405、⒃属灵夫妻对婴幼儿的爱不同于属世夫妻的。属灵夫妻对孩子的爱看似与属世夫妻的差不多；但它更内在，因而也更温柔，因为这爱是由他们自己里面的纯真，以及更近的接受和更明显的觉知产生的；事实上，属灵夫妻被纯真引领的程度，就是他们属灵的程度。然而，属灵父母在品尝了他们孩子里面的纯真甜蜜后，爱孩子的方式与属世父母的迥然不同。属灵父母因孩子的属灵聪明和道德生活而爱自己的孩子；换句话说，是出于孩子对神的敬畏和体现在行为、生活中的虔诚，连同他们对服务社会的热爱和奉献，也就是出于他们的美德和好行为。主要是对这些品质的热爱促使属灵的父母满足他们的需求，并支持他们。因此，属灵的父母若在他们身上看不到这些美德，就会从心里疏远他们，为他们做事仅仅出于责任。
诚然，属世父母对孩子的爱也源于纯真；但当他们接受纯真时，这纯真被包裹在他们自己的爱里面。这两个因素（即他们自己的爱和纯真）促使他们爱自己的孩子，亲吻并拥抱他们，把他们带在身边，搂在怀里，无比宠溺，视其为自己的心脏和灵魂。后来，随着孩子从童年成长到青春期及以后，当纯真不再起作用时，属世父母依然爱他们，但不是出于他们所表现出的对神的任何敬畏和生活中的虔诚，或任何理性和道德的聪明。属世的父母很少或几乎不关注他们的内在情感，进而关注他们的美德和好行为，只看重自己所钟爱的外在事物。他们的爱或情感就附着、固定、黏附于这些东西上；这也使得他们对孩子的错误视而不见，找借口原谅并袒护他们。原因在于，对属世父母来说，爱自己的后代就是爱他们自己；这爱从外在黏附于它所爱的那个人，并未进入他，正如它所爱的那个人也未进入它一样。
405、（16）对小孩子和后代的爱在精神性的配偶中是一种状态，在自然性的配偶中是另一种状态。在精神的配偶中对小孩子的爱与在自然的配偶中的对小孩子的爱表面上看相似，只不过前者更内在，更柔和，因为他们的爱发自于纯真，来自于直接的接收进而在他们中有更好的理解。因为精神的人在性质上是精神的。
另一方面，当他们成为父母，体验到了他们的孩子的纯真和他们对孩子的爱与那些自然性的父母是很不相同的。精神的父母因他们的精神的才智和道德的生活而爱他们，因为畏惧神而爱他们，因为对行为和生命的虔诚而爱他们。即服务于社会，并在他们形成好的道德和习惯。出于以上的爱而提供孩子的需要。因此，若没有以上这些，父母就会只出于责任而为孩子做事情。
自然的父母亲对孩子的爱也是出于纯真，但是当被他们接受后，就被他们自身的爱所围绕。因此，是出于那种爱同时也出于纯真，他们爱小孩子，亲吻他们，拥抱他们，并将他们视为与自己为一体。之后，在童年早期后，以及青春期及其后，当纯真不在存在，他们会仍然爱他们，但不是出于对神的畏惧和对生命的虔诚，也不是出于其内的情感和好的道德和行为，而只是出于他们所喜欢的外在的因素。他们的爱是建立在后面这种因素之上的。因此，他们会忽视他们的错误，放纵他们。因为他们身上，对后代的爱也是对自己的爱，这与其对象表面上相联，而不会进入深层。
405. (xvi) The love of small [and older] children is different in the case of spiritual married couples and natural ones.
