321、⑷凡以前与其配偶以真正的婚姻之爱共同生活的人都不愿再婚，除非出于婚姻之爱以外的原因。那些曾生活在真正婚姻之爱中的人不愿再婚的原因如下：
①他们在灵魂，因而在心智上联结。这种联结因是属灵的，故是双方灵魂和心智的一种实实在在的联结，绝无可能瓦解。我在前面各处已说明，这就是属灵联结的性质。
②他们还通过妻子接受丈夫灵魂的生殖元素，因而通过丈夫的生命被引入她的生命，以致她从少女变成妻子，另一方面通过丈夫接受妻子的婚姻之爱而在肉体上联结。妻子的婚姻之爱会调整丈夫心智的内在区域，同时调整其身体的内在和外在部位，以便能接受爱、觉知智慧；这种状态将他从一个少男变成一个丈夫（关于这些变化，可参看198，199节）。
③妻子所发出的爱之气场和丈夫所发出的理解气场不断流出，这会完善他们的联结；这种气场及其愉悦氛围包围并联结他们（参看223节）。
④在婚姻中如此联结的夫妻都思想和渴望永恒，而他们的永恒幸福就基于这种观念（参看216节）。
⑤这两个因素使得他们不再是两个人，而是一个人，也就是成为一体了。
⑥这样的一体不会因一方的死亡被打破，这在灵的视觉面前是显而易见的。
⑦对此，我再补充一个新观点：这二者不会因一方死亡而分开，因为亡者的灵与未亡者的灵不断生活在一起，直到另一方死亡。那时，他们会再度相逢，重新联结，比之前更温柔地爱着彼此，因为此时他们在灵界。
由此产生以下无可争辩的结果：那些以真正的婚姻之爱共同生活的人不愿再婚。如果配偶死后，他们订立了某种类似婚姻的契约，也是出于婚姻之爱以外的原因；这些原因都是外在的，如：家里有年幼的孩子需要照料；家大业大，有男仆女佣；因在外忙于事业，无瑕顾及家中事务；需要相互协助和服务，以及其它原因。
321、（4）与从前的伴侣有真正的婚姻之爱的人不希望再婚，除非是有与婚姻之爱无关的原因。这是因为：
1、因为他们在灵魂、思想上已经是相经结合的。这种结合是一种精神上的结合。这是使一人的灵魂和思想与另一个人的灵魂和思想相配对，这是任何情况下也不会消失的。（这就是和从前讲过的精神上的结合的性质）
2、因为他们还通过妻子对丈夫灵魂的繁衍而在躯体上相结合，丈夫的灵魂将其生命植于妻子之中。这样，一个少女变成了一个妻子；相反，丈夫通过接受妻子的婚姻之爱，丈夫的思想和身体的内在都进入一种可以接受爱和智慧的状态。这种状态将他从少年变成一个丈夫的身份（参见198、199节）
3、因为来自于妻子的爱的氛围还不断地散发出来，来自于丈夫的才智的氛围也不断地散发出来，这就保证了他们之间的联系。这种愉悦的氛围围绕着他们，使他们还继续相结合（见223节）
4、这种夫妇渴望他们永恒的婚姻，他们永恒的快乐是建立在那一思想之上。（见216节）
5、因为他们不再认为二者是两个人，而是一个人，是一体。
6、这种一体性不会因一方的死亡而消失。
7、因为二者不再因为一者的死亡而分离。一方的精神仍与一方的精神相依存，一直到另一方生命的尽头。那时他们会又到一起相互结合，彼此更加相爱，因为他们是处于精神世界中。
因此，拥有真正婚姻之爱的人不希望再婚。
如果后来他们确实又进入到一种象婚姻一样的情况中，那也是出于与婚姻之爱不相干的原因，这些原因都是外在的原因。比如说家中有小孩子，需要对他们的关爱。或者是大户人家，家中有男侍从。或家中事务忙而不能顾及家中事物。或者有要互相分担的职责等。
321. (iv) Those who had lived mutually in truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again, except for reasons which have nothing to do with conjugial love.
The reasons why those who had lived in truly conjugial love do not wish to remarry after the death of their partner are as follows:
1. Because they are united in their souls, and thus in their minds. This union, being spiritual, is the real attachment of the soul and mind of one to that of the other, and this cannot be undone. I have showed in many passages above that this is the nature of spiritual linking.
2. They are also physically united by the wife receiving the reproductive element of the husband's soul, and so by having his life introduced into her own, so that she turns from maiden into wife; and in the other case by the husband receiving the wife's conjugial love. This adjusts the inner regions of the mind, and at the same time the inner and outer parts of his body, to become capable of receiving love and perceiving wisdom, a state which turns him from a young man into a husband. (On these changes 198 above.)
3. The sphere of love emanating from the wife, and the sphere of intellect emanating from the husband are constantly flowing, so making their linking more perfect, and it surrounds them with its pleasant aura and unites them (see also 223 above).
