58、⑴真婚姻之爱的确存在，但如今极其罕见，以致人们不知道它的性质，甚至几乎不知道它的存在。事实上，如下文所描述的这种婚姻之爱存在的可能性，从这爱第一次潜入并占据少男、少女内心之时的初始阶段可以得知，在那些一开始只爱一个异性，并想要她成为新娘的人中间也能看出来。在订婚的时候，就是婚期持续期间、离婚礼越来越近，然后最终结婚及婚后最初的日子之时，这爱会增长。那时，有谁不承认并同意以下观点：这爱是一切爱之根基？一切欢喜和一切快乐，从初至末，皆汇集于此。有谁不知道，这段幸福时光过后，这些欢乐状态一点点消失，甚至销声匿迹，直到最后夫妻二人感觉不到一丝欢乐？这时，如果你再说出和先前一样的话来，即这爱是一切爱的根基，一切欢喜和一切快乐，从初至末，皆汇集于此，他们既不同意也不承认。或许，他们还会说，这些话都是些愚蠢的想法，或它们是超出理解的奥秘。由此清楚可知，婚姻初期的爱模仿了真婚姻之爱，并呈现出它的某种可见形像。这是因为，此时，对异性的不洁之爱通过被弃绝，取而代之的是所植入的对一个异性的爱，这爱是真正的婚姻之爱，是贞洁的。在这种时候，哪个男人不是对其他女人毫不动心，而只衷情于自己所爱的那一位？
58、（1）曾经有一种婚姻之爱，如今的人很少有人知道有它的存在。以下几页将要讲的这种爱可能存在于爱的最初阶段，即当一个小伙子或姑娘准备只爱一个人并与之订婚的时候。这种爱会延续直到婚礼的接近，延续到婚礼时及婚后的一些天。
那时候有谁不会认为这种爱是一切爱的基础，这其中包含着一切的快乐和喜悦？
但没有人知道，在欢乐的时光过后，这种欢快的感觉会逐渐消失，最后一点也不剩。如果那时一个人还会说婚姻之爱是一切爱的基础，这其中包含着一切快乐和喜悦。别人也会认为他在说谎。他们会说这是个很慌诞的言论，会觉得无法理解。
可见婚姻初期的爱体现了真正的婚姻之爱的一种可见的形式。因为在这个时候对别的异性的爱不存在，而人只会想着爱这一个。这是一种真正的婚姻之爱，是纯洁的。那一个男人在那个时候对其它的女人不屑一顾，而只专注于他自己的妻子。
58. (i) Truly conjugial love exists, but is so rare that today its nature is unknown and almost its very existence.
The existence of such conjugial love as is described hereafter can in fact be recognised from the initial stage of that love, when it finds its way into and takes possession of the heart of a young man or woman. Or so it does with those who start by loving only one of the opposite sex and wanting her for a bride; and it increases during the time they are engaged, when this is prolonged, and as their wedding draws near; and then when at last they are married and in the first days afterwards. Is there anyone who does not then recognise and agree with the following proposition: that this love is the foundation of all loves, and all joys and delights, from first to last, have been conferred on it? And is there anyone who does not know that after this pleasant time, this cheerful state little by little passes away and comes to an end, so that in the end the couple hardly feels any cheerfulness at all? If you then tell them the same as previously, that this love is the foundation of all loves, and that all joys and cheerfulness are conferred on it, they do not agree or recognise this. They may perhaps say that these are trivial, or that they are transcendental mysteries.
It is plain from this that the earliest stage of love in marriage imitates truly conjugial love and presents some kind of picture of it. This happens because then sexual love, which is unchaste, is rejected and instead there is implanted the love of one member of the opposite sex, which is truly conjugial and chaste love. Surely everyone then looks on other women without any feelings of love, and only on one's own choice in amorous fashion.
58. 1. There is a truly conjugial love, which today is so rare that people do not know what it is like, and scarcely that it exists. The possibility of the kind of conjugial love described in the following pages may indeed be recognized from the first state of that love, when it is first stealing into and entering the heart of a young man and woman, as it does in the case of those who are beginning to love only one of the opposite sex and to want him or her as their betrothed. And still more during the time of engagement, as this stretches on and draws nearer the wedding. And finally at the time of the wedding, and in the first days after it.
Who does not then acknowledge and give assent to the following thoughts, that this love is the fundamental love of all loves? Moreover, that all joys and all delights have been gathered into it, from the first to the last of them?
But who does not also know that after this happy time, these glad feelings gradually wane and disappear, until at last they are hardly felt. If at that time one says to these same people the same thing as before, that this love is the fundamental love of all loves, and that all joys and delights have been gathered into it, they neither assent nor acknowledge this. Perhaps they will even say these are foolish notions, or that they are mysteries beyond comprehension.
It is clear from this that the early love in marriage emulates truly conjugial love and presents a kind of visible image of it. This is the case because a love for the opposite sex in general, which is unchaste, is then renounced, and in its place love for one of the sex sits implanted, which is a truly conjugial love and chaste. What man at that time does not look upon other women with a loveless nod, and on his one and only with a loving one?
58. 1. There is a real married love that is so rare today that people do not know what it is, and they hardly even know it exists. There is such a marital love as the following articles describe. You can certainly tell it from the first state of that love when it wins its way and enters the heart of a young man and woman - in other words, you see it in men who are beginning to love only one woman of the whole sex and want to marry her, and even more during the period of engagement as it becomes longer and the wedding approaches, and finally at the wedding and the first days after it.
At that time, who would not agree and consent to the fact that this love is basic to all loves, and that then all joys and delights, from first to last, are gathered together in it?
