331、这三个妻子很恼火，因为男人们的这三个结论得到天上妻子们的肯定。她们对男人们说：“你们已经探讨了因自己的美貌而爱自己的女人是否爱自己的丈夫；现在我们反过来讨论一下，因自己的聪明而爱自己的男人是否爱自己的妻子。请专心听。”然后，她们得出第一个结论：“没有哪个妻子爱自己的丈夫是因他的外表，而是因他在工作和行为中所展示的聪明才智。因此，你们要知道，妻子将自己与男人的聪明相联结，从而与他在一起。一个男人若因自己的聪明而爱自己，就会把他的爱从妻子那里收回来归给自己，这会导致分离而不是联结。另外，爱自己的聪明就是凭自己变得智慧，这是疯狂；所以那就是爱自己的愚蠢。”对此，男人们说：“说不定妻子将自己与丈夫的性能力相联结。”妻子们闻言笑着说：“只要男人出于聪明爱自己的妻子，性能力就不缺乏。但是，如果他出于愚蠢或疯狂爱自己的妻子，性能力就缺乏。聪明在于只爱自己的妻子，这样的爱不缺乏性能力。相反，愚蠢或疯狂在于不爱自己的妻子，却爱整个异性，这样的爱才缺乏性能力。你们明白吗？”
她们的第二个结论是：“我们女人生来就是对男人聪明的爱。因此，如果男人爱自己的聪明，这聪明就无法与它居于妻子里面的真爱联结。如果丈夫的聪明不与它居于妻子里面的真爱联结，骄傲就会使聪明变为愚蠢或疯狂，并且婚姻之爱变成冷淡。哪个女人会将自己的爱情与冷淡联在一起呢？哪个男人会将他骄傲的愚蠢或疯狂与对聪明的爱联在一起呢？”“但是，”男人们说，“男人若不夸大自己的聪明，如何得到妻子的尊重呢？”“凭着爱，”妻子们回答，“因为爱会尊重。尊重不会与爱分离，但爱会与尊重分离。”
最后，她们得出的第三个结论是：“在你们男人看来，你们似乎在爱着自己的妻子。你们没有看出，其实你们在被自己的妻子爱着，然后你们反过来爱她们；你们的聪明是这爱的容器。因此，如果你们爱自己里面的聪明，这聪明就变成你们自己的爱之容器了；自我之爱容不下任何平等，所以永远不可能变成婚姻之爱。相反，只要占据上风，它依旧是淫乱的。”闻听此言，男人们沉默了。然而，他们小声说：“什么是婚姻之爱？”天上的一些丈夫听见这次讨论，从天上肯定了妻子们得出的这三个结论。
331、其中有三个女人对男人们所得出的结论感到不满。她们对男人说：“你们谈到女人是爱自己的美还是爱自己的丈夫。我们也要谈谈男人若爱自己的才智，他是否也能爱他的妻子。”
她们得出第一个结论：“没有任何妻子是因为丈夫的外表而爱他，而是因为他们在工作中表现出来的才智而爱他。因此，妻子是与男人的才智相结合。所以，若男人因为自己的才智而爱他自己，男人就会将才智从妻子那里夺回来，从而破坏彼此的结合。另外，爱自己的才智就是从自己身上寻找智慧这是不理智的，是对非理性的爱。”
在此，男人们说：“也许女人是与丈夫的阳刚之气相结合。”
女人笑道：“男人若明智的爱他的妻子，他就不会缺乏阳刚之气。若在非理性的前提下，则会丧失他的阳刚之气。爱自己的妻子是才智的表现。这样的爱不会缺乏阳刚之气，但若在爱妻子的同时也爱其它的异性，那么，这种爱就会缺乏阳刚之气。你们当然会知道这点。”
女人们第二点结论是：“女人生来是爱男人的智慧的。因此，若男人爱他们自己的才智，他们的才智就不能与它的存在于妻子中的真正的爱相统一。若男人的才智不能与妻子中的对才智的真正的爱相统一，他的才智就会变得非理性。婚姻之爱就会在它身上变冷。女人怎么能与冷却了的爱相结合呢？男人怎么能将非理性与才智相结合呢？”
此后，男人说：“若男人不吹捧自己的才智，女人怎么会爱我们呢？”
妻子们回答：“女人因为爱而会爱男人，爱崇尚它所爱的东西。尊崇总是与爱相伴，尽管爱不一定总是与尊崇同在。”
之后，女人们得出第三个结论：“对你们来说，你们认为你们是爱妻子的，但是你们不知道你们是被妻子所爱的，而你们是因此而爱妻子。你们也不知道，妻子所爱的是你们的才智。所以若你们自己爱自己的才智，它就会成为你们的爱的目标，也就是对自己的爱。它永远也不会变成婚姻之爱，而只会是淫爱。”
此时，男人们沉默了。他们低声说：“婚姻之爱是什么？”
天国中的一些丈夫们听到这些并且肯定了女人们的结论。
331. The three wives were annoyed that the men's three conclusions had been confirmed by what the wives from heaven had said. 'You have enquired,' they said to the men, 'whether a woman who loves herself for her beauty loves her husband. We in our turn shall debate whether a man who loves himself for his intelligence can love his wife. Stay and listen.'
