250、⒁第五个是外在地位和条件的不平等。地位和条件存在许多不平等，在夫妻共同生活期间，它们会将婚礼前开启的婚姻之爱拆碎。不过，这些不平等可能涉及年龄、地位或财富。年龄的不平等会造成婚姻的冷淡，如少年人和老妇人、豆冠少女和老朽男人之间的婚姻，这一点无需证明。地位的不平等会造成婚姻的冷淡，如王子与女佣、贵妇与男仆之间的婚姻，这一点也无需证明。显然，财富上的不平等也一样，除非夫妻走到一起是因着相似的性格和行为，双方都能适应对方的倾向和天生欲望。然而，在这些情况下，缘于对方优越地位和条件的顺从，只会以主仆的方式将他们结合起来；而这样的结合是一种冷淡的结合。因为就他们而言，这不是灵和心的婚姻，仅仅是口头和名义上的婚姻，以致劣势的一方会炫耀，而优势的一方则蒙羞。天上不存在年龄、地位或财富方面的不平等。年龄方面，那里的所有人都处在风华正茂之年，并保持其中，直到永远。地位方面，那里的所有人都从履行服务的角度来看待其他人；越显赫的人越将地位较低的人看作弟兄；他们不会把地位置于服务之上，而是把服务置于地位之上。此外，当少女结婚时，她们不知道自己出自哪个家庭。因为在天上，没有人知道谁是他世上的父亲，只知道主是所有人的父亲。财富也差不多是这样；在天上，财富意味着在智慧上的天赋；他们照自己的天赋被赐予足够的资源。至于如何安排这婚姻，可参看229节。
250、（14）第五是双方外在条件的不平等。
在人的一生中会有很多情况使最初的婚姻之爱产生变化。归纳起来可以分为年龄上的不同，社会地位的不同，财富的不同。
关于年龄不必多述。比如一个年青小伙与一个老妇人的婚姻，或一个妙龄女子与一个糟老头间的婚姻不可免会产生冷漠状态。
关于社会地位，不难看出社会上层的人与低层人的婚姻易产生冷漠状态。
关于财富也很明显，除非双方在气质行为上彼此相互适应。
然而这些情形不会使夫妻双方相结合，这样的结合是冷却的。不会是精神和心灵上的，而只是名义上的。因为一方会为自己吹嘘，而另一方会为自己感到羞耻。
在天国中却是不同的，人们与配偶间不会有年龄、地位、财富上的区别。在年龄方面，所有人都处于花季青春，并永远保持这样。关于地位，人们彼此只会看到对方所做的有益工作，彼此是同志关系。他们不会看重地位，而只看重工作。当女孩结婚时，没人知道他们是谁的后代，谁是他们的父亲，因为在天中，主是一切人的父。
在财富方面也是如此，在那里，人们会被根据其才干而赋予足够的财富。
250. (xiv) The fifth of the outward reasons is inequality of outward rank and condition.
There are many inequalities of rank and condition, which, when the couple live together, tear apart the conjugial love they entered upon before their wedding. But the inequalities may be in respect of age, rank or wealth. It does not need to be proved that inequality of age can cause coldness in marriage, as between a boy and an old woman, or between a teenage girl and a broken down old man. Nor is any proof needed to show that inequality of rank can do the same, as in marriages between a prince and a serving girl or a matron of noble family and a manservant. It is obvious the same is true of differences in wealth, unless the couple are brought together by likeness of character and behaviour, and the attention one pays to the other's inclinations and inborn desires. But in both these cases the deference due to the other's superior rank and condition prevents any link but a servile one. But this is a cold kind of linking. For in these cases there is no true principle of marriage of spirit and heart, but only of the lips and name, so that the inferior boasts of it and the superior blushes for shame.
In the heavens there can be no inequality in age, rank or wealth. As for age, all there are in the flower of youth, and remain in it for ever. As for rank, everyone there looks upon others from the point of view of the services they perform; the more distinguished look on those of lower rank as brothers, and do not treat rank as more important than service, but service as more important than rank. Moreover, when young women are married, they do not know from what family they came. For no one in heaven knows who was his father on earth, but the Lord is the Father of all. Much the same is true of wealth, which in heaven means a talent for wisdom. They are given resources enough to match their talents. On how marriages are arranged, 229 above.
250. 14. Of these external reasons, a fifth is inequality of station and condition in the partners' outward circumstances. Many inequalities in station and condition occur which during a couple's life together sunder the initial conjugial love they felt before their wedding. However, these can all be assigned to inequalities in their ages, in their positions in society, and in their possessions of wealth.
With respect to age, it requires no argument to show that age differences induce coldness in marriages, as in the marriage of a boy with an old woman, or of an adolescent girl with a decrepit old man.
