555、起初，我很困惑，为什么自我之爱和世界之爱是如此恶毒？为什么陷入其中的人外貌是如此狰狞可怕？因为在世上，人们几乎不反思自我之爱，只是注意到在外在事物上洋洋得意的心态，也就是所谓的骄傲，相信它就是唯一的自我之爱，因为它是如此明显。不仅如此，如果自我之爱不表现为骄傲，世人就会以为，正是这股生命之火激励人努力上进、施展抱负，如果在这些努力中看不到尊敬或荣耀，他们的心智就会萎靡不振。他们会说：“如果不是为了得到别人的荣耀和尊敬，被人记念，谁曾做过任何有价值、有用处或卓越的事呢？所做的一切不都是源于对荣耀和尊敬的爱、因而是对自己的爱吗？”因此，世人还不知道，就其本质而言，自我之爱就是那统治地狱、并在人里面创造地狱的爱。既然如此，我想先描述一下什么是自我之爱，然后再证明一切的邪恶及其伪谬都来自这种爱。｛注1｝
｛注1｝：【英302】参见上文第122节注释。
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555. 起初, 我很困惑, 为何自我之爱和尘世之爱如此可憎, 陷入这些爱的人看上去为何如此可怕. 毕竟, 世人几乎不怎么思想自我之爱, 只关注精神上的外在膨胀, 就是所谓的骄傲, 唯独将它视为自我之爱, 因为它就是如此表现的. 不仅如此, 如果自我之爱不表现为骄傲, 世人就会以为它正是那激励人谋求高位, 发挥功用的生命之火; 如果他在这些努力中看不到尊敬或荣耀, 他的精神就会萎靡不振. 有人会问: “若非为了得到别人的称赞和尊敬, 无论公开地还是在他们的想法里, 谁去做有价值, 有用处, 或引人注目的事呢? 这一切除了来自对荣耀和尊敬的爱, 因而来自对自我的爱之外, 还能来自哪里? ”这就是为何世人没有意识到, 就其本身而言, 自我之爱就是那在地狱掌权, 并构成人里面的地狱之爱. 由于实际情况就是这样, 所以我要先描述一下自我之爱是什么样, 然后解释一切邪恶及其虚假皆源于这爱, 如同源于它们的源泉.
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555. 起初, 我欲(啟自己)和物欲(啟世界)為何如此可憎, 陷入其中的人為何顯得如此可怖？啟此, 我感到納悶。畢竟, 在人間, 我們很少對我欲進行反思, 僅僅注意到人的驕傲情緒(因為它顯而易見), 以為它是我欲的唯一表現形式。再者, 我欲若不表現為驕傲, 世人就將其理解為催促人追求地位, 施展抱負的雄心壯志, 認為人若看不到尊貴, 榮耀的前景, 其靈魂必要變得呆滯。人們說:"若非為了獲得稱讚, 受到尊敬, 誰願意做有價啟有意義的事？其動力從何而來？還不是從追求榮譽和尊貴的欲望而來？換言之, 還不都是為了自己？"這是世人無法察覺在地獄占主導地位, 構成人心中地獄的正是我欲的原因。
既是如此, 我願意先描述一下我欲的性質, 然後解釋一切邪惡和謬誤都是從我欲湧現出來的。
555. At first I wondered why love for oneself and love of the world are so diabolic, why people who are absorbed in them look so frightful. After all, in the world we scarcely give love for ourselves a second thought. We focus only on that outward inflation of spirit called pride, which we believe is the only self-love because it is so visible. Not only that, if love for oneself does not express itself in pride, then we in the world think it is the vital fire that rouses us to work for high position and to do constructive things. We believe that if we saw no prospect of esteem and glory in these efforts, our spirits would become sluggish. People ask, "Who would do anything decent or useful or remarkable except to be praised and respected by others, [openly] or in their thoughts; and where does this come from except from the fire of a love for glory and esteem - that is, for the sake of self?" This is why people in the world do not realize that in its own right love for oneself is the love that rules in hell and that makes hell within us.
Since this is in fact the case, I should like first to describe what love for oneself is, and then explain that everything evil and false wells up from this love.
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555. At first I wondered how it is that love of self and love of the world could be so diabolical, and how those who are in these loves could be such monsters in appearance; for in the world there is little reflection upon the love of self; but only on that elated state of mind in external matters which is called haughtiness, which because it is so apparent to the sight, is regarded as the only love of self. Furthermore, love of self; when it is not so displayed, is believed in the world to be the very fire of life by which man is stimulated to seek employment and to perform uses, and if he saw no honour or glory in these his mind would grow torpid. They say, "who has ever done any worthy, useful, and distinguished deed except for the sake of being praised and honoured by others, or in the minds of others? And can this be from any other source than the fire of love for glory and honour, consequently for self?" For this reason, it is unknown in the world that love of self; regarded in itself; is the love that rules in hell and makes hell with man. This being so I would first describe what the love of self is, and then (show] that all evils and falsities therefrom spring from that love.
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555. At first I wondered how it is that love of self and love of the world could be so diabolical, and how those who are in these loves could be such monsters in appearance; for in the world not much thought is given to love of self, but only to that elated state of mind in external matters which is called haughtiness, and that alone, being so apparent to the sight, is regarded as love of self. Furthermore, love of self, when it is not so displayed, is believed in the world to be the very fire of life by which man is stimulated to seek employment and to perform uses, and if he found no honor or glory in these his mind would grow torpid. It is asked, Who has ever done any worthy, useful, and distinguished deed except for the sake of being praised and honored by others, or regarded with esteem and honor by others? And can this be from any other source than the fire of love for glory and honor, consequently for self. For this reason, it is unknown in the world that love of self, regarded in itself, is the love that rules in hell and constitutes hell in man. This being so I will first describe what the love of self is, and then will show that all evils and their falsities spring from that love as their fountain.
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555. Primum miratus sum, unde hoc, quod amor sui et amor mundi tam diabolici sint, et quod ii qui in illis sunt, talia monstra ad aspectum sint; quoniam in mundo parum reflectitur super amorem sui, sed super elationem animi in externis, quae superbia vocatur, quae quia apparet ad visum, solum amor sui esse creditur et praeterea amor sui, qui non se ita effert, in mundo creditur esse ignis vitae, ex quo homo excitatur ad ambiendas functiones, et ad praestandum usus, in quibus nisi homo honorem et gloriam videat, animus ejus torpescit. Dicunt, "Quis aliquid dignum, utile, et memorabile fecit, nisi ut ab aliis, aut in aliorum animis, celebretur et honoretur? et unde hoc nisi ex igne amoris pro gloria et honore, consequenter pro se?" Inde est, quod non sciatur in mundo, quod amor sui in se spectatus sit amor qui regnat in inferno, et faciat infernum apud hominem. Quia ita se res habet, velim primum describere, quid amor sui, et dein quod ab illo amore omnia mala et inde falsa scaturiant.