In the case of spiritual married couples the love of children looks much the same as it does in the case of natural couples; but it is more inward and thus more tender, because this love arises from innocence, and from its being more nearly received and so more obviously perceived in themselves, for spiritual people are spiritual to the extent that they are guided by innocence. However, after fathers and mothers have tasted the sweetness of innocence in their children, they love them in quite a different way from natural fathers and mothers. Spiritual parents love their children for their spiritual intelligence and their moral way of life, in other words from their fear of God and piety realised in deeds and life, together with their affection and devotion to purposes of use to the community, that is, their virtues and good behaviour. It is the love of these qualities which chiefly makes them care for and supply necessities. If therefore they do not see these qualities in them, they set their minds against them and only do what they feel obliged to do for them.
[2] In the case of natural fathers and mothers, the love of children is admittedly also derived from innocence, but when it is received by them it becomes wrapped around their own particular love, so that both of these factors make them love children, kissing and embracing them, carrying them and hugging them to their breasts and make a quite excessive fuss of them. They look upon them as a single heart and a single soul with theirs. Then later, as they advance from childhood to adolescence and beyond, when innocence no longer plays any part, their love for them comes not from any fear of God and religious feeling expressed in their way of life, nor from any rational or moral intelligence in them; and they pay little or hardly any attention to their inward affections, and so to their virtues and good behaviour, but only to the outward features which they find attractive. It is to these their love is attached, fixed and clings. This makes them also close their eyes to their faults, making excuses for these and favouring them. The reason is that in their case the love of their offspring is also a love of themselves; and this clings to the outside of the person loved and does not enter into him, just as neither does it into himself.
405. 16. A love of little children is of one character in spiritual partners, and of another character in natural ones. A love of little children in spiritual partners is similar in appearance to a love of little children in natural partners, only it is more interior and so more tender, because that love springs from innocence, and from a more immediate reception and thus a more present perception of it in them. For spiritual people are spiritual in the measure of the character they acquire from innocence.
On the other hand, however, on their becoming fathers and mothers, after they have tasted the sweetness of the innocence in their little children, the love they have for their children is quite different from that of natural fathers and mothers for theirs. Spiritual parents love their children for their spiritual intelligence and moral life, loving them thus for their fear of God and for their piety of conduct or life, and at the same time for their affection for and application to useful endeavors of service to society, thus for the virtues and good habits in them. Out of a love for these traits principally do they provide for and supply their needs. Consequently, if they do not see such traits in them, they estrange their heart from them and only out of duty do anything for them.
[2] In natural fathers and mothers, a love of little children springs, indeed, from innocence also, but when this innocence is received by them, it is wrapped around their own personal love. Consequently it is as a result of that love and at the same time innocence that they love their little children, kissing them, hugging them, carrying them, clasping them to their breasts, and cajoling them beyond all measure, and looking upon them as being of one heart and one soul with themselves. Later, then, after the period of their early childhood, to the age of puberty and beyond, when innocence is no longer operative, they love them, but not for any fear of God or for any piety of conduct or life, nor for any rational or moral intelligence in them, and they pay little or almost no attention to their inner affections and thus to any virtues and good habits, but only to their external qualities to which they are favorably disposed. It is to these latter qualities that they attach, fasten and cement their love. Therefore they also close their eyes to their faults, excusing them and encouraging them. The reason for this is that in them the love of their progeny is also love of self, and this attaches itself to its object superficially, and does not extend deeper into it, as the object does not into the love.
405. 16. Love for children is different in spiritual partners than in earthly ones. Spiritual partners have a love for children that is similar in appearance to the love for children in worldly partners, but it is more inward, so it is more tender, because that love comes out of innocence and from the closer reception of innocence in themselves, and thus from a more powerful perception of it. For spiritual partners partake of innocence to the extent that they are spiritual. But, in fact, after these fathers and mothers have tasted the sweetness of innocence in their babies, they love their children in an altogether different way than worldly fathers and mothers do. Spiritual parents love children for their spiritual intelligence and moral life. In other words, for fear of God and for active piety, or piety that is lived, and at the same time for loving and doing activities that serve society, which is to say, for the virtues and good behavior in them. It is mainly for love of these things that they look after their needs and provide for them. So if they fail to see this kind of thing in them, it draws their souls away from them, and they do things for them only from duty.
