200、⒂在有真正的婚姻之爱存在于其中的一个男人和一个妻子的婚姻中，妻子越来越变成一个妻子，丈夫越来越变成一个丈夫。真正的婚姻之爱将两个人越来越联结为一个人（参看178，179节）。妻子通过与丈夫联结并照此联结而成为一个妻子；同样，丈夫通过与妻子联结而成为一个丈夫；并且真正的婚姻之爱会持续到永远。从这两个事实可推知：妻子越来越变成一个妻子，丈夫越来越变成一个丈夫。真正原因在于，在出于真正婚姻之爱的婚姻中，夫妻双方都越来越变成内在的人；事实上，这爱能打开他们心智的内层，并且随着心智内层的打开，他们都越来越变成一个人。就妻子而言，越来越变成一个人意味着越来越变成一个妻子；就丈夫而言，越来越变成一个人则意味着越来越变成一个丈夫。我从天使那里听说，妻子随着丈夫越来越变成一个丈夫而越来越变成一个妻子，但反过来不行。这是因为贞洁的妻子很少有不爱自己丈夫的，而丈夫却有可能不反过来爱她。这是由于丈夫没有提升自己的智慧，而他能接受妻子之爱的唯一途径就是提升智慧（关于该智慧，可参看130，163-165节）。不过，这些话是针对世上的婚姻说的。
200、（15）在有真正婚姻之爱的一夫一妻的婚姻中，妻子越来越成为妻子，丈夫越来越成为丈夫。
这点可以从177和178中看到，真正的婚姻之爱使夫妇双方越来越成为一个人，因为妻子通过这种结合而成为妻子，丈夫通过这种结合而成为丈夫，又因为真正的婚姻之爱是永恒的，所以妻子会越来越成为妻子，而丈夫越来越成为丈夫。
这其中最本质的原因就是真正的婚姻之爱中，夫妻双方越来越成为真正的人。这种爱能开启他们的头脑，头脑得到开启后，人就越成为人，妻子越成为妻子，丈夫越成为丈夫。
我听天使说妻子在丈夫越成为丈夫时，她自身越成为妻子，反之则不然。这是因为贞洁的妻子不会爱她的丈夫，有时她可能不为她的丈夫所爱。
这种情况的原因是丈夫的智慧没有达到一定层次。（但天使们说这只是世间婚姻中会存在的情况）
200. (xv) In the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom truly conjugial love exists, the wife becomes more and more a wife, the husband more and more a husband.
Truly conjugial love links two people more and more into a single person; see above (178-179). A wife becomes a wife by being linked with her husband and in proportion to this, likewise a husband with his wife; and truly conjugial love lasts for ever. It follows from these two facts that a wife becomes more and more a wife, and a husband more and more a husband. The real reason is that in a marriage of truly conjugial love each partner becomes a more and more inward person, for that love opens up the inner regions of their minds, and, as this happens, each becomes more and more a person. In the case of a wife becoming more a person means more a wife, and in the case of a husband more a husband.
I have heard from angels that a wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband, but the reverse does not hold. This is because rarely, if ever, does a chaste wife fail to love her husband, but the husband may fail to love her in return. This is due to the lack of any raising of his wisdom, which is the only way he can receive his wife's love (on this wisdom 130, 163-165). But these remarks were made about marriages on earth.
200. 15. In a marriage of one man with one wife, in which there is a truly conjugial love between them, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. It may be seen above in nos. 177, 178, that truly conjugial love joins two partners more and more into one person. So, because a wife becomes a wife by union with her husband and according to that union, likewise a husband a husband by union with his wife and according to it, and because truly conjugial love lasts to eternity, it follows that a wife becomes more and more a wife, and a husband more and more a husband.
The fundamental reason for this is that in a marriage of truly conjugial love, each partner becomes more and more deeply human, for that love opens the deeper aspects of their minds, and as these are opened, a person becomes more and more human. To become more human is, on the part of a wife, to become more a wife; and on the part of a husband, to become more a husband.
I have heard from angels that a wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband; however, not so much the reverse. The reason, they said, is that a chaste wife rarely if ever fails to love her husband, but what fails is her being loved by her husband in return. They also said that this failure is attributable to a lack of elevation in his wisdom, which alone receives the love of a wife. (Respecting this wisdom, see nos. 130, 163-165.) But this they said in reference to marriages on earth.
200. 15. In a marriage of one man with one wife, sharing real married love, the wife becomes more and more a wife and the husband more and more a husband. Real married love joins two more and more into one person (see nos. 178-179 above). And a wife becomes a wife by conjunction with her husband and according to it. The same goes for a husband's conjunction with his wife. And the real love of marriage goes on to eternity. So consequently a wife becomes more and more a wife and a husband more and more a husband.
