226、⒄真正的婚姻之爱有可能存在于夫妻一方里面，同时却未存在于另一方里面。因为有可能一方发自内心渴望贞洁的婚姻，而对方却不知贞洁为何物。也有可能一方爱教会的事物，而对方却只爱世界的事物。还有可能一方的心智在天堂，而对方的心智却在地狱。结果，一方可能享有婚姻之爱，而对方则不然。他们的心智因朝相反的方向转动，故内在会陷入冲突；即便这种冲突没有表现于外，缺乏婚姻之爱的这一方仍会将自己那有婚约的配偶视为令人厌烦的老女人。其它情形也是如此。
226、（17）真正的婚姻之爱可能存在于夫妻中的一方中，却不一定也同时存在于另一方中。
婚姻之爱可能只存在于夫妻双方的一方中，而不存在于另一方中。因为一方可能虔诚地发誓要有一个贞洁的婚姻，而另一方则会对贞洁全然不顾。一方可能会热衷教会所教的事物，而另一方则会热衷于尘世上的事物，一方会一心渴望天堂，而另一方则处于地狱状态。
结果是，婚姻之爱可能会只存在于一方中而不存在于另一方中。因为他们的思想是相反的，相互冲突。这种情况下，没有婚姻之爱的一方会认为另一方是无法忍受的异类。
226. (xvii) Truly conjugial love can exist with one of a married couple and not at the same time with the other.
One person can swear from the bottom of his heart to keep his marriage chaste, while the other does not know what chastity means. One can love what is to do with the church, while the other loves only worldly things. One can have his or her mind in heaven, while the other has his or hers in hell. So one can enjoy conjugial love, but not the other. Their minds, facing as they do in opposite directions, are inwardly in conflict; and if this does not show outwardly, still the one who lacks conjugial love looks upon his partner in the marriage contract as a tiresome old woman, and so forth.
226. 17. Conjugial love can be present in one of the partners and not at the same time in the other. Conjugial love can exist in one and not in the other, for one may fervently vow for himself a chaste marriage, while the other does not know what chastity is. One may love matters that have to do with the church, while the other loves only matters that have to do with the world. One may be with his mind in a state of heaven, while the other is with his mind in a state of hell.
As a result, conjugial love may exist on the part of one and not on the part of the other. Because their minds are turned in opposite directions, they inwardly collide; and if this is not the case outwardly, still the one who is not in a state of conjugial love regards his companion by covenant as an insufferable old nuisance, and other like things.
226. 17. Real married love can be present in one spouse when it is not present in the other. This is because one might be heartily devoted to chaste marriage, while the other does not know what "chaste" means. One can love things having to do with the church while the other loves only things that have to do with the world. One can be mentally in heaven, the other in hell. The love of marriage can therefore be in one and not the other. Their minds clash inwardly, because they are going in opposite directions. And even if it does not show, still the one who does not have a love of marriage looks on his partner by covenant as a loathsome hag.
And so on.
226. XVII. THAT CONJUGIAL LOVE MAY EXIST WITH ONE OF THE PARTNERS AND NOT AT THE SAME TIME WITH THE OTHER; for the one may from the heart wish for chaste marriage, and the other not know what chastity is. The one may love the things of the Church, and the other, things of the world alone. The one, as to his mind, may be in heaven, the other as to his, in hell. Thus conjugial love may be with the one and not with the other. Their minds, being of an opposite turn, are inwardly in collision, and if not outwardly, yet he who is not in conjugial love looks upon his consort by covenant as a tiresome old woman. And so in other cases.
226. (xvii) Marital love may exist with one partner and not with the other. One of them may long from the heart for a chaste marriage, and the other not know what is chaste. One of them may love the things of the Church, while the other loves only what is of the world. One as to his mind may be in heaven, but the other as to his in hell. Hence there may be marital love with the one and not with the other. Their minds, turned in opposite directions, are inwardly in collision; and though he may not do so publicly, still the partner not in marital love regards the other because of the bond as an increasing bore; and so on.
226. (17) That there may be conjugial love with one of the married partners, and not at the same time with the other. For one may from the heart devote himself or herself to chaste marriage, and the other not know what chastity is; one may love the things of the church, and the other only those that are of the world; one as to the mind may be in heaven, the other in hell; hence conjugial love may be with one and not with the other. Their minds being turned in contrary directions are inwardly in collision with each other; and if not outwardly, yet he who is not in conjugial love looks upon his partner married by covenant as a fastidious old woman. And so in turn.
226. XVII: Quod Amor conjugialis dari possit apud unum ex conjugibus, et non simul apud alterum. Unus enim potest ex corde vovere sibi conjugium castum, alter autem non scit quid castum; unus potest amare illa quae Ecclesiae sunt, alter autem illa quae solius mundi; unus potest quoad mentem esse in Coelo, alter quoad suam in inferno; inde apud unum potest esse amor conjugialis et non apud alterum: horum mentes, quia in contrario versu sunt, intrinsecus inter se collidunt; et si non extrinsecus, usque ille, qui non in amore conjugiali est, spectat consortem ex foedere sicut fastidiosam anum; et sic porro.