256、⒇冷淡的偶然因素也有很多，其中第一个是源于不断被允许的平淡。源于不断被允许的平淡是冷淡的偶然因素，因为这是那些对婚姻及其妻子怀有淫秽想法之人，而非那些对婚姻怀有神圣的尊重、对妻子充满信任之人的情形。源于不断被允许的平淡还使喜乐变得冷漠、甚至乏味，这从游戏、表演、音乐会、舞蹈、宴会和其它类似娱乐活动明显看出来；它们本身因活跃我们的生活，故是令人愉悦的。夫妻同居共眠的情形差不多也是这样。那些没有将不贞洁的两性情爱从对彼此的爱中逐出之人，在能力缺乏的情况下对着源于不断被允许的平淡胡思乱想时，尤其如此。不言而喻，对这种人来说，这种平淡就是冷淡的一个因素。它之所以被称为偶然因素，是因为它是内在冷淡的一个附加因素，并作为一个理由支持内在冷淡。此外，为了消除由这种因素所造成的冷淡，一些妻子出于天生的谨慎，通过各种抵触使得可允许的事变得不可允许。然而，那些怀着贞洁判断妻子的人则完全不同。因此，在天使当中，源于不断被允许的平淡是其灵魂快乐的巅峰，并作为一种手段而服务于他们的婚姻之爱。因为她们不断享受这爱的快乐，并照着丈夫心无挂虑，因而照着他们判断的喜悦而享受极乐。
256、（20）偶然性的造成分居的原因有很多，其中首先是婚姻关系是平淡无味的。婚姻中的故意的平淡会使男人对婚姻及其妻子有份外之念，但在那些视婚姻为神圣的并且保护妻子的人身上则不然。
双方都不做努力而造成的平淡会使原本有趣的活动也变得无味，比如象戏剧、音乐会、舞蹈等等。
在家庭关系及夫妇间的亲密性方面也同样。尤其是那些还没有从彼此的爱中将对异性的爱拒之于外时，这时他们会对平淡的生活产生异想，这是他们产生冷漠状态的原因，我们称其为意外的原因是因为它是在他们固有的冷漠中发展起来的，并成为他们的一种理由。
然而在正确看待妻子的人中却不然，天使们也不然。对他们来讲，平淡是他们的灵魂的快乐，其中包含着他们的婚姻之爱，因为他们在不断地感受着那种爱的快乐。
256. (xx) There are also many accidental reasons for coldness, the first of which is familiarity due to continual indulgence.
Familiarity due to continual indulgence is an accidental reason for coldness, because it is what happens to those whose thoughts about marriage and their wives are lascivious, but not to those who have a holy respect for marriage and confidence in their wives. Familiarity due to continual indulgence also causes joys to become matters of indifference and even boring, as is obvious from games and shows, musical concerts, dances, feasts and such like; these are essentially sweet, because they enliven our lives. It is much the same with married couples living and sleeping together, especially in the case of those who have failed to banish unchaste sexual love from their love for each other, and when they think about the familiarity due to continual indulgence, but to no purpose in the absence of opportunity. It is self-evident that these people find that familiarity is a reason for coldness.
This is called accidental, because it is an additional cause for inherent coldness, and supports it as providing a motive. In order to get rid of the coldness this causes, wives have the innate prudence to prevent excessive indulgence by various expressions of repugnance. But it is utterly different in the case of those whose judgment of their wives is chaste. Among the angels therefore familiarity from continual indulgence is the height of the soul's delight, serving as a vehicle for their conjugial love. For they enjoy the pleasure of that love continually, and the extreme pleasures in so far as their minds are not distracted from attention by worries, and so as their husband's judgment dictates.
256. 20. Incidental reasons for coldness are also many; and of these, the first is ordinariness from being continually allowed. Ordinariness from being continually allowed is an incidental reason for coldness because it develops as an additional one in people who think of marriage and of their wives in a lascivious manner. Not, however, in those who think reverently of marriage and protectively of their wives.
The fact that ordinariness from being continually allowed may cause even sources of enjoyment to become matters of indifference and also then boredom - this is something that is apparent in the case of plays and shows, musical concerts, dances, banquets, and other like pleasures - pleasures which in themselves are treats, because they are recreational.
It is similar with the domestic relations and intimacies between married partners. Especially is it the case between partners who have not removed an unchaste love for the opposite sex from their love for each other, and when in the absence of ability they think nonsensically about its ordinariness from being continually allowed. It is evident in itself that for them this ordinariness is then reason for coldness. We call it an incidental reason, because it arises in addition to their intrinsic coldness as though it were the reason and lends support to it as an explanation. To turn aside coldness arising on this account as well, some wives are prompted by the prudence innate in them to make the allowable seem not allowable by various shows of resistance.
It is altogether different, however, in the case of people who judge chastely of their wives. So it is that among angels, ordinariness from being continually allowed is the very delight of their soul and the containing medium of their conjugial love. For they experience the delight of that love continually, and its ultimate delights according as their minds are ready, uninterrupted by cares, thus according to the prudent good pleasure of the husbands.
256. 20. There are also many II contingent" causes of coldness, and one is sex being commonplace because it is always allowed. This is a contingent cause of coldness because it happens to people who think about marriage and a wife lasciviously but not to those who think of marriage in a holy way and have confidence in a wife. Pleasures become commonplace and tiresome when overdone, as you can see from games and theater, concerts, dances, banquets, and similar enjoyments that in themselves are pleasant because they are refreshing. It is the same with living together and intercourse between married partners - especially those who have not taken the unchaste love of the other sex out of their love for each other, and when they lose their sexual ability they think foolishly that sex is commonplace because it is continually allowed. It goes without saying that this is a cause of coldness for such a man. As a cause it is contingent, because it is in addition to coldness - the basic cause - and becomes one more reason. Wives have an inborn prudence, and they can put their husbands off in various ways to prevent the coldness caused in this way.