The first conclusion they reached was, 'Every wife loves her husband not for his face but for his intelligence shown in his duties and behaviour. You may be sure therefore that a wife unites herself with her husband's intelligence, and so with him. If therefore a man loves himself for his intelligence, he withdraws this from his wife into himself, which causes division, not union. Moreover, to love one's own intelligence is to be wise of oneself, and this is to be crazy; so it is loving ones own folly.'
To this the men said, 'Perhaps a wife unites herself with her husband's virility?' The wives laughed at this and said, 'There is no lack of virility when a husband loves his wife from his intelligence, but there is when he does from his folly. Intelligence is loving none but one's wife, a love not lacking in virility. But folly is loving not one's wife, but the whole sex, and this love does lack virility. Do you grasp this?'
[2] Their second conclusion was, 'We women are designed by birth to be the love of our husbands' intelligence. If therefore men love their own intelligence, this cannot be united with its true love, which resides with the wife. And if the husband's intelligence is not united with its true love residing with the wife, pride turns intelligence into folly, and conjugial love becomes coldness. Can any woman unite her love with coldness? And can any man unite the folly of his pride with the love of intelligence?'
'But,' said the men, 'how is a man to be respected by his wife, if he does not exaggerate his intelligence?' 'By love,' replied the wives, 'because love respects. Respect cannot be separated from love, but love can be from respect.'
[3] Finally they reached this third conclusion. 'It seems as if you love your wives, and you do not see that you are loved by them and so you love them in return, and your intelligence is a receiver. So if you love the intelligence in yourselves, it becomes a receiver for your own love, and self-love, not tolerating any equal, can never become conjugial, but so long as it lasts, it remains scortatory.'
This silenced the men, yet they went on murmuring, 'What is conjugial love?' Some husbands in heaven heard this, and they confirmed from there the three conclusions reached by the wives.
331. Three of the wives were annoyed that the men's three conclusions were confirmed by wives from heaven, and they said to the men, "You have inquired into whether a woman loves her husband if she loves herself on account of her beauty. Therefore we in turn will now consider whether a man can love his wife if he loves himself on account of his intelligence. Come and listen."
They then formed as their first conclusion the following: "No wife loves her husband on account of his appearance, but on account of the intelligence he displays in his occupation and conduct. Be advised, therefore, that a wife unites herself with a man's intelligence, and thus with the man. So then, if a man loves himself on account of his intelligence, he draws it back from his wife to himself, which results in disunion instead of union. Furthermore, to love one's own intelligence is to look to oneself for wisdom, which is to be irrational; consequently it is to love one's own irrationality."
To this the men said, "Perhaps the wife unites herself with her husband's virility."
The wives laughed at this, saying, "A man does not lack virility as long as he loves his wife in a condition of intelligence; but he loses it if he does so in a condition of irrationality. It is a mark of intelligence to love only one's wife, and such a love does not lack virility; but it is a mark of irrationality to love in preference to one's wife the opposite sex in general, and such a love does lack virility. Surely you know this."
