330、记事二：
我曾听说在一些男人当中有一场关于女性的愉快讨论。讨论的话题是：总是爱自己的美丽，也就是说，因自己的美貌而爱自己的女人，是否爱她的丈夫。首先，他们一致认为，女人具有双重美丽，一种是属世的，就是她的脸蛋和身材之美；另一种是属灵的，就是她的爱和举止之美。他们还认为，在自然界，这两种美常常分离；但在灵界，它们一直联结；因为在灵界，美是爱和举止所取的形式。因此死后，经常看到的现象是：丑陋的女人变成美的化身，而美丽的女人却变成丑的化身。
正当男人们讨论这个话题时，一些妻子过来说：“请允许我们参与你们的讨论吧，因为你们正在讨论你们的知识所告诉你们的，但我们会讨论我们的经验告诉我们的。另外，你们对妻子们的爱所知如此之少，以致几近于无。难道你们不知道，正是妻子们智慧的谨慎使得她们把自己对丈夫的爱深藏于胸，或埋在内心深处吗？”于是，讨论开始了，男人们得出的第一个结论是：每个女人都希望容貌美丽，举止也美丽，因为她生来是爱之情感，该情感的形式就是美丽。因此，不想美丽的女人，就是不想爱和被爱的女人，因而不是一个真正的女人。对此，妻子们的评论是：“女人的美在于她的温柔，因而在于她细腻的感受力。这是女人爱男人、男人爱女人的源头。恐怕你们不明白这一点。”
男人们得出的第二个结论是：婚前，女人想变美是为了男人们，但婚后，只要是贞洁的，就唯独为了她的丈夫，而非泛泛的男人们。”对此，妻子们的评论是：“丈夫在品尝了他妻子的属世之美后，就不再看它，而是看她的属灵之美，这使得他反过来爱妻子；他若回想妻子的属世之美，就是本着对它的不同看法来想的。”
男人们经讨论得出的第三个结论是：女人婚后若还想美丽，和以前一样，就是爱男人们，而不是爱一个丈夫或一个男人。他们解释说：“因自己的美貌而爱自己的女人，总是希望她的美貌被品尝；由于如你们所说，这美在她丈夫面前不再显明，所以她是想让两眼落到她身上的男人们来品尝它。显然，这样一个女人通常爱的是异性，而非其中一个异性。”闻听此言，妻子们沉默了；但仍小声说：“哪个女人没有一点虚荣心，不想既在男人们面前显得美丽，也在自己唯一的丈夫面前显得美丽？”这次讨论被天上来的一些妻子听见了，她们因是天上的情感，所以很美丽；她们肯定了男人们得出的这三个结论，但补充说：“唯愿妻子们为自己丈夫的缘故并从他们的角度来爱自己的美丽和妆饰。”
我曾听到过一些男子关于女性的谈论。他们谈到女人是否能象爱自己的美一样爱她的丈夫。男人们一致同意，首先女人有两重美，一种是与容貌身材相称的自然的美，一种是与她们的爱相关的精神的美。他们认为这两种美在世间通常是相分离的，而在精神世界中是相统一的。因为外在的美在精神世界中是一个人的爱的表现，通常死后，贤惠的女人变的更美，美的女人变得更贤惠。
当男人们正谈论的时候，一些妻子过来说：“让我们参加讨论吧！你们是出于观察而谈论这些内容，而我们却是从经验中了解到的。另外，关于妻子们所拥有的爱，你们所知道的太少了，你们知道妻子们明智地隐藏对丈夫的爱，并将其藏在心中吗？”
谈论又重新开始了，男人们得到的第一个结论是每个女人都希望在容貌和行为上美丽，因为女人生来是爱的形式，这种情感体现在美丽之中。因此不希望自己美丽的女人不希望去爱和被爱，因此不是一个真正的女人。
在此，妻子们说：“女人的美存在于她的温柔性情之中，进而存在于她的敏感性中，正如此，女人爱男人，男人爱女人，这也许你们并不知道。”
男人们的第二个结论是婚前女人为了男人而希望自己美丽。婚后女人为了自己的丈夫而非别的男人而希望自己美丽。
在此妻子们说：“在丈夫得到妻子的自然之美后，他就不会再注意它，他会进而看到她的精神的美以及因此产生的爱。他若注意到她的自然美，也是一种不同的看法。”
男人们得到的第三个结论是若女人在婚后还象从前一样希望自己美丽，她是爱一切男人而非他的丈夫。“因为女人爱自己的美就会希望她的美被人体会，因为她的丈夫不再看到她的美——正如你从前说的——她希望看到自己的美的男人体会她的美。显然这种女人爱一切异性而非其中的一个。”
此时女人们默默地自言自语说：“什么样的女人希望对一般男人看上去美丽同时在自己丈夫看上去也美丽呢？”
听到这儿，天国中的美丽的妻子们肯定了男人所得的三个结论。她们还说：“让女人继续爱美吧，只要那是为了他们的丈夫，并受他们的启示。”