In worldly fathers and mothers, to be sure, there is also love for children on account of innocence, but when they receive the innocence it becomes wrapped up in their own love, so they love the children for both of these things at the same time, kissing, hugging, and carrying them, hugging them to their chests, fondling them beyond measure. And they see them as if they had the same heart and soul as themselves. And then, after their state of childhood, up to adolescence and beyond, when innocence is no longer working, they do not love them from any fear of God, and active or living piety, nor for any rational and moral intelligence in them.
They take little if any note of their inner feelings or the virtues and good behavior from them, and they notice only the outward virtues that they dote on. They join, fasten, and glue their love to these things, and so they close their eyes to their faults, excusing them and encouraging the children. The reason is that in them, love of their offspring is also self - love, which attaches to its object outwardly and does not enter into it any more than it does into itself.
405. XVI. THAT THE LOVE OF INFANTS [AND CHILDREN] IS OF ONE KIND WITH SPIRITUAL MARRIED PARTNERS, AND OF ANOTHER WITH NATURAL. With spiritual partners the love of infants is the same in appearance as the love of infants with natural partners; but it is more internal and hence more tender, inasmuch as it exists from the innocence with themselves, and from a closer reception and a more present perception thereof; for the spiritual are spiritual in the degree that they partake of innocence. But after they have tasted the sweetness of the innocence present with their infants, [spiritual] fathers and mothers love their children in a far different way than do natural fathers and mothers. The spiritual love their children for the spiritual intelligence and moral life of those children, thus for their fear of God and their actual piety or piety of life, and at the same time for their devotion and application to uses serviceable to society, thus for their virtues and their upright conduct. It is mainly from their love of these that they provide for their needs and supply them; and therefore, if they do not see such virtues in them, they alienate their mind from them, and what they do for them is done solely from duty.
[2] With natural fathers and mothers, the love of infants is indeed also from innocence, but, as received by them, this innocence is wrapped around their own love. Hence it is from the latter and at the same time from innocence that they love their infants, kissing and hugging them, carrying them about, pressing them to their bosoms, fondling them beyond measure, and regarding them as being one heart and soul with themselves. Then, after their state of infancy and up to adolescence and beyond, when innocence is no longer operative, they continue to love them, but not from the presence with them of any fear of God and actual piety or piety of life, or of any rational and moral intelligence. They pay little and indeed scarcely any attention to their internal affections and hence to their virtues and good conduct, seeing only the external things which they themselves favor. To these they adjoin, attach, and cement their affections; thus shutting their eyes to the faults of their children, excusing and favoring them. The reason is because with them, the love of their progeny is also the love of themselves, and this love clings to its object outwardly, but does not enter into that object, just as the object does not enter into it.
405. (xvi) Love of children is one thing with spiritual partners, and another with natural. Love for children in spiritual partners seems like the love for children in natural partners, but is more interior and more tender, because it exists then from innocence and from a more intimate reception and perception of innocence; for the spiritual are spiritual in so far as they partake of innocence. Spiritual fathers and mothers not only enjoy the sweetness of innocence in their little ones; they also love them later quite differently from natural fathers and mothers. They love their grown-up children for their spiritual intelligence and moral life, their fear of God and actual piety or piety of life, and at the same time for their affection for and application to uses serviceable to society, thus for their virtues and sound habits. Out of a love for these things principally do they provide for and serve their necessities. If therefore they do not see such things in them, they alienate their minds from them, and help them only from a sense of duty.
With natural fathers and mothers, the love of children is from innocence, too, but they receive this innocence only to wrap it about their self-love. Hence they love their children both for the innocence and from self-love, kissing and embracing them, carrying, snatching them to the bosom, and fondling them immoderately, all the time regarding them as part of themselves. Later, during childhood to puberty and beyond, when innocence no longer operates, they do not love them for any fear of God and practical piety or piety of life, or for any rational and moral intelligence; they pay little or no thought to their internal affections or to their virtues and sound habits, but solely to external things which they like - to these they adjoin, fix and glue their love. So they shut their eyes to their faults, excusing and countenancing them. The reason is that their love for their progeny is also self-love. Self-love clings externally to a loved one, and does not enter into him, as it does not into itself.
