282、⑾它们旨在改正人们，使他们适应。婚姻仿品，也就是性格不合的夫妻之间表面的爱情和友谊，旨在改正。这是因为属灵人在与属世人的婚约约束下，只想着改正他们的生活方式。他通过又智慧又优雅的对话，以及吸引对方性情的善意行为而这样做。不过，如果对方对这些充耳不闻，或对他的行为无动于衷，他就转而寻求适应，以保持家庭事务的秩序，提供相互帮助，照料婴儿和孩子等等。因为属灵人的所言所行带有些许公义与公平的意味，如前所示（280节）。
然而，对双方都不属灵，反而属世的夫妻来说，这种事也是有可能的，但却为了其它目的。如果婚姻的仿品旨在改变和适应，那么目的要么是使一方被引入与对方相似的行为方式，要么使对方服从自己的欲望；要么为了确保履行服务于自己的义务；要么为了家庭和睦，或家庭之外的好名声；要么为了从对方或其亲属那里获得所期待的好处，更不用说其它目的了。不过，对有些人来说，这些目的起因于他们理性的谨慎；对有些人来说，起因于他们天生的礼貌；对有些人来说，则起因于生来变得习以为常的欲望快乐，因为他们害怕丧失这些快乐。此外还有更多其它使得善意被当成婚姻之爱产物的目的，它们多多少少具有模仿的性质。有些看似出于婚姻之爱的善意行为只在家庭之外才能看到，在家里看不到；但这些行为只是为了照顾对方的面子，如若不是，那它们纯粹是演戏。
282、（11）它们被当作是调整，协调婚姻的手段。
精神上不同的夫妇会表现出表面的爱和友谊，是因为当一个有精神性的人受婚约约束时，他会做出以上表现来维护并修复婚姻的状况。他会通过聪明，优雅的言谈以恩惠来使对方高兴。若这样做不能起作用，他就会采取容忍态度以便能保护家庭，相互支持，照顾孩子等相似的原因。因为有精神性的人的言行是出于正义的考虑的，见280节。
相反在双方都自然性的夫妇中，可能会有相似的努力，但目的却是不同的。若一方要维持或容忍，他的目的是使对方也有同样的行为或者要对方服从自己，或者这样做的目的是自己获利，或者是为了家中的平和，以及自己的名誉，或者是为了亲属的希望等等，还有好多，这样做结果是使他们表面上的爱更为虚假。
这也是那些只在外表现出爱和恩惠，而在家中却不然的情况。这是为了名誉，若不是如此，那他们这样做则是在做游戏。
282. (xi) They are intended to improve people and make them accommodating.
The pretences practised by married couples, allowing those who disagree in character to appear loving and friendly, are intended to lead to improvement, because a spiritual person bound in matrimony with a natural one has no other aim than improving the way they live. He does this by talking about wisdom and refinement, and by acts of good will which appeal to the other's character. But if these fall on deaf ears or make no impression on his behaviour, he aims at arrangements which will keep order in household affairs, provide mutual help, take care of babies and children, and so forth. For what a spiritual persons says and does has a touch of justice and judgment, as shown above (280).
[2] In the case, however, of a married couple, neither of whom are spiritual, but both natural, something similar may occur, but for other purposes. If they aim at improvement and an arrangement, the intention is either to bring the other one to behave in a similar fashion to oneself or to make him or her subservient to one's own desires; or to ensure the performance of duties which serve one's own, either for the sake of peace at home or good repute outside it, or for the sake of favours hoped for from one's partner, or from his relatives, not to mention other aims. But these in some cases arise from their rational prudence, in some cases from their native politeness, in some cases from the pleasures of desires which have become familiar from birth, so that their loss is feared. There are also many more purposes, which cause the good will assumed to be the product of conjugial love to become more or less pretended. There are also acts of good will looking as if from conjugial love to be seen outside the home, but not inside it; but these have in view the preservation of each party's reputation, or if not, they are merely a game.
