306、⑽当订婚期结束时，应举行婚礼。有些仪式纯粹是例行公事，但有些同时也是必不可少的；婚礼就属于后一类。以下理由将证实，婚礼属于必不可少的那一类，应通过仪式和正式庆祝公之于众：
①婚礼标志着始于订婚的前一个状态的结束；该状态主要是灵的状态，是通过婚姻被引入的随后状态的开始；随后的状态既是灵的状态，同时也是身体的状态。因为这时，灵融入身体，并在此起作用。因此，自这天起，新郎和新娘就脱去订婚的状态和名称，披上丈夫和妻子的状态和名称，成为床上配偶。
②婚礼就是引入并融入一个新的状态，这使得少女变成妻子，少男变成丈夫，他们二人便成为一体。当爱将他们在最低层联结起来时，这一切就会实现。我在前面章节已说明，婚姻实实在在将一个少女变成一个妻子，将一个少男变成一个丈夫；还说明，婚姻将两个人连合为一个人的形式，以致他们不再是两个，乃是一体的了。
③婚礼是通向两性情爱与婚姻之爱彻底分离的起点。当一个配偶的爱通过充分结合的机会而限定并专注于另一个配偶的爱时，这一切就实现了。
④婚礼看上去似乎只是这两种状态之间的间隔，以至于只是一道可忽略的程序。殊不知，婚礼还包含这样一种必不可少的元素，即：此时，刚才所描述的新状态要通过一个约才能进入，双方必须当着见证人的面宣布同意；而且这同意必须由牧师祝圣，此外还有其它使其牢固确立的方法。由于婚礼包含这样一种必不可少的元素，并且只有婚礼过后，婚姻才是合法的，所以在天上，婚礼也要庆祝（参看21，27-41节）。
306、（10）订婚后一段时间，应该举行婚礼。
有些仪式只不过是形式而已，但有些却是必要的，婚礼就是这样的。婚礼要被见证并庆祝，原因如下：
1、婚礼宣示着订婚期的结束。订婚期是一种精神上的状态。婚姻期既是精神的状态，又是躯体的状态，因为那时精神会进入躯钵并起到作用。因此，在婚礼那天，两个人不再是订婚状态了，而是身体上相互结合的婚姻中的配偶了。
2、婚礼使双方进入一个新的状态。年轻姑娘变成了妻子，年轻小伙变成了丈夫。两人会成为一体。在前面章节中讲过，婚姻会使少女变成妻子，小伙变成丈夫，将二人变成一人，使他们不再是二个，而是一个。
3、婚礼会指引他们将对异性的爱从婚姻之爱中分离出来。使一方的爱完全投入到另一方中。
4、表面上看，婚姻只是划分了前后两种状态的界限，好象只是一种可以免去的形式。但是婚礼中却有一个重要的因素，也就是今后要进入的这种状态是要有契约的。要有人见证对方的态度，必须有牧师来主持，还有其它事情一起来使婚姻成立。
因为婚礼中有很重要的事情，没有经过婚礼的婚姻是不合法的，所以天国中也有婚礼。参见21节以及27-41节。
306. (x) When the period of the engagement is over, the wedding should take place.
Some rituals are mere formalities, but there are others which are at the same time essential; weddings belong to the latter class. The following reasons will confirm that they are of the essential type, to be made public by ritual and formally celebrated.
1. A wedding puts an end to the earlier state which began with the engagement; this was primarily a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the subsequent state to be introduced by the marriage, which is a state at once of spirit and of body. For the spirit then enters into the body and acts at that level. Accordingly on that day the bridegroom and bride abandon their engaged state and name, and assume the state and name of husband and wife and become bedfellows.
2. A wedding is the introduction and entry into a new state, which is to make a young woman a wife and the young man a husband, so that the two of them become one flesh. This happens when love unites them at the lowest level. I showed in earlier chapters that marriage really changes a young woman into a wife and a young man into a husband; and also that marriage unites two people into one human form, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.
3. A wedding is the starting point which leads to the complete separation of sexual love from conjugial love. This happens when through the opportunity for full union the love of one partner becomes restricted and devoted to the love of the other.
4. 1It looks as if a wedding is merely the gap between these two states, so that it is a mere formality which can be omitted. But a wedding contains this essential element, that the new state just described is then to be entered upon by a compact, and the parties must declare their consent in the presence of witnesses, and it must be consecrated by a priest, as well as the other means which firmly establish it. Since weddings contain this essential element, and since only after this is a marriage lawful, weddings are therefore also celebrated in the heavens (21 and then 27-41 above).
306. 10. After the period of their betrothal has been completed, the wedding should take place. Some ceremonies are simply formalities, and some are at the same time also essential. Among the latter are weddings. To confirm that weddings are among those that are essential which ought to be duly witnessed and formally celebrated, we cite the following reasons:
1. A wedding marks the end of the former state inaugurated by betrothal, which was primarily a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the following state about to be inaugurated by marriage, which is a state simultaneously of the spirit and body; for the spirit then descends into the body and expresses itself there. Therefore on that day they put off the state and also the name of a couple engaged or promised, and take on the state and name of married partners and a couple united in the flesh.