405. (16) That the love of infants is of one kind with spiritual married partners, and of another with natural. To appearance the love of infants with spiritual married partners is similar to the love of infants with natural married partners, but it is more internal and thence more tender, because that love exists from innocence, and from a nearer reception and thus more present perception of it in themselves; for the spiritual are spiritual in the degree that they partake of innocence. Moreover fathers and mothers, after they have tasted the sweetness of innocence with their infants, love their children altogether otherwise than natural fathers and mothers. The spiritual love their children according to their spiritual intelligence and moral life; thus they love them according to their fear of God and actual piety, or piety of life, and at the same time according to their affection for and application to uses serviceable to society, that is, according to the virtues and good morals with them. For their love of these things, principally, they provide for and minister to their necessities. Wherefore, if they do not see such virtues in them, they alienate the mind from them, and do nothing for them except from duty.
With natural fathers and mothers the love of infants is indeed also from innocence, but this, received by them, is wrapped about with their own love, and hence they love infants from this and at the same time from that, kissing, embracing, carrying, taking them to their bosom, and fondling them beyond all measure, and look upon them as of one heart and one soul with themselves. And then, after their state of infancy, up to adolescence and beyond, when innocence no longer operates, they love them, not on account of any fear of God and actual piety, or piety of life, nor for any rational and moral intelligence in them, and little, indeed scarcely at all, do they consider their internal affections and thence virtues and good morals, but only the things external for which they have regard. To these they adjoin, affix, and attach their love, and consequently close the eyes to their faults, excusing and favoring them. The reason is that the love of their progeny with them is also the love of themselves, and this love clings to the subject outwardly, but does not enter into it as it does not into themselves.
405. XVI. Quod Amor infantum alius sit apud conjuges spirituales, et alius apud naturales. Apud conjuges spirituales est Amor infantum quoad apparentiam similis amori infantum apud conjuges naturales, sed est interior et inde tenerior, quia Amor ille existit ex innocentia, et ex ejus propiore receptione, et sic praesentiore perceptione apud se, nam Spirituales tantum spirituales sunt, quantum ex innocentia ducunt. At vero patres et matres, postquam libaverunt dulcedinem innocentiae apud suos infantes, amant liberos suos prorsus aliter quam patres et matres naturales; Spirituales amant liberos ex intelligentia spirituali et vita morali illorum, ita illos ex timore Dei et ex pietate actuali seu vitae, et simul ex affectione et applicatione ad usus Societati inservientes, ita ex virtutibus et bonis moribus, apud illos; ex horum amore principaliter illis necessitates prospiciunt et subministrant; quare si talia in illis non vident, abalienant animum ab illis, et solum ex debito pro illis aliquid agunt.
[2] Apud patres et matres naturales, est Amor infantum quidem etiam ex innocentia, sed haec recepta ab illis obvolvitur circum amorem illorum proprium, et inde ex hoc et simul ex illa infantes amant, osculando, amplectendo, portando, admovendo pectoribus, et super omnem modum adblandiendo, et spectant illos sicut unum cor et unam animam secum; ac deinde post infantiae illorum statum usque ad ephebatum et ultra, dum innocentia non amplius aliquid operatur, illos amant non ex aliquo timore Dei ac pietate actuali seu vitae, nec ex aliqua intelligentia rationali et morali apud illos, ac parum et vix quicquam spectant ad affectiones internas illorum, et inde ad virtutes et bonos mores, sed solum ad externa, quibus favent; his amorem suum adjungunt, affigunt, et agglutinant; inde etiam occludunt oculos ad vitia illorum, excusantes illa et faventes illis: causa est, quia apud illos amor progeniei suae, est quoque amor sui, et hic adhaeret subjecto extrinsecus, ac non intrat in illud, sicut ipse nec in se.