[2] Their second conclusion was as follows: "We women come by birth into a love for the intelligence of men. Consequently if men themselves love their own intelligence, their intelligence cannot be united with its proper true love which is found in a wife; and if a man's intelligence is not united with its proper true love which is found in a wife, his intelligence becomes irrational as a result of conceit, and conjugial love in him turns cold. Now what woman can unite her love to a love that is cold? And what man can unite the irrationality of his conceit to a love for intelligence?"
However the men said, "On what ground does a man have honor from his wife if he does not extol his intelligence?"
But the wives replied, "On the ground of love, because love esteems what it loves. Esteem always accompanies love, though love may not always accompany esteem."
[3] After that they formed as their third conclusion the following: "To you it seems as though you love your wives, but you do not see that you are loved by your wives and so love them in return. Nor do you see that your intelligence is the object of their love. So then, if you yourselves love your intelligence in you, it becomes the object of your love; and love of oneself, because it will not endure an equal, never becomes conjugial love. To the contrary, as long as it prevails it remains licentious."
At this the men were silent; yet they murmured to themselves, "What then is conjugial love?"
Listening to this were some husbands in heaven, and they confirmed from there the three conclusions reached by the wives.
331. Indignant that the wives from heaven confirmed the men's three conclusions, the three wives said to the men, "You've asked if a woman who loves herself on account of her beauty loves her man. In turn we'll discuss whether a man who loves himself on account of his intelligence can love his wife. Come and listen."
And they came to their first conclusion. "Every wife loves her man not for his face, but for the intelligence in his duty and behavior. Be aware that a wife joins herself with the man's intelligence, and in this way with the man. So if a man loves himself for his intelligence, he withholds his intelligence from his wife and keeps it to himself. This makes for separation and not union.
Besides, for him to love his intelligence is to be wise by himself, and this is foolish, so it's loving his folly."
To this the men said, "Maybe a wife unites herself with a man's potency."
The wives laughed at this, saying, "Potency isn't lacking while a man loves his wife out of intelligence, but it fails if he loves her out of folly. Intelligence is to love only one wife, and this love doesn't lack potency. But folly is to love not a wife but the whole female sex, and potency does desert this love. Do you grasp this?"
The second conclusion was, "We women are born into love of men's intelligence. So if men love their own intelligence, the intelligence can't unite with the real love of it, which a wife has.
And if a man's intelligence doesn't unite with the real love of it, which a wife has, the intelligence becomes folly out of contempt, and married love becomes cold. So what woman can unite her love with coldness? And what man can unite the insanity of contempt with a love of intelligence?"
But the men said, "What honor does a man have from his wife if he doesn't set a high value on his intelligence?"
But the wives answered, "From love. Because love honors.
Honor can't be separated from love, but love can be separated from honor."
Then they drew this third conclusion. "You seem to love your wives, and you don't see that you love from your wives so you love them back. And your intelligence is a receptacle. So if you love your intelligence in yourselves, it makes you the receptacle of your own love. And self - love won't stand for a rival, so it never becomes married love, but as long as it lasts it remains a love of fornication."
At these things the men held their peace. Still, they muttered, "What's married love?"
Some husbands in heaven heard this. They agreed with the wives' three conclusions.
331. The three wives, indignant that the three conclusions made by the men had been confirmed by wives from heaven said to the men: "You have inquired whether a woman who loves herself from her own beauty loves her husband; and now we in turn will discuss whether a man who loves himself from his own intelligence can love his wife. Pay attention and listen."
They then made the FIRST CONCLUSION: No wife loves her husband from his face but from his intelligence in his office and in his behavior. Know, therefore, that a wife unites herself with the intelligence of her man, and thus with the man. Therefore, if a man loves himself from his own intelligence, he draws his love to himself and away from his wife, whence comes disunion and not union. Moreover, to love one's own intelligence is to be wise from self, and since this is insane, it is to love one's own insanity." To this the men said: "Perhaps the wife unites herself with the man's potency;" whereupon the wives laughed, saying, "Potency is not lacking so long as a man loves his wife from intelligence, but if from insanity, it is lacking. Intelligence consists in loving the wife only, and this love has no lack of potency; but insanity consists in loving, not the wife, but the sex, and this love fails in potency. Do you comprehend?"