And who does not know that after this charming time those joys pass and go away one by one, until at last the couple hardly notice them? Then if someone says to them the same thing as before - that this love is the basic one of all loves, and that all joys and delights are gathered together in it - they do not consent and agree. And they might say the delights are a laugh, or that they are fleeting fancies. This shows that the first love in a marriage emulates the real love in marriage and sets it up as a kind of pattern to keep in view. This happens because at that time love of the other sex, which is unchaste, is discarded, and in its place a love for one person of the other sex, which is real married love, and is chaste, takes root. Who does not look upon other women without interest at that time, and look at his one and only with love?
58. I. THAT THERE IS A LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, WHICH IS SO RARE AT THIS DAY THAT IT IS NOT KNOWN WHAT IT IS AND SCARCELY THAT IT IS. That there is a conjugial love such as is described in the following pages, can indeed be acknowledged from the first state of that love when it is insinuating itself and entering into the heart of a young man and woman; thus as it is with those who begin to love one only of the sex and to desire her as their bride; and still more during the time of betrothal and during the continuance of this time as it progresses towards the nuptials, and then in the nuptial ceremony and during the first days that follow. Who does not then give acknowledgment and consent to the following: That this love is the fundamental of all loves, and that into it are gathered all joys and all delights from their first to their last. And who does not know, that after this happy time these states of gladness successively decline and pass away till at last the married pair become scarcely sensible of them? If it be said to them then, as before, that this love is the fundamental of all loves and that into it is gathered every joy and gladness, they neither assent to it nor acknowledge it, and perhaps they will say that these are idle words or that they are transcendental mysteries. It is evident from this, that the primitive love of marriage emulates love truly conjugial and presents it to view in an image; and this because love of the sex, which is unchaste, is then cast out and, implanted in its place, resides love of one of the sex, which is love truly conjugial and is chaste. Who does not then look upon other women with a loveless nod and upon his own with a loving?
58. (i) There is a true marital love which is so rare today that its character is not known, and hardly that it exists. The existence of a marital love such as is described in the following pages may indeed be recognized in the first state of the love, as it creeps into the heart of a young man or woman; or in the experience of those who are beginning to love only one of the sex and to desire her for a wife; and still more in the period of betrothal, throughout the interval and as the wedding approaches; and, finally, at the wedding and in the first days after it. Who does not then acknowledge and assent to the propositions that this love is basic in all loves; likewise that into it are gathered all joys and delights from first to last? And who does not know that after this honeymoon these gladnesses gradually fade and go, until at last they are hardly ever felt? If now people are told as before, that this love is the fundamental love of all loves, and that all joys and gladnesses are gathered into it, they do not assent or acknowledge it; and they may say that those feelings were trivial, or are mysterious and transcendent. From this it is plain that the early love in a marriage emulates true marital love and presents it to sight in a kind of image. For at that time love for the sex, which is unchaste, is cast out, and in its place is implanted a love for one of the sex which is true marital love and chaste. Who does not look then on other women without love and on his only one with love?
58. (1) That there is love truly conjugial; which is so rare at the present day that its quality is not known, and scarcely that it exists. That there is such conjugial love as is described in the following pages may indeed be acknowledged from the first state of the love, when it is insinuating itself and entering into the heart of a young man and a maiden; that is, with those that are beginning to love one only of the sex and to desire her for a bride; and still more during the time of betrothment, while it is lingering and progressing to the nuptials; and finally at the nuptials, and during the first days that follow them. Who does not then acknowledge and assent to the propositions which follow: That this love is the fundamental of all loves? And that into this love are gathered all joys and all delights from first to last? And who does not know that after this pleasant time these states of gladness successively decline and pass away, till at length they become scarcely sensible of them? If it be said to them then, as before, that this love is the fundamental of all loves, and that into this love all joys and all gladnesses are brought together, they do not assent to it or acknowledge it; and perhaps will say they are idle words, or that they are transcendent mysteries. It is evident from this that the earliest love of marriage emulates love truly conjugial, and presents it to view in a certain image. This is so because then the love of the sex, which is unchaste, is cast aside, and love of one of the sex, which is love truly conjugial and chaste, is implanted and resides in its place. Who does not then look upon other women without love, and upon his own only one with love?
58. [I:] Quod detur Amor vere conjugialis, qui hodie tam rarus est, ut non sciatur qualis est, et vix quod sit. Quod detur talis Amor conjugialis, qualis describitur in his sequentibus, quidem potest agnosci ex Primo statu illius amoris, quando se in cor juvenis et virginis insinuat ac intrat, ita apud illos, qui unam solam e sexu incipiunt amare, ac desiderare in sponsam; et adhuc plus tempore desponsationis, dum hoc protrahitur, et progreditur ad nuptias; et tandem in nuptiis, et primis diebus post illas; quis tunc non agnoscit, et consentit ad sequentia haec, quod ille Amor sit fundamentalis omnium amorum; tum quod in illum collata sint omnia gaudia et omnes delitiae a primis ad ultima; et quis non scit, quod post amaenum hoc tempus successive transeant et facessant laetitiae illae, usque tandem ut vix sentiant illas; si tunc illis dicitur idem quod prius, quod Amor ille sit fundamentalis omnium amorum, et quod in illum collata sint omnia gaudia et laetitiae, non consentiunt nec agnoscunt; et forte dicent, quod sint nugae, aut quod sint mystica quae transcendunt. Ex his patet, quod Amor primitivus conjugii aemuletur Amorem vere conjugialem, et sistat illum videndum in quadam imagine; quod fit, quia tunc projectus est amor sexus, qui est incastus, ac loco ejus amor unius e sexu, qui est amor vere conjugialis, et castus, insidet implantatus; quis tunc non spectat alias mulieres nutu inamato, ac suam unicam amato.