330. The second experience.
I once heard some men having a charming debate about the female sex, whether any woman who constantly loves her own beauty, that is, who loves herself for her looks, can love her husband. They began by agreeing that women have two kinds of beauty, one natural, that of the face and body, and the other spiritual, that of love and behaviour. They also agreed that these two kinds of beauty are very often separate in the natural world, but they are always combined in the spiritual world; for in that world beauty is the form taken by love and behaviour. After death therefore it very often happens that ugly women become models of beauty, and beautiful women models of ugliness.
[2] While the men were discussing this, some wives came along who said, 'Allow us to take part in your debate, because you are discussing what your knowledge tells you, but we what our experience tells us. Moreover, you know so little about wives' love it is scarcely anything. Don't you know it is the prudence of wives' wisdom that makes them hide away in the depth of their chests or in the centre of their hearts the love they have for their husbands?'
The debate began, and the men's first conclusion was that every woman wants to be seen as beautiful in face and in behaviour, because she is by birth an affection for love, and the form of this affection is beauty. A woman therefore who does not want to be beautiful is one who does not want to love and be loved, so she is no true woman.
The wives' comment on this was, 'A woman's beauty resides in her gentle tenderness, and so in her exquisite powers of feeling. This is the source of a woman's love for a man, and a man's love for a woman. Perhaps you do not understand this.'
[3] The men's second conclusion was that before she is married a woman wants to be beautiful for men, but after marriage, provided she is chaste, for her husband alone, and not for men generally.
The wives' comment was, 'After a husband has tasted his wife's natural beauty, he no longer sees her, but rather her spiritual beauty, and this makes him love her in return; so he recalls her natural beauty, but in a different guise.'
[4] The third conclusion from their debate was that if a woman after marriage wants to be seen to be beautiful, just as she was before, she loves men and not a husband, 'because a woman who loves herself for her beauty continually wants her beauty to be tasted; and since, as you have said, this is no longer obvious to her husband, she wants it to be tasted by the men whose eyes fall on her. Obviously she has a love of the other sex, not one of the other sex.'
This silenced the wives, but they went on murmuring, 'Is there any woman so devoid of vanity as not to want to be seen as beautiful to men too, as well as being so to her one and only husband?'
This was heard by some wives from heaven, who were beautiful because they were heavenly affections; and they confirmed the men's conclusions, but added, 'Let them just love their beauty and the way they adorn it for their husbands' sake and from their point of view.'
330. The second account:
I once heard a friendly discussion among some men regarding the feminine sex, as to whether any woman can love her husband if she is constantly in love with her own beauty, that is, if she loves herself on account of her appearance. The men agreed among themselves, first that women have a twofold beauty, one a natural beauty having to do with their face and figure, and the other a spiritual beauty having to do with their love and demeanor. They agreed also that these two kinds of beauty are very often separated in the natural world, but that they are always united in the spiritual world; for outward beauty in the spiritual world is an expression of a person's love and demeanor. It frequently happens after death therefore that homely women become beautiful, and beautiful women homely.
[2] As the men were discussing this, some wives came to them saying, "Permit us to join you; for what you are discussing you know from observation, but we know it from experience. Besides, as regards the love possessed by wives you know so little as to know scarcely anything. Are you aware that it is a matter of prudence inherent in the wisdom of wives to hide their love for their husbands and conceal it in the recesses of their bosom or at the center of their heart?"
The discussion recommenced, and the first conclusion drawn by the men was that every woman wishes to seem beautiful in appearance and beautiful in demeanor, because she is from birth the form of an affection of love and this affection is expressed in beauty. Therefore a woman who does not wish to be beautiful is not a woman who wishes to love and be loved, and so is not truly a woman.
To this the wives said, "A woman's beauty lies in her gentle tenderness and in her consequent keen sensitivity of feeling. That is what occasions a woman's love for a man and a man's love for a woman. This is perhaps something you do not understand."
[3] The men's second conclusion was that before marriage a woman wishes to be beautiful for men in general, but after marriage, if she is chaste, for her husband only and not for other men.