With respect to position in society, it is also acknowledged without need for confirmation that class differences likewise induce coldness in marriages, as in the marriage of an upper-class man with a maidservant, or of a prominent lady with a manservant.
With respect to possessions of wealth, it is apparent that differences in these induce coldness as well - unless the partners are kept together by a similarity in dispositions and manners and by an adaptation of each to the inclinations and native desires of the other.
In any event, however, in none of these circumstances does meek submission in deference to the superior station or condition of the other serve to unite the partners, except in the manner of a servant with its master. Yet a union like that is a cold one; for the conjugial bond in such cases is not a matter of the spirit and heart, but only of the mouth and name, of which the inferior boasts and which causes the superior to blush with shame.
In contrast, in heaven one does not find a difference in partners' ages, positions in society, or possessions of wealth. With respect to age, all there are in the flower of their youth, and they remain in it to eternity. With respect to position in society, all there regard others in accordance with the useful services they render, with the more eminent in position viewing those lower as comrades. Nor do they put status before the value of service, but the value of service before status. Besides, when girls there get married, they do not know from what family they have descended; for no one in heaven knows who his father was on earth, but the Lord is the father of all.
It is similar with respect to possessions of wealth. Riches there are their gifts for becoming wise. In accordance with these gifts they are given a sufficiency of wealth. (For the way marriages have their start in heaven, see no. 229 above.)
250. 14. A fifth outward cause of coldness is an external difference in class and condition. There are many inequalities of class and condition that, as the people live together, erode the married love that started before the wedding. But they can all be categorized as inequalities of age, class, and wealth. No need to prove that unequal ages bring coldness into marriages - like the marriage of a boy with an old woman, or an adolescent girl with a worn - out old man. The same goes for class inequalities, as in the marriage of a prince and a servant, or a highborn lady and a servant. It is clearly the same with wealth, unless the partners have similar dispositions and manners to bring them together and one partner attends to the other's inclinations and natural desires. But in all these cases, if one complies because the other is of a better class or richer, it only joins them by servitude, which is a cold way to be joined. Their marriage is not of the spirit and heart, but only of the mouth and in name. The lower - class one boasts of it, and the higher - class one blushes with shame.
In the heavens, however, there is no inequality of age, rank, or wealth. As to age, all the people there are in the bloom of youth and stay that way forever. As to class, they all regard others according to what useful functions they perform. The more outstanding look on the less eminent people as brothers. They do not think that rank matters more than important duties, but the other way around. And when virgins are given in marriage, they do not know their family tree, because no one there knows who his father was on earth. The Lord is the Father of them all.
It is the same with wealth, there. Wealth there is talents for wisdom, and they have all the wealth they need, in proportion to these.
(No. 229, above, is about how marriages are entered into in heaven.)
250. XIV. THAT OF THE EXTERNAL CAUSES OF COLD, THE FIFTH IS INEQUALITY OF STATION AND CONDITION IN EXTERNALS. There are many inequalities of station and condition which, during the time of living together, break up the conjugial love initiated before the nuptials. All, however, can be referred to inequalities in respect to age, to rank, and to wealth. That unequal ages induce cold in marriages, as in the marriage of a boy with an old woman, or of an adolescent maid with a decrepit old man, needs no confirmation. That in marriages it is the same in the case of inequality of rank, as in the marriage of a prince with a maid-servant, or of an illustrious matron with a man-servant, is also acknowledged without confirmation. That it is equally the case with respect to wealth is clear, unless, indeed, a similitude in animus and manners and the application of the one partner to the inclinations and native desires of the other consociates them. In these cases, however, compliance by the one on account of the superior station and condition of the other conjoins them only in a servile way, and such conjunction is a cold conjunction; for with them it is a marriage, 1not of the spirit and heart, but only of the mouth and the name--a marriage of which the inferior boasts and at which the superior blushes with shame. In the heavens there is no inequality of age or of rank or wealth. As to age, all there are in the bloom of youth and remain therein to eternity. As to rank, all there regard others according to the uses which they perform. The more eminent look upon those in lower stations as brethren; nor do they put rank above the excellence of the use but the latter above the former. Moreover, when virgins are given in marriage, they do not know of what lineage they are, for no one there knows his father on earth, the Lord being the Father of all. So likewise as to wealth. There, wealth is the endowment of being wise; according to this, riches are given them in sufficiency. As to how marriages are entered into there, this may be seen above (no. 229).
Footnotes:
1. The Latin is conjugiale (the conjugial), but the context indicates that this is a misprint for conjugium as in the translation.