The reason for this is precisely that in a marriage with real married love, both become more and more inwardly human. For that love opens the deeper parts of their minds, and a person becomes more and more human as these are opened. To become more human, for a wife, is to become more a wife, and for a husband it is to become more a husband.
I have heard from angels that a wife becomes more and more a wife at the rate that her husband becomes more and more a husband but not vice versa. For a chaste wife loves her husbandthis is rarely if ever missing - but love from a husband in return does fail. It is missing if his wisdom is not being raised up. Wisdom is the only thing that receives a wife's love. (See nos. 130, 163-65 about this wisdom). But the angels said these things about marriages on earth.
200. XV. THAT IN THE MARRIAGE OF ONE MAN WITH ONE WIFE BETWEEN WHOM THERE IS LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, THE WIFE BECOMES MORE AND MORE A WIFE, AND THE HUSBAND MORE AND MORE A HUSBAND. That love truly conjugial conjoins two more and more into one man may be seen above (nos. 178, 179); and because the wife becomes a wife from conjunction with her husband and according to it, likewise the husband from conjunction with his wife; and because love truly conjugial endures to eternity, it follows that the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. The reason is, because in a marriage of love truly conjugial, each becomes an ever more interior man; for that love opens the interiors of their minds, and as these are opened man becomes more and more a man. To become more a man is, on the part of the wife, to become more a wife, and on the part of the husband, to become more a husband. I have heard from angels, that a wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband, but not the reverse, for rarely if ever is it lacking that a chaste wife loves her husband. What is lacking is love in return on the part of the husband; and this is lacking on account of there being no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives a wife's love. Respecting this wisdom, see nos. 130,163-165. This, however, is said of marriages on earth.
200. (xv) In a marriage of one man with one wife between whom is true marital love, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. True marital love increasingly unites two into one human being (see above, n. 178-179). As a wife becomes a wife from and according to conjunction with her husband, the husband also becomes a husband through conjunction with his wife. And because true marital love persists to eternity, it follows that a wife becomes more and more a wife, and a husband more and more a husband. The ultimate reason is that in a marriage of true marital love each becomes a more and more interior human being. For this love opens the interiors of the mind, and as these are opened, the human being becomes more and more a human being, which for the wife is to become more a wife, and for the husband to become more a husband. I have heard from angels that the wife becomes a wife more and more as the husband becomes a husband more and more, but not the other way about. For rarely if ever does a chaste wife fail to love the husband, but the return of love by the husband may fail. It fails because of no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the wife's love (of this wisdom see 130, 163-165). They were speaking of marriages on earth.
200. (15) That in the marriage of one man with one wife, between whom there is love truly conjugial, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. It may be seen above at n. 178, 179, that love truly conjugial conjoins the two into one man more and more. And, as the wife becomes a wife from conjunction with her husband and according to it, in like manner the husband from conjunction with the wife; and as love truly conjugial endures to eternity, it follows that the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. The very cause is, that in a marriage which is of love truly conjugial each becomes a more and more interior man (Latin: homo); for that love opens the interiors of their minds, and as these are opened man becomes more and more a man (Latin: homo), and to become more a man on the part of the wife is to become the more a wife, and on the part of the husband it is to become the more a husband. I have heard from the angels that a wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband, but not the reverse. Because it rarely if ever fails that a chaste wife loves her husband, but the husband fails to love in return, and fails for the reason that there is no elevation of wisdom, which alone receives the wife's love; respecting which wisdom see n. 130, 163-165. But these things are said of marriages on earth.
200. XV: Quod in Conjugio unius viri cum una uxore, inter quos est amor vere conjugialis, uxor fiat plus et plus uxor, et maritus plus et plus maritus. Quod Amor vere conjugialis plus et plus conjungat duos in unum hominem, videatur supra 177, 178; 1et quia uxor fit uxor ex conjunctione et secundum illam cum marito, similiter maritus cum uxore; et quia amor vere conjugialis perstat in aeternum, sequitur, quod uxor fiat plus et plus uxor, ac maritus plus et plus maritus: ipsa causa est, quia in Conjugio amoris vere conjugialis uterque fit interior et interior homo, ille amor enim aperit interiora mentium illorum, et sicut haec aperiuntur, homo fit plus et plus homo, ac fieri plus homo apud uxorem est fieri plus uxor, et apud maritum est fieri plus maritus. Audivi ab angelis, quod uxor fiat plus et plus uxor sicut maritus fit plus et plus maritus, non autem ita vicissim; quia raro si usquam deest, quin casta uxor amet maritum, sed quod desit redamatio a marito; et quod haec desit propter non aliquam elevationem sapientiae, quae unice recipit amorem uxoris; de qua sapientia videatur 130, 163, 164, 165. Sed haec dixerunt de Conjugiis in terris.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: 178, 179;