To this the wives said, "After a husband has tasted the natural beauty of his wife he no longer sees it, but sees instead her spiritual beauty and returns her love because of that. If he calls to mind her natural beauty, he does so with a different view of it."
[4] The third conclusion reached by the men in their discussion was that if a woman after marriage wishes to seem beautiful in the same way as before, she loves men in general and not her husband. "For a woman who loves herself on account of her beauty," they explained, "continually wishes to have her beauty tasted; and because it is no longer seen by her husband - as you women have said - she wishes to have it tasted by men who do see it. It is patent that such a woman has a love for the opposite sex in general and not a love for just one."
At this the wives were silent, though they murmured to themselves, "What woman is so without vanity that she does not wish to seem beautiful to men in general also at the same time as to her one and only?"
Listening to this were some wives from heaven, who were themselves beautiful, being forms of heavenly affection, and they confirmed the three conclusions reached by the men. But they added, "Let women love their beauty and its ornamentation, provided it is for the sake of their husbands and inspired by them."
330. The second story: Once I heard a friendly discussion among men that was about the feminine sex - whether any woman who constantly loves her beauty, that is, who loves herself on account of her looks, can love her man. First they agreed among themselves that women have two kinds of beauty, one kind the natural beauty of their face and body, and the other the spiritual beauty of their love and their manners. They also agreed that these two kinds of beauty are often separated in the natural world and are always together in the spiritual world, for there beauty is the form that love and manners take. So it often happens that deformed women become beautiful after death and beautiful women become disfigured.
While they were discussing this, some wives came and said, "Accept our presence, because knowledge teaches you what you are discussing, but experience teaches it to us. And also, you know so little about the love of wives that it's hardly anything.
Do you know that it is the good sense of wives' wisdom to keep their love for their husbands hidden deep in their breasts or within their hearts?"
Then a discussion began, and first the men concluded that every woman wants to be regarded as beautiful in face and beautiful in manners because by birth she is an inclination toward love, and the image of this inclination is beauty. So a woman who does not want to be beautiful is not a woman who wants to love and be loved, so she is not truly a woman.
To this the wives said, "A woman's beauty rests in her delicate tenderness and the exquisite sensation from it. A woman's love for a man and a man's love for a woman comes from that. Maybe you don't understand this."
The men's second conclusion was that before marriage a woman wants to be beautiful for men, but after marriage, if she is chaste, for one man and not for men.
To this the wives said, "After a husband has tasted his wife's natural beauty he no longer sees it, but sees her spiritual beauty and returns her love on account of it. And he recalls her natural beauty, but from a different point of view."
The third conclusion of their discussion was that if a woman wants to be regarded as beautiful after marriage the same as before it, she loves men and not a man, because a woman who loves herself for her beauty always wants her beauty to be tasted. And because her man no longer sees it, as you said, she turns to men who do notice it. Clearly this woman loves the other sex, not one of the other sex.
At this the women held their peace. Still, they murmured, "What woman is there so free of vanity that she doesn't want to be regarded as beautiful by men at the same time as by her one man?"
Some wives from heaven, who were beautiful because they were heavenly affections, heard these things, and they agreed with the men's three conclusions. But they added, "They only love their beauty and the embellishment of it on account of their husbands, and due to them."
330. The second Memorable Relation:
I once heard a pleasant discussion among men. It was about the female sex, as to whether any woman can love her husband if she constantly loves her own beauty, that is, loves herself on account of her form. They first agreed among themselves, that woman has a twofold beauty, one natural being the beauty of her face and body, and the other spiritual being the beauty of her love and manners. They also agreed that in the natural world these two kinds of beauty are frequently separated, while in the spiritual world they are always united, beauty in the latter world being the form of the love and manners. Therefore, after death it frequently happens that deformed women become beauties and beautiful women deformities.
[2] While the men were discussing this, there came some wives saying: "Admit of our presence, for with you it is knowledge which teaches you in the matter you are discussing, while with us it is experience. Moreover, you know so little about the love of wives that it is hardly anything. Do you know that it is the prudence of the wisdom of wives to conceal their love for their husbands in the inmost region of their bosom or deep in their heart?"
Then commenced a discussion, and the FIRST CONCLUSION made by the men was: "Every woman wishes to appear beautiful in face and beautiful in manners because she is born an affection of love, beauty being the form of this affection. Therefore, a woman who does not wish to be beautiful is not a woman who wishes to love and be loved, and so is not truly a woman." To this the wives said: "The beauty of woman dwells in her soft tenderness, and therefore in her exquisite sensation. Thence is the love of woman for man, and the love of man for woman. Perhaps you do not understand this?"