4. A married couple who are thus united have their thoughts and aspirations fixed on eternity; and this idea is the foundation of their everlasting happiness (216).
5. These two factors are responsible for them being no longer two, but one person, that is, one flesh.
6. Such a one cannot be broken up by the death of the other, as is perfectly plain to the sight of the spirit.
7. To this I will add a new point. The two are still not parted by the death of one, since the spirit of the dead man or woman constantly lives with the spirit of the one who is not yet dead. This continues up to the death of the other, when they meet again and are re-united, loving each other more tenderly than before, because they are then in the spiritual world.
The incontrovertible consequence of these facts is that those who had lived in truly conjugial love do not wish to re-marry. If, however, they subsequently contract something like a marriage, this is for reasons which have nothing to do with conjugial love. All such reasons are outward ones; as for instance, if the household contains young children, and provision must be made for their care; if the household is wealthy and well provided with servants of either sex; if business abroad distracts the mind from family affairs at home; if there is need of mutual help and services, and other similar things.
321. 4. People who before had lived with their partners in a state of truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again, except for reasons dissociated from conjugial love. People who before had lived in a state of truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again after the death of their partner for the following reasons:
1. Because they have been united in respect to their souls and so in respect to their minds; and this union, being a spiritual one, is an actual coupling of the soul and mind of one to the soul and mind of the other, which cannot in any way be dissolved. (That this is the nature of spiritual union we have already shown here and there previously.)
[2] 2. Because they have been united also in respect to their bodies, by the wife's reception of the propagations of the husband's soul, and thus by an implantation of his life in hers, by which a maiden becomes a wife; and conversely by the husband's reception of the wife's conjugial love, which disposes the inner faculties of his mind and at the same time the inner and outer faculties of his body into a state capable of receiving love and perceiving wisdom, a state which turns him from a youth into a husband (on which subject, see nos. 198, 199 above).
[3] 3. Because an atmosphere of her love continues to emanate from the wife, and an atmosphere of his intellect from the husband; and this perfects the bonds between them, and with its pleasant ambience surrounds them and unites them (again, see above, no. 223).
[4] 4. Because married partners so united think of and yearn for eternity in their marriage, and eternal happiness for them is founded on that idea (see no. 216).
[5] 5. Because in consequence of the foregoing they are no longer two but one person, that is, one flesh.
[6] 6. Because such a oneness cannot be sundered by the death of the other partner - a fact manifestly evident to visual sight in the spirit.
[7] To these reasons we will add this new one:
7. Because the two are not actually separated by the death of one; for the spirit of the deceased continues to dwell with the spirit of the one not yet deceased, and this until the death of the other, at which time they come together again and are reunited, loving each other even more tenderly than before, because they are in the spiritual world.
From these circumstances comes the following inevitable result, that people who before had lived in a state of truly conjugial love do not wish to marry again.
If they nevertheless do afterwards enter into something like a marriage, it is for reasons dissociated from conjugial love; and these reasons are all external ones. As for example: If there are little children in the house and there is need to provide for their care. If the house is a large one, equipped with servants of both sexes. If responsibilities outside the house divert the mind from domestic concerns at home. If there is need for joint assistance and shared duties. And other like reasons.
321. 4. Those who have lived together in real married love do not want to marry again, unless for reasons not connected with married love.
These are the reasons why those who have lived in real married love do not want to remarry after their partner's death:
(a) As to souls and therefore as to minds they are united, and this uniting is an actual joining of one's soul and mind to the other's, because it is spiritual - a joining that absolutely cannot be dissolved. That a spiritual conjunction is like this has already been shown in various places.
(b) They are also united in body by the wife's receiving the propagations of her husband's soul, and thus by his life being put into hers - which turns a virgin into a wife. And, the other way around, they are united by the husband's receiving his wife's married love, which puts the inner parts of his mind, and at the same time the interiors and exteriors of his body, into a state to receive love and to perceive wisdom - which makes a young man into a husband (see no. 198, above, about these things).
(c) The sphere of love from the wife and the sphere of intellect from the man flows out all the time, it makes their marriage complete, and it surrounds them with its pleasant breath and unites them (also see no. 223, above).
(d) Couples united like this in marriage think and breathe permanence, and their eternal happiness is based on this idea (see no. 216).
(e) for all these reasons they are no longer two but one person - that is, one flesh.
(f) To spiritual eyes it is plainly clear that they cannot be torn apart by either one's death.
(g) This new thing should be added to these observations: that these two are not even separated by the death of one, since the spirit of the deceased husband or wife continues to live with the husband or wife who is not yet deceased. And this continues until the other one's death, when they meet again and reunite themselves and love each other more tenderly than before because they are in the spiritual world.
These things afford the undeniable conclusion that those who have lived in real married love do not want to remarry.
