et Frigus spirituale privatio ejus.
II. Quod Frigus spirituale in Conjugiis, sit disunio animarum, et disjunctio mentium, unde Indifferentia, Discordia, Contemtus, Fastidium, Aversatio; ex quibus tandem apud plures Separatio quoad torum, cubiculum, et domum.
III. Quod Causae frigorum in suis successionibus sint plures, quaedam Internae, quaedam Externae, et quaedam Accidentales.
IV. Quod Causae frigorum Internae sint ex Religione.
V. Quod illarum causarum Prima sit rejectio Religionis ab utroque.
VI. Secunda, quod uni sit Religio, et non alteri.
VII. Tertia, quod alia sit Religio uni et alia alteri.
VIII. Quarta, falsitas Religionis imbuta.
IX. Quod hae Causae sint frigoris interni, non autem simul externi, apud plures.
X. Quod Causae frigoris Externae etiam sint plures: et quod Prima illarum sit dissimilitudo animorum et morum.
XI. Secunda, quod Amor conjugialis credatur unus cum amore scortatorio, 1modo quod hic ex lege sit illicitus, ille autem licitus.
XII. Tertia, est aemulatio supereminentiae inter conjuges.
XIII. Quarta, nulla determinatio ad aliquod studium aut negotium, ex qua cupiditas vaga.
XIV. Quinta, Inaequalitas status et conditionis in externis.
XV. Quod Causae separationis sint etiam aliquae.
XVI. Prima illarum est Vitium mentis.
XVII. Secunda est Vitium corporis.
XVIII. Tertia, est Impotentia ante conjugium.
XIX. Quod Adulterium sit causa Divortii.
XX. Quod Causae accidentales [frigoris] 2etiam sint plures; et quod harum Prima sit commune ex jugi licito.
XXI. Secunda, quod Cohabitatio cum conjuge ex foedere et lege videatur coacta, et non libera.
XXII. Tertia, affirmatio ab uxore, et sermocinatio de amore ab illa.
XXIII. Quarta, cogitatio viri interdiu et noctu de uxore, quod velit; et vicissim cogitatio uxoris de viro quod non velit.
XXIV. Quod sicut frigus est in mente, etiam sit in corpore; et quod secundum frigoris illius incrementa, claudantur etiam externa corporis. Sequitur nunc horum Explicatio.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: scortario,
2. Confer 256 infra.