1628. Certain spirits, out of an ingrained curiosity, were eager to learn still more of the matters revealed to me, but they had found out that if they longed to learn them, they were not allowed to. For this reason, in order to learn them they were trying to keep thinking that they did not want to know them. This attempt was at once perceived, and they were told that in this way they would not come to know them, because they were using trickery by pretending not to want to know, as they were well aware.
The spirits affirmed this, saying that they are trying in this way to find out more. So I told them that they should not do this, but should be without desire, and then it would be left to the Lord to give in His good pleasure. This they did attempt, but they were trying to do so from their own power, which was still an artifice and their own endeavor or will, as they also affirmed because this was plainly visible by a spiritual mental image.
When they asked how they should go about it, they were told that they should not do anything from their own power, but act without introspection. But because they were unable to do this, they tried to be devoid of all effort, abandoning all will power so as to passively await [activation]. But when they tried to do this, again they were told that it was not genuine to abandon themselves to effortlessness, so they said that they could not possibly learn how to behave, for whatever they do in accordance with what has been commanded, is still not genuine. The reason is that then they are not being led by the Lord, but wanting to lead themselves, and wanting to endeavor, or will, and to act from their own power. Therefore, they should know that all their effort should be the Lord's, so that nothing is theirs. So when they endeavor from their own power, it is nothing but sin, which the Lord does not support.
To be guided and to live from the Lord is therefore something that neither man nor spirit is aware of, so they suppose such a life is not life, when yet it is the real life. While one should not endeavor from one's own power, neither should one let oneself give up all effort. These are very inward matters, which are so difficult to believe, because they are neither understood, nor perceived.
1628. Certain spirits, from inbred curiosity, were desirous of knowing still more in respect to things revealed to me, and they knew if they were very solicitous on this head the knowledge would not be granted them; wherefore, in order that they might know, they attempted to think that they did not wish to know, which attempt was immediately perceived, and it was said to them that in this way they could not attain their object, as they had made use of stratagem in pretending that they did not wish to know. The spirits affirmed [the fact], saying that they made the attempt that they might gain the knowledge; wherefore, it was said to them that they should not act in this manner, but should be without desire, and thus leave the matter to the Lord to grant what they wished, as it should seem good to Him. This they then essayed to do, but they made the attempt from themselves; and inasmuch as the effort to leave the matter to the Lord was of themselves from themselves, and thus the will and the endeavor was a something artificial, which they affirmed, as it was manifestly perceived by a spiritual idea, they therefore inquired how they should act. It was replied that they should not do anything from themselves, thus should act without reflection upon themselves; and as they could not do this, they were disposed to renounce all effort, resigning themselves without any will at all, thus sinking into a state of passive expectation. But when they would fain do this, it was said again that even this was not a genuine act, thus to resign themselves up without any effort. But they replied that in this way they could never know how they ought to act, for whatever they did, still, according to what was enjoined, there was no genuine [obedience]. But the reason is, that they are not led by the Lord, but wish to lead themselves, and to endeavor, or to will, or to act from themselves; wherefore they ought to know that their every endeavor should be of the Lord, and nothing of themselves. Accordingly, whenever they made attempts from themselves, it was nothing but sin, which the Lord did not favor. To be actuated, therefore, and to live from the Lord, is something which neither man nor spirit [duly] perceives, and for this reason he is prone to imagine that such a life is no life at all, whereas it is the veriest life itself, although one ought neither to make efforts from himself, nor yet relapse into apathy without attempting anything. These things are of a more interior nature, and therefore difficult of belief, because they are neither understood nor perceived.
1628. Quidam spiritus, ex insita curiositate, volebant adhuc plura scire, in iis quae mihi revelata sunt, et noverant, quod si ea desiderarent, non iis dabatur scire, quare ut scirent, conabantur ita cogitare, quod non vellent scire, qui conatus illico percipiebatur, ac iis dicebatur, quod sic non possent scire, quia arte ista utuntur, quod simulent se non velle scire, ut sciant: spiritus affirmabant, dicentes, quod ita conentur, ut plura scire possint, quare dictum iis, quod non ita agerent, sed quod absque cupidine essent, et sic relinqueretur Domino, dare, quando Ipsi beneplacet, quod etiam tentabant, seu conabantur ex se, sed quia hoc quoque eorum erat-quod 1
ideo relinquerent Domino, ex semet, quod usque artificiale et eorum conatus seu voluntas esset, quod etiam affirmabant, quia idea spirituali hoc manifeste percipiebatur-quaerebantque 2
quomodo agerent, dictum est, quod non ex semet, quicquam facerent, sic absque reflexione in se, quod quia non potuere, volebant esse absque omni conatu, se relinquentes absque ulla voluntate, sic ut passive exspectarent; sed hoc quum vellent, etiam dictum, quod hoc non genuinum esset, sic se relinquere absque ullo conatu, ita dicebant, quod nusquam scire potuerint, quomodo agerent, nam quicquid agunt, secundum ea, quae mandata sunt, usque non est genuinum; quia sic non ducuntur a Domino, sed semet velint ducere, et ex semet conari, seu velle, et agere; quare scire debebant, quod omnis eorum conatus esse debeat Domini, sic ut nihil eorum sit, quare, quum conantur ex se, nihil est, nisi peccatum, cui Dominus non favet: est itaque agi et vivere a Domino, aliquid quod homo et spiritus non percipit, quare putat, quod talis vita, nulla vita sit, cum tamen est ipsa vita, tametsi nihil ex semet conari, nec se relinquere debeat, ut nihil conetur; talia sunt intimiora, quae tam aegre creduntur, quia nec intelliguntur, nec percipiuntur.
Footnotes:
1. The Manuscript has erat, quod
2. The Manuscript has percipiebatur; quaerebantque