250. (xiv) Of external causes a fifth is inequality of station and condition in externals. There are many inequalities of station and condition which during cohabitation thwart the marital love begun before the nuptials. They may be classified as inequalities in age, in position, and in possessions. It needs no confirmation that unequal ages induce cold in marriage, as of a boy with an old woman or of an adolescent maiden with a decrepit man. It is also admitted without confirmation that unequal positions result similarly, as in the marriage of a prominent man with a maid-servant or of an honorable matron with a servant. It is plain that inequality in possessions has the same result, unless likeness of minds and ways and a devotion of the one partner to the inclinations and native desires of the other, hold the two together. But in none of these instances does obsequiousness on account of the other's high station or condition conjoin except slavishly; and a servile conjunction is a cold one. For then there is nothing marital of the spirit and heart, but only of the mouth and in name, at which the inferior may glory, but the superior blushes deeply. In the heavens, however, there is no inequality in age, position or possessions. As for age, all in heaven are in the bloom of youth and remain in it to eternity. As for position, all regard others according to the uses they render, the more eminent in position regarding those in lower stations as brothers, nor do they put position before the rendering of use, but the latter before the former. Young women, moreover, when given in marriage, do not know what their lineage is; for no one there knows his father on earth; the Lord is Father of all. The like is true of possessions: heaven's wealth is endowment with wisdom; according to this all are given sufficient means. See above (229) on how marriage is contracted in heaven.
250. (14) That the fifth of the external causes of cold is, inequality of station and of condition in matters external. There are many inequalities of station and of condition which, during the time of living together, destroy the conjugial love begun before the nuptials; but they may be referred to inequalities in respect to age, to social station, and to wealth. That unequal ages induce cold in marriages, as of a young man with an old woman, or of a youthful virgin with a decrepit man, there is no need to confirm. And that inequalities of social station in marriages induce cold, as of a man in princely station with a servant maid, or of an illustrious matron with a servant man, is also acknowledged without confirmation. Likewise that disparity as to wealth induces cold is plain, unless a similarity of dispositions and manners, and the application of one to the inclinations and native desires of the other consociates them. But in either case compliance by one on account of the superior station and condition of the other yields only a servile conjunction, and this is but a frigid conjunction; for with them the conjugial is not of the spirit and of the heart, but only of the mouth and in name, of which the inferior may glory but the superior blushes with shame. But in the heavens there is no inequality of age, nor of rank, nor of wealth. As respects age, all there are in the bloom of youth, and remain in it to eternity. As to station, all there regard others according to the uses that they perform; the more eminent look upon those in lower station as brethren, and do not put the dignity above the excellence of the use, but this above that. And also when virgins are given in marriage they do not know of what lineage they are, for no one there knows his father on earth, but the Lord is Father of all. As regards wealth likewise, this is there the gift of attaining wisdom; according to this, riches are given to them in sufficiency. How marriages are initiated there may be seen above, n. 229.
250. XIV: Quod causarum externarum Quinta sit Inaequalitas status et conditionis in externis. Sunt plures Inaequalitates status et conditionis, quae tempore cohabitationis dirimunt amorem conjugialem initiatum ante nuptias; sed referri possunt ad inaequalitates quoad Aetates, quoad Dignitates, et quoad Opulentias: quod inaequales Aetates inducant frigus in conjugiis, ut pueri cum anu, et adolescentis virginis cum decrepito, confirmatione non eget. Quod inaequales Dignitates similiter in conjugiis, ut viri principis cum ancilla, ac matronae illustris cum famulo, etiam absque confirmatione agnoscitur. Quod pariter Opulentiae, nisi similitudo animorum et morum, et applicatio unius ad inclinationes et ad nativa desideria alterius, consocient illos, patet. Sed hos et illos obsequia propter supereminentiam status et conditionis alterius, non conjungunt nisi serviliter; at haec conjunctio est conjunctio frigida; apud illos enim conjugiale non est spiritus et cordis, sed modo oris et nominis, a quo gloriatur inferior, et verecunde rubescit superior. In coelis autem non datur inaequalitas aetatum, nec dignitatum, neque opulentiarum; quoad Aetates, ibi omnes in flore juventutis sunt, et in illo permanent in aeternum; quoad Dignitates, spectant omnes ibi alios secundum usus quos praestant, eminentiores conditione inferiores ut fratres, nec praeponunt dignitatem praestantiae usus, sed hanc illi; et quoque cum Virgines dantur nuptui, non sciunt e quo stemmate sunt; nemo enim ibi scit patrem suum in terra, sed Dominus est omnium Pater: quoad Opulentias similiter, hae sunt ibi dotes sapiendi; secundum has dantur illis opes in sufficientia: quomodo initiantur conjugia ibi, videatur supra229