2. A wedding introduces and initiates them into the new state, the effect of which is to encourage the young woman to become a wife and the young man a husband, that the two may become one flesh. These goals are achieved when they are united by love through its ultimate expressions. We have already shown in previous discussions that marriage actually transforms a maiden into a wife and a youth into a husband, 1and also that marriage unites a couple into a single human form so that they are no longer two but one flesh. 2
3. A wedding guides them to a complete separation of love for the opposite sex from conjugial love, a separation that is achieved when through full opportunity for conjunction the love of the one becomes exclusively devoted to the love of the other.
4. It seems in appearance as though weddings serve only to demarcate the point between the two aforementioned states, and thus that they are simply a formality which may be omitted. But there is in them also this further and essential element, and that is that the new state referred to must then be entered into by covenant, with the consent of the couple declared in the presence of witnesses, and that it must also be solemnized by a priest, among other things, which serve to firmly establish it.
Since weddings include elements that are essential, and since a legitimate marriage is not formed until after them, therefore weddings are celebrated also in heaven, as may be seen above in no. 21, and after that in nos. 27-41.
Footnotes:
1. See, for example, no. 199.
2. See, for example, nos. 177, 178.
306. 10. After a the period of engagement, there should be a wedding.
There are ceremonies that are only formalities, and there are ceremonies that are formalities and essentials at the same time.
Weddings are among the latter. The reasons that follow establish that weddings are among the essential things that should be religiously made public and formally celebrated.
(a) The wedding ends the previous state begun with a commitment - which was mainly a state of spirit - and it begins the later state to be begun by marriage. This is a spiritual and bodily state at the same time, for then your spirit enters your body and directs from there. Therefore, on that day the couple drop the state and name of bride and groom and put on the state and name of spouses and bed companions.
(b) The wedding is an introduction and entrance to a new state, which is such that the young woman becomes a wife and the young man a husband, and both of them one flesh. This happens when love unites them through the most outward plane.
Earlier pages showed that marriage does in fact change a young woman into a wife and a young man into a husband, and also that marriage unites two into one human form so that they are no longer two but one flesh.
(c) The wedding is a step toward fully separating love for the other sex from married love. This happens as the consent of one person's love becomes bound to the other person's love through a full opportunity to join together.
(d) It seems as if the wedding only fills the gap between those two states and thus is just a formality that can be omitted.
But all the while this essential thing is in it - that the new state already mentioned is to be entered then with a covenant, and consent is to be declared in the presence of witnesses and also consecrated by a priest, besides the other things that make it last.
Since there are essential things in a wedding, and since a marriage becomes legitimate only after it, they celebrate weddings in heaven, too (see no. 21, above, and later nos. 27-41).
306. X. THAT WHEN THE TIME OF BETROTHAL IS COMPLETED, THE WEDDING OUGHT TO TAKE PLACE. There are ceremonies which are merely formal, and ceremonies which are also essential. Among the latter are weddings. That these are classed among essentials to be publicly solemnized and formally celebrated, is confirmed by the following reasons: 1. That the wedding marks the end of the previous state inaugurated by betrothal, which was principally a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the later state to be inaugurated by marriage, which is a state of the spirit and at the same time of the body; for then the spirit enters the body and there acts. On that day, therefore, they put off the state and also the name of bridegroom and bride and put on the state and name of married partners and consorts of the bed. 2. That the wedding is an introduction and entrance into a new state, and this that the virgin may become a wife and the young man a husband, and the two one flesh. This they do become when love unites them by ultimates. That marriage does actually change the virgin into a wife and the young man into a husband, has been shown in preceding pages, as also that marriage unites the two into one human form so that they are no more two but one flesh. 3. That the wedding is the entering into a complete separation of love of the sex from conjugial love. This is effected when, through full opportunity for conjunction, there comes an exclusive devotion of the love of the one consort to the love of the other. 4. It appears as if the wedding merely marks the interval between these two states, and thus that it is a mere formality which may be omitted; yet, in the wedding there is also the essential element, that the new state mentioned above is then to be entered into by a covenant, and that consent is to be declared in the presence of witnesses and also to be consecrated by a priest, besides other things whereby it is established. Since the wedding involves essentials, and not until after it, does the marriage become legitimate, therefore weddings are celebrated in the heavens also. See above, no. 21, and what follows in nos. 27-41.
