299、如果女儿未征求父母或监护人的意见，擅自接受某个向她求婚的追求者，情况就完全不同了。因为她不能出于判断力、了解和爱来权衡关系到她未来福祉的终身大事。她缺乏判断力，是因为她尚未体验婚姻生活，没法进行比较，也没法根据男人的秉性来判断他们将来的行为。她缺乏了解或认知，因为她的经验几乎没有超出父母的家庭和少数闺蜜的范围；并且她没法打听有关追求者的家庭和人品的信息。她也缺乏爱，因为对刚达到谈婚论嫁年龄或之后不久的女儿来说，她们的爱情顺从出于感官的欲望，还没有被成熟心智的渴望所控制。
然而，女儿在同意之前，应认真考虑自己的终身大事，免得勉勉强强嫁给一个自己不爱的男人。因为在这种情况下，她这一方的同意是缺乏的；而构成婚姻、将爱情的最初体味赋予她灵的，是同意。勉强或被迫的同意不会给予灵这种体味，尽管在肉体上可以；这会使存在于灵里面的贞洁转化成情欲，这情欲会败坏初次绽放温暖的婚姻之爱。
299、若女孩子不参考父母意见而自己做出决定。那么可能会有完全不同的结果。因为她不能通过判断力，知识和爱来平衡将影响她的将来的决定。她的判断力还是不成熟的，没有对婚姻足够的认识，不能从男人性格上去看待他们。女孩所见到的家庭方面的关系是有限的。她无法去查看追求者的具体家庭状况。她们的爱还不成熟会产生痴迷，并不是由成熟的头脑所指挥。
尽管如此，女孩子还是要自己谨慎决定。而不能被迫与她不爱的人结婚。被迫做出的决定不会促动精神，还会腐蚀婚姻之爱。
299. It would be utterly different, if the daughter by herself, without consulting her parents or those who take their place, were to accept a suitor who woos her. For she is unable to employ judgment, knowledge and love to weigh up a matter which will affect her welfare. She lacks judgment, because she is still inexperienced in this as regards married life, and is in no position to make comparisons, and to judge from men's characters how they will behave. She lacks knowledge or acquaintance, because her experience hardly extends beyond her parents' household or that of a few female friends; and she is in no position to fish for information about her suitor's family and personality. She lacks love too, because in the case of daughters who have just reached marriageable age, or shortly afterwards, their love is obedient to the lusts coming from the senses, and is not yet controlled by the desires of a trained mind.
[2] A daughter, however, ought to think hard about the match before she agrees to it, to ensure that she is not unwillingly driven into a marriage with a man she does not love. For in this case there is a lack of consent on her part, and consent is what makes a marriage, and gives her spirit the first taste of that love. Consent unwillingly given or forced does not give the spirit a taste, though it may do so to the body; and this turns the chastity present in the spirit into lust, which damages conjugial love in the warmth of its first flowering.
299. An altogether different situation eventuates if a daughter consents to a petitioning suitor on her own without consulting her parents or guardians. For she cannot weigh in the balance such a matter that affects her future welfare and be guided by judgment, knowledge and love. Not by judgment, because her judgment is still in ignorance in regard to married life and in no position to balance considerations for and against or to perceive the ways of men from their native character. Not by knowledge or observation, because she observes little beyond the domestic relations in her parents' home and in the homes of some companions, and she is not equipped to investigate such matters as are private and personal to her suitor. Neither by love, because when daughters first reach a marriageable age, and also the age that follows, their love is governed by infatuations of the senses and not as yet by the desires of a mature mind.
[2] Nevertheless, a daughter ought to deliberate on such a matter in herself before giving consent, and this in order not to be swept against her will into wedlock with a man she does not love. For in such a case, consent on her part is lacking, and yet it is consent which makes a marriage and which initiates her spirit into conjugial love. Consent that is unwillingly given or coerced does not initiate her spirit, though it may the body, and in that case it turns any chastity residing in the spirit into lust, by which conjugial love is corrupted at its first warmth.
299. It would be quite different if a daughter consented to a suitor, without consulting her parents or those in place of parents, because she cannot, from judgment, knowledge, and love, evaluate this matter that has to do with her future welfare. Not from judgment, because her judgment about married life is still in a state of ignorance and not in a state to compare one reason with another and ascertain men's habits from their natural inclinations. Not from knowledge or inquiry, because she knows little beyond household matters of her parents and other friends, and she is not good at finding out the kind of things that are private and personal to her suitor. Not from love, because in daughters during this first marriageable state - and in the next - love obeys the desires of the senses and not yet the wishes of a keen mind.
Yet it is right for a daughter to think this thing over by herself before she consents, so as not to be made captive unwillingly to a man she does not love. For that way she does not give consent on her own behalf. And yet consent makes a marriage and initiates her spirit into married love. But unwilling or extorted consent does not initiate her spirit, though it can initiate her body.