[3] The SECOND CONCLUSION made by the men was: "Before marriage, a woman wishes to be beautiful for men, but after marriage, if she be chaste, for one man only and not for men." To which the wives said, "After a husband has tasted the natural beauty of his wife, he no longer sees it but sees her spiritual beauty, and from this returns her love. He then recalls her natural beauty, but under another aspect."
[4] The THIRD CONCLUSION from their discussion was: "If after marriage a woman wishes to appear beautiful in the same way as before, she loves men and not one man; for a woman who loves herself from her own beauty, continually wishes that this her beauty be tasted; and since, as you have said, this beauty no longer appears before her husband, she wishes that it be tasted by men before whom it does appear. That such a woman has love of the sex and not love of one of the sex is evident." At this the wives were silent, yet they murmured the words, "What woman is so devoid of vanity as not to wish to appear beautiful to men while also appearing beautiful to her one man?"
Some wives from heaven, who were beautiful because they were heavenly affections, heard this discussion and confirmed the three conclusions made by the men, but added, "Only let wives love their beauty and its adornments for the sake of their husbands and from them."
330. II. I once listened to a good-natured discussion which some men were holding about the female sex: whether a woman who is in love with her own beauty, that is, who loves herself for her form, can love her husband. They agreed, first: that women have a twofold beauty, one natural which is of the face and body, and the other spiritual which is of the love and manners. They also agreed that the two kinds of beauty are quite often sundered in the natural world but invariably united in the spiritual world. For beauty in the spiritual world is the form of the love and manners; it very often happens after death, therefore, that ill-shaped women become beauties and beautiful women become deformed.
[2] While the men were discussing the subject, some wives came and said, "Permit us to attend, because knowledge teaches you what you are discussing, but experience teaches us. What you know about the love of wives, moreover, is so little, it is scarcely anything. Do you know that it is the prudence of a wife's wisdom to hide her love for her husband in her inmost breast and deep in her heart?"
The discussion began and the first conclusion on the part of the men was as follows: "Every woman wishes to appear beautiful in face and in her ways because she is born an affection of love, and beauty is the form of this affection. A woman who does not desire to be beautiful is therefore not a woman who wishes to love and be loved, and hence is not truly a woman."
To this the wives said, "Woman's beauty dwells in soft tenderness and therefore in exquisite sensibility. Thence is the love of woman for man and the love of man for woman. You probably do not understand this."
[3] The second conclusion of the men was this: "Before marriage a woman wishes to be beautiful for men, but after marriage, if she is chaste, only for one man and not for men."
To this the wives said, "After a husband has enjoyed his wife's natural beauty he no longer sees it, but sees her spiritual beauty and for this loves her anew; still, he recalls the natural but under a new aspect."
[4] The third conclusion from their discussion was as follows: "If after marriage a woman desires to appear beautiful in like manner as before, she loves men and not the one man. A woman loving herself for her own beauty is continually desirous that her beauty be enjoyed, and as this no longer appears to the one man, as you have said, she wishes it to be enjoyed by the men to whom it does appear. Obviously she has love for the sex, not love for one of the sex."
At this the wives fell silent. Still they murmured: "What woman is so free from vanity that she does not wish to seem beautiful to other men as well as to her only one?"
Some wives from heaven, who were beautiful because they were heavenly affections, had overheard, and they endorsed the three conclusions of the men, but added, "Only let women love their beauty and its charm for the sake of their husbands and from them."
330. The Second Relation: I once heard a pleasant discussion among men which was about the female sex: Whether any woman can love her husband who constantly loves her own beauty, that is who loves herself on account of her form. They agreed among themselves first: That women have a twofold beauty, one natural which is of the face and body, and another spiritual which is of love and manners. They also agreed that the two kinds of beauty are quite often divided in the natural world and that they are always united in the spiritual world; for in the spiritual world beauty is the form of love and manners, and therefore, after death it very often occurs that deformed women become beauties and beautiful women become deformed.
While the men were discussing the subject certain wives came and said, 'Permit us to be present, because knowledge teaches you the matter you are discussing, while experience teaches it to us. And you also know so little about the love of wives that it is scarcely anything. Do you know that it is the prudence of the wisdom of wives to conceal their love for their husbands in the inmost of their breast, or in the middle of their heart?'