282. 11. They are adopted as means of amendment and as means of accommodation. Simulations of conjugial love are appearances of love and friendship between partners who differ in spirit; and they are adopted as means of amendment when a spiritual person is bound together by covenant of marriage with a natural one, because a spiritual person's whole intention is to amend their life. This he accomplishes by wise and refined conversations and by favors appealing to the other's nature. If these fall on deaf ears, however, and fail to affect the behavior of the other, he has as his intention to find means of accommodation, for the sake of preserving order in their domestic affairs, for the sake of maintaining the assistance they render each other, and for the sake of the infants and children, in addition to other, similar ends. For the words and deeds that issue from a spiritual person are inspired by justice and judgment, as we showed above in no. 280.
[2] By contrast, in the case of partners neither of whom is spiritual but both natural, a similar effort may be made, but for other ends. If one or the other looks to amendment or accommodation, either his purpose is to coerce the other into conduct similar to his own and to subordinate the other to his wishes, or it is to gain certain services and turn them to his benefit and advantage. Or it may be for the sake of peace within the home, or for the sake of their reputation outside the home. Or it may be for the sake of various benefits hoped for from the partner or from the partner's relatives. Or it may be for the sake of other ends. However, in some people these ends are owing to a prudence born of reason, in some to a native civility, in some to a fear of losing the pleasures of lusts customary in them from birth, and other causes, the effect of which is to make their affectations of favor and seeming expressions of conjugial love either more or less insincere.
There are also cases in which displays of favor and seeming expressions of conjugial love are adopted outside the home and none inside the home; but these are for the sake of their reputation, or if not for the sake of this, they are in the nature of a game.
282. 11. These pretenses allow improvement and make it easier to get along. The reason why the pretenses of marriage that seem like love and friendship between married partners of different minds improve the situation is that a spiritual person joined to a worldly one by marriage covenant just wants to make his or her mutual life better. This is done by sensitive and refined conversation and by doing things the other person likes, and if it falls on deaf ears and set ways, the person makes allowances to keep order in household matters, and for the sake of working together, and for the babies and children - this kind of thing. For what a spiritual person says and does is flavored by justice and judgment (as above, no. 280).
But when neither partner is spiritual but both are worldly, it can work the same way, though for other purposes - whether to improve matters and make it easier to get along, or because one wants to make the other act his way, or to dominate the other, or to have the other serve his purposes, or for peace in the house, or for their reputation, or to gain benefits from the partner or the in-laws, and other reasons.
But some people do these things from the prudence of their good sense, some from native civility, some for fear of doing without comforts they have always enjoyed. And for many other reasons they more or less pretend thoughtfulness as if it came from a love of marriage.
Outside the home there are also things people do for each other as if from married love (while neglecting them at home) for the purpose of their reputation, or if not that, just for show.
282. XI. THAT THEY ARE FOR THE SAKE OF AMENDMENTS AND FOR THE SAKE OF ACCOMMODATIONS. That the conjugial simulations which are appearances of love and friendship between partners of dissentient dispositions are for the sake of amendment, is because a spiritual man, bound by the matrimonial covenant to one who is natural, has no other intention than amendment of life, and on his part this is brought about by wise and refined conversations and by courteous favors pleasing to the genius of the other. But if these fall upon the ears and touch the conduct of the other partner without effect, then, for the sake of the preservation of order in domestic affairs, for the sake of mutual aid, for the sake of the infants and children, and for similar reasons, he has in mind to make accommodations; for, as shown in no. 280 above, the words and deeds of a spiritual man savor of justice and judgment.
[2] The same thing is possible, but for the sake of other ends, with partners of whom neither one is spiritual but both are natural. If the conjugial simulation is for the sake of amendment and accommodation, either it has in view that the one partner may be brought into similarity of manners with the other and be subordinated to the desires of that other; or it is for the sake of certain offices which may be of service to one's own; or of peace in the home or reputation outside the home; or of favors hoped for from the partner or from the partner's relations; besides other ends. With some persons, however, these ends are from the prudence of their reason, with some from native civility, with some from the delights of cupidities familiar to them from birth and the loss of which is feared; besides many other ends from which the assumed favors as though of conjugial love become more or less of a simulated character. There are also favors as though of conjugial love which are assumed outside the home, there being none within the home; but these have in view the reputation of both partners, otherwise they are theatrical.