[2]The SECOND CONCLUSION was: We women are born into the love of the intelligence of men. Wherefore, if men love their own intelligence, that intelligence cannot be united with its genuine love, which dwells in the wife. And if the intelligence of the man is not united with its own genuine love, which dwells in the wife, then, from pride, that intelligence becomes insanity and conjugial love becomes cold; and what woman can unite her love with cold? and what man can unite the insanity of his pride with the love of intelligence? "But," said the men, "from what does a man have honor from his wife if he does not magnify his own intelligence?" and the wives answered, "From love, it being love that honors. Honor cannot be separated from love, but love can be separated from honor."
[3] They then made the THIRD CONCLUSION, as follows: To you men it seems as if you love your wives. You do not see that it is you who are loved by your wives and that you then return their love; also that your intelligence is the receptacle thereof. If therefore you love your intelligence in yourselves, that intelligence becomes the receptacle of your own love; and the love of what is one's own, being unable to tolerate an equal, never becomes conjugial, but so long as it prevails, it remains scortatory." At this the men were silent, but they muttered, "What is conjugial love?"
Certain husbands in heaven heard this discussion and from there they confirmed the three conclusions made by the wives.
331. The three wives, indignant that the three conclusions of the men had been endorsed by the wives from heaven, said to the men, "You have asked whether a woman who loves herself for her beauty loves her husband. Now we for our part will consider whether a man who loves himself for his intelligence can love his wife. Attend and hear." They came to this first conclusion: "No wife loves her husband for his appearance, but for his intelligence in his affairs and in his general conduct. Know therefore that the wife unites herself with the man's intelligence and so with the man. If then a man loves himself for his intelligence, he withdraws his love from his wife to himself, whence comes disunion and not union. Moreover, to love his own intelligence is to be wise of himself, and as this is to be insane, it amounts to loving his insanity."
To this the men replied: "Perhaps a wife unites herself with the man's ability." At this the wives laughed, saying, "Ability is not lacking so long as the man loves the wife from intelligence, but it is lacking if he loves from insanity. Intelligence is to love the wife only and this love does not lack ability; but to love, not the wife, but the sex, is insanity, and this love lacks ability. Do you comprehend this?"
[2] The second conclusion was: "We women are born into love of the masculine intelligence. If, then, men themselves love their intelligence, it cannot be united with the genuine love for it which is with the wife. And if the man's intelligence is not united with its own genuine love which is with the wife, it becomes insanity from pride, and marital love turns cold. What woman can unite her love with cold? And what man can unite the insanity of his pride with the love of intelligence?"
"But," said the men, "whence has a man honor from his wife if he does not prize his own intelligence?" The wives answered, "From love; for love pays honor. Honor cannot be severed from love; but love can be severed from honor."
[3] Afterwards they came to this third conclusion: "You seem to love your wives, and do not see that you are loved by your wives and that you love in return, and that your intelligence is the receptacle. If then you yourselves love your own intelligence, that becomes the receptacle of your love; and the love of one's self, tolerating no equal, never becomes marital love, but as long as it prevails, remains scortatory."
At this the men were silent, but murmured, "What is marital love?"
Certain husbands in heaven heard all this and from heaven endorsed the three conclusions of the wives.
331. The three wives, indignant that the three conclusions of the men had been confirmed by the wives from heaven, said to the men, 'You have asked whether a woman who loves herself for her own beauty loves her husband. We now on the other hand will consider whether a man who loves himself for his own intelligence can love his wife. Be present and hear.' And they drew this first conclusion: 'No wife loves her husband for his face, but for the intelligence in his employment and in his manners. Know therefore, that the wife unites herself with the intelligence of the man, and thus with the man. If then a man loves himself for his own intelligence he withdraws his love from his wife to himself, whence comes disunion and not union. Moreover, to love his own intelligence is to be wise of himself, and this is to be insane, and is therefore, to love his own insanity.'
