199、⒁就这样，少女转变为妻子，少男转变为丈夫。这一结果从本章前面部分的论述，以及前一章关于夫妻连合成为一体的论述可推知。少女之所以变成或被作成一个妻子，是因为妻子拥有取自丈夫、因而所获取的元素，这些元素是她以前为少女时所没有的。少男之所以变成或被作成一个丈夫，是因为丈夫拥有取自妻子的元素，这些元素是他以前为少男时所没有的，会提升他接受爱与智慧的能力。然而，这些效果只在那些享有真正婚姻之爱的人当中产生。这些人就在那些感觉“自己是一个联合的人，如同一体”的人当中，这一点可见于前一章（178节）。由此清楚可知，少女的状态在女人里面变成妻子的状态，少男的状态在男人里面变成丈夫的状态。
以下灵界经历向我证明了这一事实：有些男人声称，婚前与女人结合和婚后与妻子结合一样。闻听此言，妻子们极其愤慨地说：“根本不是这回事！它们之间的区别犹如幻想和现实之间的区别。”对此，男人们反驳说：“你们不是和从前一样是女人吗？”妻子们闻言大声说：“我们不是女人，而是妻子！你们正处在幻想、而非现实的爱中。所以这都是你们的空谈。”男人们又说：“就算不是女人，那至少也是结了婚的女人。”她们回答说：“刚结婚的时候的确是结了婚的女人；但现在我们是妻子！”
199、（14）少女进而变成妻子，青年小伙进而变成丈夫。
这一点在前面已经讲过。少女转变为妻子是因为她获得了她从前不具有的因素。青年小伙变丈夫，因为他从妻子那里获得了他从前不具有的因素。这增强了他接受爱和智慧的能力。这是拥有真正的婚姻之爱的人的情境，这些人中有些会感到夫妻双方好象是一个人一样。
从我在精神世界中的经历中我更确认了这点：
一些男人说自己妻子的关系在婚前婚后并没有什么区别。他们的妻子却完全不这样认为。她说：“完全不同的，就象是幻想和现实是完全不同的一样。”
听到这些，男人们说：“你们难道不和从前一样是女人吗？”听到这妻子们提高声音说：“我们不是‘女人’，而是妻子。”
男人们说：“你们只不过是结了婚的女人。”妻子们回答：“在初期我们是结了婚的女人，但现在我们是妻子。”
199. (xiv) In this way a young woman is formed into a wife, and a young man into a husband.
This consequence flows from what was said in the earlier parts of this chapter, and in the preceding chapter on married couples being linked so as to be one flesh. A young woman becomes or is made a wife, because a wife possesses elements taken from her husband and so additional, which she did not have before as an unmarried young woman. A young man becomes or is made a husband, because a husband possesses elements taken from his wife, which increase his ability to receive love and wisdom; these he did not have as a young man. These effects take place in the case of those who enjoy truly conjugial love. These, as may be seen in the last chapter (178), are among those who feel themselves a united person, and, as it were, one flesh. It is obvious from this that the character of a young woman is changed into a wifely one in the case of women, and the youthful character into a marital one in the case of men.
[2] The following experience in the spiritual world proved the truth of this to me. Certain men claimed that being linked with a woman before marriage was just like being linked with a wife after marriage. On hearing this the wives were extremely angry and said, 'In fact it is nothing like it; they are as different as what is imaginary and what is real.' The men replied to this, 'Are you not women as you were before?' To that the wives replied in a louder voice, 'We are not women, we are wives. You are experiencing imaginary, not real, love, and this is empty talk of yours.' Then the men said, 'If you are not women, at least you are females.' 'At the beginning of our marriages,' they replied, 'we were females, but now we are wives.'
