257、(21)第二个是迫于婚约和法律，与对方共同生活似乎不自由的感觉。这个因素仅适用于那些其婚姻之爱在至内层变得冷淡之人；它因是内在冷淡的一个补充，故是一个附加或偶然因素。就这种人而言，婚外情（即婚外之爱，love outside marriage）内在是热的，因为它被认可和青睐。事实上，对这一种爱的冷就是对另一种爱的热。即便这热没有被感觉到，它仍存在于冷里面，甚至就在它正中间。此时它若真不在里面，就永远不可能复活。正是这热造成强迫感，并且这种感觉与日俱增，以致一方将所缔结并具有法律保障的婚约视为无法挣脱的束缚。不过，若夫妻双方都打破了这些束缚，情况就不同了。
那些声明弃绝婚外情，认为婚姻之爱是天上的，并且就是天堂之人的情形截然不同；若他们体验到这一点，更是如此。对他们来说，婚约及其协定和法律及其规定被铭刻在他们心上，并刻得越来越深。就他们而言，这爱的约束无需那一纸婚约或法律规定来保证，这二者自创造时就被植入他们所享有的爱情本身。世上所确立的婚约和法律就出自爱情所固有的约定和律法，而不是反过来。正因如此，属于这爱的一切被感觉为自由；若非出于爱，就没有自由可言。我从天使那里听说，真正婚姻之爱的自由是最大的，因为这爱是所有爱中最大的。
257、（21）第二点是与对方生活在一起是被强迫而非自愿的。
这是那些在内心深处对婚姻之爱是冷漠的人的情况，因为在他们内在的冷漠之上又增加了一层，因此就成为附加的或者说意外原因，在这种人中，对没有婚姻约束的爱的热衷会不断增加。
这种热衷会因对方将婚姻视为是法律规定而不应违背而更加强烈。这在双方都不视法律为约束的情况下是不同的。
在抵制婚外情并视婚姻之爱是天国的人中，情况则是相反的。在这些人中法律规定刻在他们心中。对他们来讲，婚姻不是因为法律规定而成的一种束缚和责任。他们视这种束缚是与爱共存的，与爱相关的一切都不是强加的，没有不与爱相联的自由。我曾听天使说过，在婚姻之中所感受到的自由是最好的自由，因为这种爱是最好的爱。
257. (xxi) The second accidental cause of coldness is if living with one's partner seems forced by compact and law, and not free.
This is a reason which only applies to those whose conjugial love at the inmost level is cold; and since it comes on top of inward coldness, it is an additional or accidental reason. In these cases love outside marriage is inwardly on heat because it is approved and favoured. For coldness in one party is heat in the other, and this even if not felt is still present, even in the midst of coldness. If it were not still present even then, it could never be revived. It is this heat which causes compulsion, and this increases to the extent that one party regards the compact agreed on and the law fairly applied as bonds which cannot be broken. But it is different if these are broken by both parties.
[2] The case is quite different for those who have forsworn love outside marriage, and whose thinking about conjugial love is heavenly and is heaven, and even more so if they experience this. For them the compact with its agreements and the law with its prescriptions are imprinted on their hearts, and are ever being more deeply imprinted. In their case the bond of this love is not tied by entering on a compact or by passing a law, but both of these are from creation implanted in the love itself which they enjoy. The worldly consequences result from them, not the other way around. This is why everything relating to that love is felt as freedom; and there can be no freedom which does not come from love. I have been told by angels that the freedom of truly conjugial love is the greatest, because it is the highest of loves.
257. 21. Of these incidental reasons for coldness, a second is the sense that living with one's partner is compelled by covenant and law and not free. This is reason for coldness only in the case of people for whom conjugial love is cold in their inmost parts; and because it arises in addition to their internal coldness, it becomes an added or incidental reason. In such people, love free of marriage, because of its consent and favor, inwardly burns in a state of heat (for the coldness of the one love means the warmth of the other), and if the heat is not felt, still it is there, even in the midst of coldness. If it were not present even then, revival of interest would be impossible.
This heat is what creates the sense of compulsion, and the feeling increases in the measure that the other partner views the covenant by right of contract and the law by right of justice as bonds not to be violated. It is different if the bonds are broken on both sides.
[2] The contrary is the case with people who have renounced love outside of marriage and think of conjugial love as heavenly and as being heaven; and still more with those who perceive this to be so. In their case the covenant with its stipulations and the law with its requirements are engraved on their hearts, and these become continually more deeply engraved on them. To them the bond of conjugial love is not an obligation established because of the written covenant or by the enacted law, but the very love they feel has these two implanted in it from creation. The covenant and law inherent in the love is the reason for the covenant and law established in the world, not the reverse. Consequently everything connected with that love is felt as free. There is no sense of freedom that is not connected with love. I have heard moreover from angels that the sense of freedom in truly conjugial love is the freest of all, because that love is the greatest of loves.
257. 21. Another contingent cause of cold is that living with a married partner under contract and the law seems coerced and not free. This happens only to people whose marital love is cold at the core. It adds to the inner cold and becomes an accessory or contingent cause. With people like this, extramarital love smolders inside because they consent to it and favor it, for the coldness of the one love is the other love's warmth. This heat may not be felt, but it is still present, right in the midst of the cold, and if this heat were not there within the cold, sexual interest would not return. This smoldering heat is what causes a feeling of coercion, aggravated to the extent that one partner sees the agreement by contract or the justice of the law as bonds not to be broken. It is different if both partners loose the bonds.
For those who have detested extramarital love, and who think that the love in marriage is not only heavenly but is heaven, the situation is opposite - and still more for those who perceive that this is so. The covenant with its agreements and the law with its obligations are written on their hearts and are more deeply inscribed all the time. For them the bond of their love is not fixed by the contracted covenant or the legal enactment, but both of these are implanted from creation in the very love that they have. This is where the covenant and the law in the world come from, and not the other way around. So everything about their love feels free.