306. (x) On the completion of the period of betrothal, the wedding should take place. There are ceremonies which are only formal, and ceremonies which are also essential. Among the latter are weddings. The following reasons establish the fact that weddings are among essentials, to be solemnly observed and formally celebrated. 1. Nuptials put an end to the previous state inaugurated by betrothal, which was chiefly a state of the spirit, and make the beginning of the succeeding state to be inaugurated through marriage, which is a state of the spirit and of the body at the same time. For then the spirit enters the body and acts there. Therefore on the wedding-day they put off the state and also the name of bridegroom and bride, and put on the state and the name of partners and bed-fellows. 2. The wedding is the introduction and entrance to the new state, in which the young woman becomes a wife, and the young man a husband, and the two one flesh. This they become when their love unites them in its final expression. We showed in earlier chapters that marriage actually changes a young woman into a wife, and a young man into a husband; also, that marriage unites the two into one human form, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. 3. The wedding begins the complete separation of love for the sex from marital love, which is effected when in full opportunity for conjunction there is exclusive devotion of the love of the one to the love of the other. 5. The wedding seems to constitute only a point between those two states, and so to be a formality only, which can be omitted; but still there is also this essential in it, that the new state before-mentioned is then to be entered under covenant, and that consent is to be declared in the presence of witnesses and consecrated by a priest, besides other things which establish it. Weddings are also celebrated in heaven (see above, n.21, and again, n. 27-41), because there are essentials in the nuptials and not until after them does lawful marriage take place.
306. (10) That when the time of betrothal is completed the nuptials ought to take place. There are solemn ceremonies which are only formal, and there are solemnities which are at the same time also essential. Among these are nuptials. That they are among the essential things which ought to be solemnly published, and formally celebrated, the following reasons confirm: (1) That the nuptials make an end of the state before inaugurated by the betrothal, which was chiefly a state of the spirit, and the beginning of the following state to be inaugurated by marriage, which is at the same time of the spirit and of the body; for then the spirit enters into the body and acts there; wherefore on that day they put off the state, and also the name of bridegroom and bride, and put on the state and name of married partners and consorts of the bed. (2) That the nuptials are an introduction and entrance into a new state, -which is, that the maiden becomes a wife and the youth a husband, and the two one flesh; which is brought into effect when love unites them by ultimates. That marriage does actually change the maiden into a wife, and the youth into a husband, has been shown in former pages; as also that marriage unites the two into one human form, so that they are no more twain but one flesh. (3) That the nuptials are the entering into complete separation of the love of the sex from conjugial love, which comes into effect when through full opportunity for conjunction there takes place the close devotion of the love of the one to the love of the other. (4) It appears as if the nuptials only Mark the interval between those two states, and thus that they are mere formalities which might be omitted; but there is nevertheless this essential also in them, that the new state, before mentioned, is then to be entered into according to the covenant, and that the consent is to be declared in the presence of witnesses, and to be consecrated also by a priest, besides other things which establish it. Because nuptials are essential, and because not until after them does lawful marriage take place, therefore, nuptials are celebrated in the heavens also. See above at n. 21, and after at n. 27-41.
306. X: Quod post exactum tempus desponsationis fieri debeant nuptiae. Dantur Solennia, quae modo sunt formalia, et dantur Solennia, quae simul etiam sunt essentialia; inter haec sunt Nuptiae; quae quod sint inter essentialia, quae solenniter manifestanda sint, et formaliter celebranda, confirmant hae causae; 1. Quod Nuptiae faciant finem status prioris inaugurati per desponsationem, qui principaliter fuit status spiritus, ac initium status posterioris inaugurandi per conjugium, qui simul est spiritus et corporis; intrat enim tunc spiritus in corpus, et ibi agit; quare eo die exuunt statum et quoque nomen sponsi et sponsae, ac induunt statum et nomen conjugum et consortium tori. 2. Quod Nuptiae sint introductio ac introitus in statum novum, qui est ut virgo fiat uxor, et juvenis maritus, ac uterque una caro; quae fiunt, dum amor per ultima unit illos: quod conjugium actualiter mutet virginem in uxorem, ac juvenem in maritum, in prioribus demonstratum est, tum etiam quod conjugium uniat duos in unam formam humanam, ut non sint duo amplius sed una caro: 3. Quod Nuptiae sint ingressus ad plenariam separationem amoris sexus ab amore conjugiali, quod fit dum per copiam plenam conjunctionis fit constricta addicatio amoris unius ad amorem alterius. 4. 1Apparet, sicut Nuptiae modo faciant interstitium inter duos illos status, et sic quod solum sint formalia, quae possunt omitti; sed usque est in illis etiam hoc essentiale, quod novus ille praememoratus status tunc ex foedere ineundus sit, ac quod consensus in praesentia testium declarandus, et quoque a sacerdote consecrandus, praeter alia, quae constabiliunt illum. Quoniam essentialia insunt nuptiis, et quoniam non prius quam post illas fit legitimum conjugium, ideo etiam Nuptiae celebrantur in Coelis, videatur supra 21: et post illa, 27-41.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: 5.