312、⒃婚姻之爱若不按这个正确次序和自己的程序发展，而是仓促行进，就会燃尽精华而死亡。这是天上的一些天使说的；他们所说的精华是指心智和身体的内在区域。若婚姻之爱仓促行进，这些精华就会燃烧殆尽，也就是被耗尽；因为此时这爱是从耗尽并毁灭婚姻之爱在其开始所居住并由此发展的圣所的火焰入手的。如果一个男人和一个女人仓促进入婚姻，没有遵循正确的次序，不仰望主、听从理性，并拒绝订婚，只是一味地顺从肉体情欲，这一切就会发生。这爱若从肉体的炽热入手，就会变得外在，而非内在，因而不是夫妻之间的那种。此时，这爱可称作没有核的爱之壳，或干瘪的肉欲，因为它的纯正精髓已经被掏空了。有关该主题的详细内容，可参看305节。
312、（16）若婚姻之爱不是按顺序发展的，它会从精髓燃尽并死亡。天使们告诉我以上这点。所谓的精髓是指头脑和躯体的内在。若婚姻之爱不是按顺序发展，这些就会燃尽，被破坏。那些忽略婚姻的正确发展顺序，不仰视主，不听取合理建议，没有订婚，而只顾躯体之乐的人的情况就会这样。若爱是那样开始的，那它就会变成外在的爱，而非内在的爱，也就不是婚姻之爱。就象是只有外壳而没有内容的爱，是只有肉体的而没有精髓。
312. (xvi) If conjugial love is hurried on without this proper order and its procedures, it burns out the marrow and is consumed.
This is what some in heaven say; they mean by marrow the inner regions of the mind and body. These are burnt up, that is, destroyed if conjugial love is hurried on, because this love then begins with a flame, which eats up and ruins the shrine in which conjugial love should dwell in its beginning and from which it should develop. This is what happens, if a man and a woman hasten into marriage without following the proper sequence, not looking to the Lord, not consulting reason, rejecting an engagement, and merely giving in to the demands of the flesh. If that love begins with the burning heat of the flesh, it becomes outward and not inward and so not conjugial. This love may be called a shell of love with no kernel, or fleshy, lean and dry, since it is emptied of its real essence. (See further on this subject 305 above.)
312. 16. If conjugial love is hastened prematurely without an orderly development and its proper steps, it burns out the marrows and dies. So I am told by some angels in heaven; and by marrows they mean the inner elements of the mind and body. These are burned out, which is to say, destroyed, if conjugial love is hastened prematurely, because that love then commences from a fire that consumes and destroys those inmost recesses in which, as in the places it begins, conjugial love must have its seat and from which it must originate. This is what happens if a man and woman rush a marriage prematurely without an orderly development, not looking to the Lord, not taking the counsel of reason, spurning betrothal, and hearkening only to the flesh. If the heat of that is the ardor from which love commences, it becomes an external love and not an internal one, thus not conjugial love; and this may be termed the shell of love without its kernel, or a fleshly one that is wasted and dry, because it is devoid of its genuine essence.
(For more on this subject see no. 305 above.)
312. 16. Rushed into without development by proper stages, married love burns out its core and is squandered. Certain ones in heaven put it this way. By core they mean the interiors of your mind and body. When married love is rushed into it burns these out, or consumes them, because then that love starts from a flame that devours and corrupts the sanctuaries where married love should settle as in its starting point, and where it should begin from. This happens if a man and woman rush into marriage without the right order, not looking to the Lord, not consulting reason, rejecting formal commitment, and obeying only their flesh. If that love begins from flesh's fire, it becomes superficial and not internal, thus not married love. You might call it a shell and not a kernel, or physical - meager and dry - because drained of its true essence.
(More about this appears in no. 305, above).
312. XVI. THAT CONJUGIAL LOVE, PRECIPITATED WITHOUT ORDER AND ITS MODES, BURNS OUT THE MARROWS AND IS CONSUMED. This is so stated by some in heaven; and by the marrows they mean the interiors of the mind and body. The reason why these are burned out, that is, are consumed, when conjugial love is precipitated, is because the love then commences from a flame which consumes and destroys the sanctuaries wherein, as in its beginnings, conjugial love is to dwell, and from which it is to commence. This is the case when a man and woman precipitate marriage without order, not looking to the Lord, not consulting reason, rejecting betrothal, and yielding only to the flesh; and if that love commences from the burning heat of the flesh, it becomes external and not internal, thus not conjugial. It can then be called a shell-love, not a kernel-love; or a flesh-love, lean and dry, because emptied of its genuine essence. More on this subject may be seen above (no. 305).
312. (xvi) Precipitated without order and its steps, marital love burns out the marrows and comes to an end. So some in heaven have put it. By "marrows" they mean the interiors of mind and body. These are burned out or consumed by a marital love which is precipitated, because that love then begins in a flame which eats out and destroys the recesses in which marital love should reside as in its principles, and from which it should commence. This ensues if the man and the woman precipitate marriage without order, not looking to the Lord, not consulting reason, rejecting betrothal, and only complying with the flesh. Beginning in such ardor of the flesh, marital love turns external, not internal, thus not truly marital. It may be called shell-like, not possessed of any kernel, or fleshly, meagre and dry, being emptied of its genuine essence. On this see more above,305.
312. (16) That conjugial love precipitated, without order and its modes, burns out the marrows and comes to an end. So it is said by some in heaven; and by the marrows they mean the interiors of the mind and of the body. The reason why these are burned out, that is, come to an end, by precipitate conjugial love, is that the love in such case begins with a flame, which eats up and consumes those inmost sanctuaries wherein as in its beginnings, conjugial love should dwell, and from which it should begin. This comes to pass if the man and the woman precipitate marriage, without order, not looking to the Lord, nor consulting reason, throwing aside betrothal, and yielding only to the flesh, from the burning heat of which if that love begins, it becomes external and not internal, and thus not conjugial love; and it may be said to be of the shell and not the kernel, or of the flesh, lean and dry, because exhausted of its genuine essence. More on this subject may be seen in n. 305.
312. XVI. Quod amor conjugialis absque ordine et hujus modis praecipitatus exurat medullas, et consummetur. A quibusdam in Coelo ita dicitur; et per medullas intelligunt interiora mentis et corporis: quod haec ab amore conjugiali praecipitato exurantur, hoc est, consummentur, est quia amor ille tunc inchoat a flamma, quae exedit ac corrumpit illa adyta, in quibus ut in suis principiis amor conjugialis residebit, et a quibus inchoabit; hoc fit, si vir et foemina absque ordine praecipitant conjugium, non spectando ad Dominum, non consulendo rationem, rejiciendo desponsationem, et modo obtemperando carni; a cujus ardore si inchoat ille amor, fit ille externus et non internus, ita non conjugialis; et hic vocari potest crustaceus non nucleatus, seu carneus macer et siccus, quia exinanitus genuina sua essentia. Plura de his videantur supra305