The only freedom possible is the freedom of love. And I have heard from angels that the freedom of true married love is the ultimate freedom, because that is the love of loves.
257. XXI. THAT OF THE ACCIDENTAL CAUSES OF COLD, THE SECOND IS, THAT BECAUSE OF THE COVENANT AND THE LAW, LIVING WITH THE MARRIED PARTNER SEEMS FORCED AND NOT FREE. This is a cause only with those with whom conjugial love is cold in their inmosts; and being an addition to the internal cold, it becomes an accessory or accidental cause. With such men, extra-conjugial love is intrinsically in heat by reason of the consent and favor which accompany it, the cold of the one love being the heat of the other. If this heat is not felt, it is still present within the cold, yea, in its midst. Moreover, unless it were then within, there would be no recuperation. This heat is what causes the feeling of compulsion, a feeling which is increased according as the covenant by virtue of a contract, and the law by virtue of justice, are regarded by the one partner as bonds not to be violated. It is different if those bonds are loosened by both partners.
[2] The opposite is the case with those who denounce extra-conjugial love as accursed, and think of conjugial love as heavenly and as heaven; and still more with those who perceive this. With them, the covenant with its contractual clauses, and the law with its decrees are inscribed on their hearts and are being continually more and more inscribed thereon. With them, the bond of that love is not secured by a contracted covenant or by legal enactment. These two are implanted from creation in the love in which they are, and it is from them that the former are in the world, and not the reverse. Hence it is that everything pertaining to that love is felt as free. No other freedom is possible save the freedom of love; and I have heard from angels that the freedom of love truly conjugial is the height of freedom because that love is the love of loves.
257. (xxi) Of accessory causes of cold a second is that living together with the partner under covenant and by law seems forced and not free. This cause exists only with those in whom marital love is cold in the inmosts; supplementing the inward cold, it becomes an additional or accessory cause of cold. With such partners extramarital love, through being countenanced, is inwardly the warmth (for the cold of the one love is the warmth of the other); this warmth, though not felt, is still within, yes, in the midst of the cold; were it not within, there would be no zest. 1This heat is what causes the constraint, which is increased as the covenant by agreement and the law from right are regarded by one of the partners as bonds not to be violated. It is otherwise if the bonds are relaxed by them both. The contrary happens with those who have held extra-marital love to be accursed, and who think of marital love as heavenly and as heaven; and still more with those who perceive that this is the fact. The covenant with its agreements and the law with its obligations are written on the hearts of such partners and ever more deeply written on them. With them the bond of marital love is not secured by covenant agreement, nor by legal enactment; obligation and law are implanted by creation in the very love in which they are. From these come the world's bonds, and not the other way about. The result is that such partners find all the life of marital love unconstrained. There is nothing free which is not from love. I have heard from the angels that the freedom of true marital love is the freest of all, just as that love is the love of loves.
Footnotes:
1. For meaning see in. 294.
257. (21) That of the adventitious causes of cold the second is, that cohabitation with the consort from covenant and law seems constrained and not free. This cause exists only among those with whom conjugial love is cold in the inmosts, and as this adds itself to the inward cold it becomes an accessory or adventitious cause. With them love outside of the conjugial by their consent and favor of it is inwardly in heat, for the cold of the one is the heat of the other, which if not felt is yet there, yea, in the midst of the cold; and if it were not also then present there would be no recuperation. This heat is what causes the constraint, which is increased according as the covenant by agreement, and the law by right, are regarded by one party as bonds that may not be broken. It is different if on the part of both they are unloosed. The contrary is with those who have abhorred love outside of the conjugial, and who think of conjugial love as heavenly, and as heaven; and the more with those who perceive that it is so. With them the covenant with its agreements and the law with its obligations are written in their hearts, and are more and more inscribed upon them continually. With them the bond of that love is not secured by covenant obligation, nor by legal enactment, but these two are inherent from creation in the love itself in which they are. From these are the bonds in the world and not the reverse. Hence it is that everything which is of that love is felt as free. There is nothing free which is not of love. I have heard from the angels that the freedom of love truly conjugial is the freest, because it is the love of loves.
257. XXI: Quod causarum accidentalium frigoris Secunda sit, quod cohabitatio cum conjuge ex foedere et lege videatur coacta et non libera. Haec causa est solum illis, apud quos amor conjugialis in intimis friget; et quia se intestino frigori addit, fit causa accedens seu accidentalis; apud hos amor extraconjugialis ex consensu et favore ejus intrinsecus in calore est, nam frigus unius est calor alterius, qui si non sentitur, usque inest, imo in medio frigore; qui nisi inesset etiam tunc, non foret reparatio: hic calor est qui facit coactum, quod augetur, sicut ab una parte foedus ex pacto et lex ex justo, spectantur ut vincula non violanda; aliter si utrinque solvuntur.
[2] Contrarium est apud illos, qui amorem extraconjugialem devoverunt, ac coeleste et coelum de amore conjugiali cogitant, et plus qui id percipiunt; apud hos foedus illud cum suis pactis, et lex illa cum suis sancitis, inscripta sunt cordibus, et continue plus illis inscribuntur; apud hos vinculum amoris illius non ligatur ex foedere pacto, nec per legem latam, sed haec duo sunt ipsi amori, in quo sunt, ex creatione insita; ex his sunt illa in Mundo, non vicissim: inde est, quod omne, quod est illius amoris, sentiatur ut liberum; non datur aliquod liberum, quod non est amoris; et audivi ab angelis, quod liberum amoris vere conjugialis sit liberrimum, quia ille est amor amorum.