To this the men responded: 'Perhaps the wife unites herself with the ability of the man.' The wives laughed at this, saying, 'Ability is not wanting so long as the man loves the wife from intelligence, but it is wanting if he loves from insanity. Intelligence is to love the wife only and to this love ability is not wanting; but it is insanity to love, not the wife, but the sex. You comprehend this?'
The second conclusion was: 'We women are born into the love of the intelligence of men. If then men love their own proper intelligence, the intelligence cannot be united with its genuine love, which is with the wife. And if the intelligence of the man is not united with its own genuine love, which is with the wife, his intelligence becomes insanity from pride, and conjugial love becomes cold. What woman then can unite her love with cold? And what man can unite the insanity of his pride with the love of intelligence?'
'But,' said the men, 'whence has a man honor from his wife, if he does not magnify his own intelligence?' The wives answered, 'From love; for love honors. Honor cannot be separated from love; but love can be from honor.'
Afterwards they came to this third conclusion: 'You seem as if you love your wives, and do not see that you are loved by your wives, and thus that you love in return, and that your intelligence is the receptacle. If then you love your own intelligence within you that becomes the receptacle of your love; and the love of one's own, because it does not tolerate an equal, never becomes conjugial love, but so long as it prevails, it remains scortatory.'
At this the men were silent, but murmured, 'What is conjugial love?'
Certain husbands in heaven heard these things and thence confirmed the three conclusions of the wives.
331. Tres illae uxores indignatae, quod confirmata sint ex uxoribus e Coelo tria Conclusa virorum, dixerunt ad viros, "vos inquisivistis, num mulier, quae amat se ex pulchritudine sua, amet suum virum; nos vice versa ideo ventilabimus, num vir, qui se ex intelligentia sua amat, possit amare suam uxorem; adeste et audite;" et fecerunt Primum Conclusum, "Omnis uxor non amat virum suum ex facie, sed ex intelligentia in ejus officio et moribus; scitote itaque quod uxor uniat se cum Intelligentia viri, et sic cum Viro, quare vir si amat se ex sua intelligentia, retrahit illam ab Uxore in se, unde fit disunio et non unio; insuper amare suam intelligentiam, est sapere ex se, et hoc est insanire, quare est amare suam insaniam." Ad haec viri dixerunt, "forte uxor se unit cum virtute viri;" ad haec riserunt uxores, dicentes, "virtus non deficit, dum vir amat uxorem ex intelligentia, at deficit si ex insania; intelligentia est amare solam uxorem, et huic amori non deficit virtus, at insania est non amare uxorem, sed sexum, et huic amori deficit virtus; comprehenditis hoc."
[2] Alterum Conclusum fuit, 1"nos foeminae nascimur in amorem intelligentiae virorum, quare si viri amant suam propriam intelligentiam, non potest intelligentia uniri cum suo genuino amore, qui est apud uxorem; et si intelligentia viri non unitur cum suo genuino amore, qui est apud uxorem, intelligentia fit insania ex fastu, et amor conjugialis fit frigus; quae ergo foemina potest unire amorem suum frigori, et quis vir potest unire insaniam fastus sui, amori intelligentiae." At dixerunt viri, "unde viro honor ab uxore, nisi magnifaciat intelligentiam suam;" sed responderunt uxores, "ex amore, quia Amor honorat; non potest honor separari ab amore, sed potest amor ab honore."
[3] Postea fecerunt Tertium Conclusum, hoc: 2"videmini sicut vos ametis uxores, et non videtis quod ab uxoribus amemini, et vos sic redametis; et quod intelligentia vestra sit receptaculum; si ergo amatis intelligentiam vestram in vobis, fit illa receptaculum vestri amoris, et amor proprii, quia non sustinet parem, nusquam fit conjugialis, sed quamdiu valet, tamdiu manet scortatorius;" ad haec viri conticuerunt; murmurabant tamen, "quid Amor conjugialis." Audiebant illa aliqui Mariti in Coelo, et tria Conclusa uxorum inde confirmabant.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: fuit;
2. Prima editio: hoc;