However, it is totally different with those who have a chaste opinion of their wives. For sexual love to be continually allowed and commonplace is precisely the delight of an angel's soul, and it is the container of their married love. For they enjoy the pleasure of that love continually and the ultimate activity of it whenever the husband's mind is present and free of care - at the pleasure of his judgment.
256. XX. THAT THERE ARE ALSO MANY ACCIDENTAL CAUSES OF COLD; AND OF THESE THE FIRST IS COMMONNESS FROM BEING CONTINUALLY ALLOWED. That commonness from being continually allowed is an accidental cause of cold is because this is the case with those who think of marriage and of the wife lasciviously, but not with those who think of marriage in a holy way and of the wife with confidence. That from commonness arising from a thing being continually allowed, joys become indifferent and also wearisome, is manifest from games and theatrical representations, from concerts, dances, banquets, and other like enjoyments, which in themselves are sweet pleasures because enlivening. The same is the case with the cohabitations and consociations between married partners, especially between those who have not removed the unchaste love of the sex from their love for each other, and, in the absence of ability, think vain things concerning its being common because continually allowed. That with such men this commonness is a cause of cold, is self-evident. It is called an accidental cause because it is a cause in addition to the intrinsic cold, and supports it as a reason. Moreover, it is for the removing of the cold arising from this cause that wives, from the prudence implanted in them, make that which is allowed not allowed, and this by oppositions. It is wholly different, however, in the case of those who judge chastely of their wives. Therefore, with angels, commonness from being continually allowed is the very delight of their soul and the containant of their conjugial love; for they are in the delight of that love continually, and are in its ultimates according to the presence of the minds of husbands uninterrupted by cares, thus at the good pleasure of their judgment.
256. (xx) Accessory causes of cold are also many; and the first of them is commonness from constant access. We call commonness from constant access an accessory cause because it is a supplemental cause of cold with such as think lasciviously of marriage and wife, not, however, with those who think holily of marriage and confidently of the wife. Through commonness from being habitual, all kinds of joys become indifferent and tiresome, as is plain from games, spectacles, concerts, dances, banquets, and like enjoyments, which in themselves are charming and enlivening. The like happens to cohabitation and intimacy between partners, especially between those who have not removed unchaste love of the sex from their love for each other, and when in want of ability they think idly of the commonness from constant access. It is self-evident that to them this commonness is a cause of cold. It is called an accessory cause because it supplements and to the reason reenforces intrinsic cold. To remove the cold so arising, wives from a prudence implanted in them make the allowed unallowed by various reluctances. But the case is quite otherwise with those who judge chastely of their wives. And with angels commonness from being usually allowed is delight of the soul and a containant of their marital love. For they are continually in the enjoyment of this love, and in ultimates according to the advertence of their minds not interrupted by cares, thus in the good judgment of the husbands.
256. (20) That adventitious causes of cold are also many; and that of these the first is being common, from being continually permitted. The reason why being common, from being continually permitted, is an adventitious cause of cold is that it befalls those who think of conjugial love and of the wife lasciviously, but not those who think holily of marriage, and with confidence of the wife. That from being common from being continually allowed, even joys become indifferent, and also wearisome, is manifest from plays and scenic entertainments, from musical harmonies, dances, banquets, and other like enjoyments, which in themselves are charming because enlivening. It becomes similar with cohabitation and intercourse between married partners, especially between those who have not put away the unchaste love of the sex from their love for each other, and when in want of ability they vainly think of it as common, from being continually permitted. That this commonness is a cause of cold to them, is self-evident. It is called adventitious because it adds itself to intrinsic cold as a cause, and stands with it as a reason. To remove the cold arising also from this cause, wives, from a prudence inherent in them, by various repugnances make the permissible not permissible. But it is very different with those who judge chastely of their wives. With the angels, that it is common from being continually permitted is, for that reason, the very delight of the soul, and is the containant of their conjugial love. For they are in the enjoyment of that love continually, and in ultimates according to the presence of their minds not interrupted with cares, thus from the good pleasure of judgment on the part of the husbands.
256. XX: Quod Causae accidentales frigoris etiam sint plures; et quod harum Prima sit Commune ex jugi licito. Quod Commune ex jugi licito, sit causa accidentalis frigoris, est quia accedit illis, qui lascive cogitant de conjugio et de uxore; non autem illis qui sancte de conjugio, et secure de uxore; quod a communi ex jugi licito etiam gaudia fiant indifferentiae, et quoque taedia, patet a ludis et spectaculis, ex harmoniis musicis, choreis, epulis, et similibus aliis, quae in se sunt dulcedines, quia vivificationes; simile fit cum contuberniis et consortiis inter conjuges; imprimis inter illos, qui ab amore inter se non removerunt incastum amorem sexus, et cum de communi ex jugi licito cogitant vane in absentia facultatis: quod his sit commune illud causa frigoris, ex se patet: hoc accidentale 1dicitur, quia addit se frigori intrinseco ut causa, et adstipulatur ei ut ratio. Ad removendum frigus ex hoc etiam oriundum, Uxores ex prudentia illis insita licitum non faciunt licitum per varias repugnantias. Sed prorsus aliter fit apud illos, qui de uxoribus caste judicant; quare apud Angelos est Commune ex jugi licito, ipsum delitium animae, et est continens amoris conjugialis illorum; nam in jucundo illius amoris sunt continue, ac in ultimis secundum praesentiam mentium non interpolatam 2curis, ita ex placitis judicii apud maritos.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: accindentale
2. Prima editio: iterpolatam