And in this way it turns purity, which resides in her spirit, into passion - spoiling married love in its first warmth.
299. It would be wholly different if the daughter were to give consent to her suitor independently without consultation with her parents or those in the place of parents; for she cannot weigh this matter, which concerns her future welfare, from judgment, knowledge, and love. Not from judgment because her judgment is as yet in ignorance in respect to conjugial life and is not in a state to compare reasons or, from the lives of men, to discern their morals. Not from knowledge or cognition, because she knows little beyond the domestic concerns of her parents and of some companions, and is unfitted to search into things private and personal to her wooer. Not from love, because with daughters in this first marriageable age, and also in the next, love follows the longings arising from the senses, and not as yet the desires arising from a cultivated mind.
[2] The reason why it yet behooves a daughter to deliberate on the matter with herself before consenting is lest she be carried unwillingly into a tie with a man unloved, for then, on her part, consent is lacking; yet it is this which makes marriage 1and initiates her spirit into that love. Unwilling or extorted consent does not initiate the spirit, though it may the body; thus it converts chastity which resides in the spirit into lust, whereby conjugial love is corrupted in its first heat.
Footnotes:
1. The context suggests that this should be into conjugial love.
299. It would be another matter, were a daughter to consent of herself to an urgent suitor without consulting her parents or those in their place. For she cannot weigh this matter involving her future welfare in the balance from judgment, knowledge and love. She cannot do so from judgment, for in her this is still ignorant of married life and in no position to balance reasons or to see into the ways of men from their dispositions. She cannot from knowledge or acquaintance, for she is acquainted with little beyond the home life of her parents and of some companions, and is not qualified to investigate the private and personal affairs of a suitor. Nor can she from love, for the love of daughters when first marriageable and for some time, complies with desires of the senses and not as yet with the desires of a reflecting mind. But a daughter should nevertheless deliberate with herself on the matter before she gives her consent, lest she be borne unwillingly into a connection with a man whom she does not love. For then she brings no consent on her part, and yet consent makes marriage and initiates her spirit into that love; an unwilled or extorted consent does not initiate the spirit, but may the body, thus turning chastity, which resides in the spirit, into lust, by which marital love is spoiled in its first warmth.
299. It would be quite another case if the daughter were of herself to consent to her client suitor, without consultation with her parents, or with those who are in the place of parents; for she could not from judgment, knowledge, and love, weigh in the balance this matter on which her future welfare depends: Not from judgment, because this in her is yet in ignorance in respect to conjugial life, and is not in a state to compare reasons with each other, nor to see clearly into the morals of men from their mode of living: Not from knowledge or information, because she is acquainted with but few things beyond the domestic concerns of her parents, and of some companions, and is unfitted to search into such matters as are private and personal to her wooer: And not from love, because the love of daughters in this first marriageable age, and also in the next, waits upon desires from the senses, and not as yet upon longings from a chastened mind. The reason why a daughter ought nevertheless to deliberate with herself upon the matter before she consents is, lest she be influenced to unite with a man whom she does not love, for in that case she does not on her part add consent, and yet this constitutes marriage and initiates her spirit into that love, while unwilling or extorted consent does not initiate the spirit, but may the body, and thus convert chastity, which resides in the spirit, into lust, whereby conjugial love is corrupted in its first heat.
299. Aliter prorsus fieret, 1si filia ex se, inconsultis parentibus, aut illis qui loco illorum sunt, ad clientem procum consentit; non enim ex judicio, scientia, et amore, rem illam, quae est futurae salutis ejus, ad lancem potest expendere; non ex Judicio, quia hoc ejus de vita conjugiali adhuc in ignorantia est, et non in statu conferendi rationes inter se, ac perspiciendi mores virorum ex geniis illorum: non ex Scientia seu cognitione, quia pauca ultra domestica apud parentes, et apud aliquas sodales, cognoscit; et ad expiscandum talia, quae familiaria et propria suo proco sunt, inepta est: neque ex Amore, quia hic filiarum, in prima illarum nubili aetate, et quoque in altera, paret concupitis ex sensibus, et nondum desideriis ex mente elimata.
[2] Quod tamen filiam oporteat rem illam apud se deliberare, antequam consentit, est causa, ne invita feratur ad copulam cum viro inamato; sic enim non accedit consensus a parte ejus, et tamen hic facit conjugium, ac initiat spiritum ejus in amorem illum; ac consensus invitus seu extorsus non initiat spiritum, sed potest corpus; et sic vertit castitatem, quae residet in spiritu, in libidinem, ex qua amor conjugialis in primo suo calore vitiatur.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: fierit,