282. (xi) Marital simulations are for the sake of amendment and mutual adaptation. Marital simulations or appearances of love and friendship between partners of discordant minds, are for the sake of amendment, because a spiritual man, coupled in a matrimonial covenant with a natural man, aims at amendment of life, and promotes it by wise and courteous address and by favors agreeable to the other's nature. But if these fall in vain on the other's ears and ways, he plans adaptations to maintain order in domestic affairs, for mutual aid, and on account of the little ones and children, and other like objects. For the words and deeds of a spiritual man are inspired by justice and judgment, as was shown above (280).
In the case of partners, however, of whom neither is spiritual, but both of whom are natural, there may be similar effort, but for other ends: if toward amendment and adaptation, the end is either to reduce the other into conformity with one's own ways and subject him to one's desires, or it is to turn good offices to one's advantage, or it is peace within the home or reputation outside it, or favors hoped for from the partner or from his relatives, besides other objects. These efforts come with some from their reasoned prudence, with some from an inborn civility, with some from fear of losing enjoyments to which the desires have been accustomed from birth, and so on; favors done then as from marital love and toward such ends become more or less feigned. There are also favors extended as if from marital love outside the house, but not at home; these have the reputation of each in view, or else are mockeries.
282. (11) That they are for the sake of amendment and for accommodation. That the conjugial simulations which are appearances of love and friendship, between married partners disagreeing in mind, are for the sake of amendment, is because a spiritual man joined to a natural by the matrimonial covenant, has no other intention than amendment of life, which is promoted on his or her part by wise and refined conversation, and by favors soothing to the peculiar disposition of the other. And if these fall upon the ears and manners in vain, then he or she strives for accommodations, for the preservation of order in domestic affairs, for mutual aid, and for the sake of infants and children, and such things. For the words and deeds that proceed from a spiritual man savor of justice and judgment, as has been shown above (n. 280).
But with married partners, of whom neither is spiritual but both are natural, the like may take place, but for other ends. If for the sake of amendment and accommodation, it is to the end that either may be brought into similarity of manners with him or herself, and be subordinated to his or her desires, or with a view to some services that they may be of advantage to his or her own, or for the sake of peace in the house, or of the good name out of the house, or for the sake of favors hoped for from the married partners, or from his or her relations, and for other ends. But with some they come from the prudence of their reason; with some from native civility; with some from the delights of desires familiar from birth, the loss of which is feared; besides many ends from which the favors received as if of conjugial love, become more or less feigned. There are also attentions as if of conjugial love, shown out of the house and none within the house. But these look to the good name of each as an end, and if not to this they are in sport.
282. XI: Quod sint propter emendationes, et propter accommodationes. Quod Simulationes conjugiales, quae sunt apparentiae amoris et amicitiae inter conjuges animis dissidentes, sint propter emendationem, est quia Spiritualis homo foedere matrimoniali copulatus cum Naturali, nihil aliud intendit quam emendationem vitae; quod ab illo fit per sermones sapientiae et elegantiae, et per favores genio alterius adblandientes; at si haec vane in ejus aures et mores cadunt, intendit accommodationes, propter conservationem ordinis in rebus domesticis, propter mutua auxilia, et propter infantes et liberos, et similia alia; nam dicta et acta, quae a spirituali homine procedunt, sapiunt ex justitia et judicio, ut supra 280, ostensum est.
[2] Apud conjuges, autem, ex quibus non unus est spiritualis, sed ambo sunt naturales, simile potest dari, sed propter alios fines; si propter emendationem et accommodationem, est finis vel ut alter redigatur ad similitudinem suorum morum, ac ut suis desideriis subordinetur, vel propter aliqua officia, ut fiant inservientia suis, vel propter pacem intra domum, aut famam extra domum, vel propter favores speratos a conjuge, aut ab ejus agnatis, praeter fines alios; sed hi apud quosdam sunt ex prudentia rationis illorum, apud quosdam ex civilitate nativa, apud quosdam ex jucundis cupiditatum a nativitate familiarium, quarum jacturam timet, praeter plures, ex quibus assumpti favores sicut amoris conjugialis fiunt plus aut minus simulatorii. Dantur etiam favores sicut amoris conjugialis extra domum, et nulli intra domum, sed hi pro fine spectant famam utriusque, et si non hanc, sunt lusorii.