199. 14. A maiden is thus transformed into a wife, and a youth into a husband. This follows as a consequence from what we have already said in this and the previous chapter respecting the union of married partners into one flesh. A maiden turns or is turned into a wife because a wife has elements in her taken from her husband, thus elements acquired which did not exist in her before as an unmarried woman. A youth turns or is turned into a husband because a husband has elements in him taken from his wife, which heighten the capacity in him for receiving love and wisdom, elements which did not exist in him before as an unmarried man. However, this is the case with people who are in a state of truly conjugial love. Among them are some who feel as though they are a united person and virtually one flesh (as may be seen in the preceding chapter, no. 178).
It is apparent from this that a maidenly state is transformed into a wifely one in women, and a youthful state into a husbandly one in men.
[2] I was convinced of the fact of this from the following experience in the spiritual world:
Some men said that the relationship a man has with a woman before marriage and the relationship he has with his wife after marriage are similar. When they heard this, their wives became very offended and said, "They are not at all alike! The difference is as the difference between fantasy and reality."
To this the men retorted, "Are you not women as before?" To which their wives responded with rising voice, "We are not 'women' but wives! The love you feel is a fantasy love and not a real one; therefore you speak in fantasy terms."
The men then said, "If you are not 'women,' still you are married women." But they replied, "In the early days of marriage we were married women; now, however, we are wives."
199. 14. In this way a virgin is made into a wife and a young man into a husband. This springs as a consequence from previous things in this chapter and in the chapter before it about married partners joining into one flesh. A virgin becomes, or is made, a wife because in a wife are things taken out of her husband, and in this way adopted, that were not in her before as a virgin. A young man becomes, or is made into, a husband because in a husband are things taken from his wife that make him more able to receive love and wisdom - things that were not in him before as a young man. But these things are for those who enjoy the real love in marriage. (In the last chapter, no. 178, it showed that the real love in marriage is between those who feel they are an integrated person and just like one flesh.) From these things it is clear that the virginal state changes into a wifely state for women, and the state of young manhood changes into the state of a husband for men.
An experience in the spiritual world convinced me that this is so. Some men said that being together with a woman before marriage was the same as being together with a wife after marriage.
When the wives heard this they were very indignant and said, "There's simply no comparison! It's as different as fantasy and reality!"
To this the men came back, "You're females the same as before, aren't you?"
The wives raised their voice at this and answered, "We aren't
'females,' but wives! You're infatuated and not in real love, so you're talking foolishly."
Then the men said, "If you're not females, you're still women."
They answered, "When we were first married we were women, but now we're wives."
199. XIV. THAT THUS A VIRGIN IS FORMED INTO A WIFE, AND A YOUNG MAN INTO A HUSBAND. This follows as a consequence from what has previously been said in the present and the preceding chapter on the conjunction of married partners into one flesh. That a virgin becomes or is made a wife is because, in a wife are things taken from the husband and thus acquired, which were not in her before as a virgin. That a young man becomes or is made a husband is because, in a husband are things taken from the wife which were not in him before as a young man, and in him these exalt his capability of receiving love and wisdom. This, however, is the case with those who are in love truly conjugial. That these are among those who feel themselves to be a united man and as one flesh, can be seen in the preceding chapter (no. 178). It is clear from this, that with women the virginal is changed into the wifely, and with men, the youthful into the marital.
[2] That such is the case, of this I had confirmation from the following experience in the spiritual world: Certain men said that conjunction with a female before marriage is the same as conjunction with a wife after marriage. On hearing this, the wives were exceedingly indignant and said, "There is no similarity whatsoever; the difference between them is like the difference between the fatuous and the real," to which the men retorted, "Are you not females as before?" At this the wives replied in a louder voice, "We are not females but wives. You are in fatuous love, not in real; therefore you talk foolishly." The men then said, "If not females, you are yet married women." They replied, "In the first days of marriage we were married women, but now we are wives."
