5983. How much the love of ruling is opposed to the Lord
Fred[erik] Gyll[enborg] 1
How much hatred he had for the Lord was evident from the fact that from the time he came into the other life he began to hate those whom the Lord protected; thus he was opposed to the Lord. He then took up praying to the Father and gave various convincing reasons why he should be allowed to be in a ruling position (particularly for the purpose of killing me), which he was actually kept from being in many times. But still he did this in every way, and more and more, to the point that in the end he wanted nothing other than to murder me. Whomever he won over with his tricks and persuasive talk he gave the command to harm me. In time they were set on me in organized gangs. They attacked me long and hard in my chest, breathing their breath into me, which he himself did also, and was also often punished, but in vain. At the end, when he was unable to look me in the face, he persuaded gangs to attack me in a similar way from places at a distance from where he was.
[2] After many punishments he finally suffered the last and most severe punishment, but still, during this he said that he would rather suffer death than desist from killing me, even when he was almost in the agony of death, so that the delight of hatred for the Lord was so great in him that it surpassed the delight of being alive. Whenever he came to himself he said that he had nothing against me personally, but nevertheless he could not desist at all because it was extremely delightful. It was said to him that this [action] is against the Lord, but he regarded the Lord as nothing. From this is evident how much hatred for the Lord is present in such love of ruling.
Footnotes:
1. For information on this person see footnote for passage 4704.
5983. HOW GREATLY THE LOVE OF RULING IS OPPOSED TO THE LORD. FRED[ERIC] GYLL[ENBORG].
How much hatred he cherished against the Lord was evident from this: that, from the time he entered the other life, he began to entertain hatred towards those whom the Lord protected, consequently against the Lord Himself. Then he began to pray to the Father; and to show by various arguments that he was authorized to rule - principally in order to kill me; which, also, was as often forbidden him, but yet he attempted it in every possible way; and this more and more, until, at length, he wished nothing else but to consign me to slaughter. He enticed everyone by his arts and persuasions. He gave command that they should do me harm. At length they were sent in crowds, and infested me long and severely, in the breast, by breathing in their respirations which he himself did also, and likewise was frequently punished, but to no purpose. At length, when he was unable to look at me, he persuaded crowds to infest me in that manner, from the places, and at the distances, where he was. After many punishments, he at length suffered the last and hardest but, yet, during this punishment he said he would rather die than desist from killing me, even when he was almost spent; so that the delight of his hatred against the Lord was so great as to surpass the love of life. As often as he returned to himself he said that he had nothing against my person, but that, still, he could nohow refrain, because it was such a great delight. He was told that this is opposed to the Lord; but he had no regard for the Lord whatever. Hence was evident how great a hatred against the Lord inheres in such love of ruling.
5983. Quantum amor imperandi contra Dominum est
Fred. Gyll.
Quantum odium ei fuerit contra Dominum, ex eo patuit, quod a tempore cum venit in alteram vitam, inceperit odio habere illos, quos Dominus tutatur, ita contra ipsum Dominum; cepit tunc orare Patrem, et variis argumentis evincere, ut liceret ei dominari, imprimis ut me interficeret, quod etiam toties prohibitum ei fuit, sed usque omni modo fecit, et hoc magis et magis, usque ut tandem nihil aliud vellet quam me neci dare, quoscunque suis artibus et persuasionibus allexit, dedit in mandato ut mihi malum facerent, mittebantur tandem turmatim, qui me in pectore valde et diu infestarunt, insufflando suas respirationes, quod etiam ipse fecit, et saepe quoque punitus, sed incassum, tandem cum non potuit me aspicere, persuasit turmis ut me similiter infestarent e locis et distantiis ubi esset; post plures poenas tandem ultimam et durissimam passus, sed usque in hac poena dixit quod potius mori vellet quam desistere a me occidendo, etiam cum paene erat in agone, sic ut jucundum odii contra Dominum ei esset tantum, ut superaret jucundum vitae: quoties ad se rediit, dixit quod nihil contra meam personam haberet, sed usque quod nequaquam desistere posset quia jucundissimum; dictum ei quod hoc sit contra Dominum, sed Dominum nihil aestimavit; inde patuit quantum odium contra Dominum inest amori imperandi tali.