The discussion began and the first conclusion by the men was, that: 'Every woman wishes to appear beautiful in face and beautiful in manners because she is born an affection of love, and beauty is the form of this affection; a woman therefore, who does not desire to be beautiful is not a woman who wishes to love and be loved, and thence is not truly a woman.'
To this the wives said, the beauty of woman dwells in soft tenderness, and therefore, in exquisite sensation. Thence is the love of woman for man, and the love of man for woman. Perhaps you do not understand this?'
The second conclusion of the men was, that: 'A woman before marriage wishes to be beautiful for men, but after marriage, if she be chaste, only for a man and not for men.'
To this the wives said, 'After a husband has tasted the natural beauty of the wife he no longer sees it, but sees her spiritual beauty and from this loves anew; and yet he recalls the natural but under a different aspect.'
The third conclusion from their discussion was, that: 'If after marriage a woman desires to appear beautiful in like manner as before it, she loves men and not the man; for a woman loving herself for her own beauty is continually in the wish that her beauty be tasted, and as this no longer appears to the man, as you have said, she wishes it may be tasted by the men before whom it does appear. It is clear that she has the love of the sex, and not the love of one of the sex.'
At this the wives were silent, but murmured these words, 'What woman is so free from vanity as not to wish to appear beautiful to men also, at the same time as to her only one?'
Several wives from heaven, who were beautiful because they were heavenly affections, heard these things, and confirmed the three conclusions of the men; but added, 'Let them love their own beauty and adornments only for the sake of their husbands, and from them.'
330. Alterum Memorabile. Quondam audivi ventilationem amaenam inter 1Viros, quae erat de Sexu foeminino, num aliqua Mulier possit amare suum Virum, quae constanter amat suam pulchritudinem, hoc est, quae amat se ex sua forma; convenerunt inter se primum, quod foeminis duplex pulchritudo sit, una naturalis, quae est faciei et corporis, et altera spiritualis quae est amoris et morum; convenerunt etiam, quod binae illae Pulchritudines saepius sint divisae in Mundo naturali, et quod semper sint unitae in Mundo spirituali, nam in hoc Mundo pulchritudo est forma amoris et morum, quare post mortem saepius contingit, quod Mulieres deformes fiant pulchritudines, ac Mulieres pulchrae fiant deformitates.
[2] Cum Viri hoc ventilabant, venerunt aliquae Uxores, et dixerunt, "admittite nostram praesentiam, quia vos id quod ventilatis, docet scientia, nos autem id docet experientia; et quoque tam parum scitis de Amore uxorum, ut vix aliquid; num scitis, quod prudentia sapientiae uxorum sit, amorem suum ad maritos in intimo pectoris sui, aut in medio cordis sui, recondere." Inchoabatur Ventilatio, et Primum Conclusum a Viris erat, quod omnis foemina velit pulchra facie et pulchra moribus videri, quia nata est affectio amoris, et forma hujus affectionis 2est Pulchritudo, quare foemina quae non vult pulchra esse, non est foemina quae vult amare et amari, et inde non vere foemina. Ad haec uxores dixerunt, "pulchritudo foeminae habitat in molli teneritate, et inde in exquisita sensatione; inde est amor foeminae ad virum, et amor viri ad foeminam; vos forte hoc non intelligitis."
[3] Alterum Conclusum Virorum erat, quod foemina ante conjugium velit pulchra esse pro viris, at post conjugium, si casta est, pro solo Viro, et non pro viris. Ad hoc dixerunt uxores, "Maritus postquam libaverat pulchritudinem naturalem uxoris, non videt illam amplius, sed videt ejus pulchritudinem spiritualem, et ex hac redamat, ac revocat naturalem, sed sub alia specie."
[4] Conclusum Tertium ventilationis illorum erat, quod si foemina post conjugium vult similiter pulchra videri, sicut ante illud, amet viros 3et non virum, quia foemina se amans ex pulchritudine sua, continue vult ut pulchritudo sua libetur, "et quia haec non amplius apparet viro, ut dixistis, vult ut a viris, coram quibus apparet; quod huic sit amor sexus, et non amor unius ex sexu, patet;" ad haec conticuerunt uxores, murmurabant tamen haec, "quae mulier datur ita expers vanitatis, ut non velit pulchra videri etiam viris, simul dum suo unico." Audiebant haec aliquae Uxores e Coelo, quae erant pulchrae, quia affectiones coelestes, et tria Conclusa virorum confirmabant; sed addiderunt, "modo ament suam pulchritudinem et ejus ornatus, propter suos maritos, et ab illis."
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: inrer
2. Prima editio: affectioniis
3. Prima editio: vivos