199. (xiv) Thus a virgin is formed into a wife, and a young man into a husband. This follows as a consequence from what precedes in this chapter and in the earlier chapter on the conjunction of partners into one flesh. A virgin becomes or is made into a wife for the reason that in a wife are things taken from the husband, and thus supplemental, which were not in her previously as a virgin. The youth becomes or is made a husband for the reason that there are in the husband things taken from the wife which exalt his susceptibility to love and wisdom, which were not in him earlier as a youth. But this applies to such as are in true marital love. See in the preceding chapter (178) how it applies to those who feel themselves a united man and thus one flesh. From this it is plain that the virginal is changed into the wifely in women, and the juvenile into the husbandly in men. The fact has been verified to me by much experience in the spiritual world. Certain men said that conjunction with a woman before marriage is like conjunction with a wife after marriage. Hearing this, the wives were highly indignant, and said, "There is no similarity at all! There is all the difference between the illusory and the real." To this the men returned, "Are you not females as before?" To this the wives replied more loudly, "We are not females, but wives; you are in illusory and not in real love, and therefore you speak foolishly." Then the men said, "If you are not females, still you are women." And they replied, "We were women at the beginning of marriage; but now we are wives."
199. (14) That the virgin is thus formed into a wife, and the young man into a husband. This follows as a consequence from what has gone before, in this chapter and in the preceding chapter, respecting the conjunction of married partners into one flesh. The virgin becomes or is made a wife by the fact that in a wife are things taken from the husband, and thus supplementary things that were not in her before, as a virgin. The young man becomes or is made a husband by the fact that in a husband are things taken from the wife, which exalt with him his receptibility of love and wisdom, things which were not in him before, as a young man. But this comes to pass with those who are in love truly conjugial; it is between those who feel themselves to be a united man, and as one flesh, as may be seen in the preceding chapter, n. 178. It is clear from this that with women what was virginal is changed to what is wifely, and with men what was youthful is changed to marital. That this is so I have been assured by this experience, in the spiritual world: Certain men said that conjunction with a female before marriage was similar to conjunction with a wife after marriage. The wives were very indignant at hearing this, and said, 'There is actually no likeness. The difference is as between the unreal and the real.' To which the men retorted, 'Are you not females just as before?' The wives responded, with louder voice, 'We are not females, but wives. You are in fatuous and not in real love, and therefore, talk foolishly.' The men then said, 'If not females, you are yet women.' They replied, 'In the first states of marriage we were women, but now we are wives.'
199. XIV: Quod sic formetur virgo in uxorem, et juvenis in maritum. Hoc fluit ut consequens ex antecedentibus in hoc Capite, et in Capite priori de Conjunctione Conjugum in unam carnem. Quod Virgo fiat aut facta sit uxor, est quia in uxore sunt desumpta e marito, et sic adscititia, quae non prius in illa ut virgine fuerunt; quod juvenis fiat aut factus sit maritus, est quia in marito sunt desumpta ex uxore, quae receptibilitatem amoris et sapientiae apud illum exaltant, quae non prius in illo ut juvene fuerunt; sed haec apud illos, qui in amore vere conjugiali sunt; quod sint inter hos, qui se sentiunt unitum hominem, et sicut unam carnem, videatur in Capite praecedente, 178; ex his patet, quod Virgineum mutetur in Uxoreum apud foeminas, ac Juvenile in Maritale apud viros.
[2] Quod ita sit, in Mundo spirituali confirmatus sum ex hac experientia; dixerunt quidam Viri, quod conjunctio cum foemina ante conjugium, sit similis conjunctioni cum uxore post conjugium; quibus auditis, uxores valde indignatae sunt, et dixerunt, "est plane nulla similitudo; est discrimen sicut inter fatuum et reale;" ad quae viri regesserunt, "estisne foeminae sicut prius;" ad quae uxores voce altiore responderunt, "non sumus foeminae, sed uxores; vos in fatuo et non in reali amore estis, quare fatue loquimini;" tunc viri dicebant, "si non foeminae, attamen estis mulieres;" et respondebant, "in primitiis conjugii fuimus mulieres, at nunc sumus uxores."