But if they do enter something like a marriage later, it takes place for reasons separate from married love, and these reasons are all external. For example, if there are small children in the home and their care must be seen to, if the home is large and furnished with servants of both sexes, if management of matters outside the home distracts the mind from family matters at home, if mutual help and services are necessary, and other things like that.
321. IV. THAT THOSE WHO HAVE LIVED TOGETHER IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL DO NOT WISH TO MARRY AGAIN, UNLESS FOR REASONS APART FROM CONJUGIAL LOVE. That those who have lived in love truly conjugial do not wish to marry again after the death of their partner is due to the following causes: 1. Because they were united as to souls and thence as to minds, and this unition, being spiritual, is an actual adjunction of the soul and mind of the one to the soul and mind of the other, which can never be dissolved; that such is the nature of spiritual conjunction, has been shown here and there above.
[2] 2. Because they were also united as to their bodies by the wife's reception of the propagations of her husband's soul, and thus by the insertion of his life into hers, whereby the virgin becomes a wife; and, on the other hand, by the husband's reception of the conjugial love of his wife, which disposes the interiors of his mind and at the same time the interiors and exteriors of his body into a state receptive of love and perceptive of wisdom--a state which changes him from a young man into a husband; respecting this, see above (no. 198).
[3] 3. Because a sphere of love flows forth continually from the wife, and a sphere of understanding from the man, and this perfects the conjunctions; that this sphere with its pleasant outpouring surrounds them and unites them, may also be seen above (no. 223).
[4] 4. Because partners thus united in marriage think and breathe what is eternal, and upon this idea is founded their eternal happiness; see above (no. 216).
[5] 5. It is by reason of the above recited causes that they are no more two but one man, that is, one flesh.
[6] 6. That such a one cannot be rended by the death of either partner is clearly manifest before the ocular sight of the spirit.
[7] 7. To the above causes may be added this new fact, that these two are not separated by the death of the one, since the spirit of the deceased partner dwells continually with the spirit of the one not yet deceased, and this until the death of the latter, when they meet again and reunite and love each other more tenderly than before because in the spiritual world. From all this follows the irrefragable consequence, that those who have lived in love truly conjugial do not wish to marry again. If, after the death of the partner, they contract something like marriage, it is done for reasons apart from conjugial love, and these reasons are all external, such as: If there are small children in the house and provision must be made for the care of them; if the house is large and provided with servants of both sexes; if forensic occupations withdraw the mind from family affairs in the home; if mutual aid and services are necessities; and other like reasons.
321. (iv) Those who have lived together in true marital love do not want to marry again, except for reasons aside from marital love. The following are reasons why those who have lived in true marital love do not wish to remarry after the partner's death: 1. They were united in soul and thus in mind; and this union, being spiritual, is an actual adjunction of the soul and mind of the one to those of the other, which can by no means be dissolved; we have already shown many times that there is such spiritual conjunction.
[2] 2. They were also united in body by the wife's reception of the husband's propagations of soul and thus by the introduction of his life into hers, by which a maiden becomes a wife; and in turn by the husband's reception of the wife's marital love, which disposes the mind's interiors and at the same time the body's interiors and exteriors into a state receptive of love and of wisdom, a state which makes the man from a young man into a husband (see above,198).
[3] 3. The sphere of love from the wife and the sphere of understanding from the man flow out continually and perfect the conjunction, enveloping the two with its pleasant breath and uniting them (also see above,223).
[4] 4. Partners so united in marriage think and breathe what is eternal, and their eternal happiness is based on the thought (see216).
[5] 5. For these reasons they are no longer two but one human being, that is, one flesh.
[6] 6. Such a unity cannot be torn asunder by the death of the partner, as is plain to the ocular vision of the spirit.
[7] 7. To these reasons this new information shall be added: two such partners are not so much as separated by the death of one of them. The spirit of the deceased partner dwells constantly with the spirit of the partner still living and does so to the latter's death, when they meet again, are reunited and love each other more tenderly than they did before, being in the spiritual world. The inevitable consequence is that those who have lived in true marital love do not wish to marry again. If they do contract something like marriage, they do so for reasons aside from marital love, and these reasons are all external; as that there are little ones in the home, for whose care provision must be made; or that the home is large, furnished with servants of both sexes; that occupations outside the home take the mind off domestic affairs; that mutual aid and duties require it; and other like reasons.
321. (4) That those who have lived together in love truly conjugial do not wish to marry again, unless for reasons apart from conjugial love. Why those who have lived in love truly conjugial do not desire to marry again after the death of their married partner, is for these reasons.
(1) Because they are united as to souls, and thence as to minds, and this unition being spiritual is an actual adjunction of the soul and mind of the one to those of the other, which can by no means be dissolved. That such is the nature of spiritual conjunction has been shown here and there before.
(2) That as to the body also they are united, through the reception by the wife of the propagations of the soul of the husband, and thus by the insertion of his life into hers, whereby the virgin becomes a wife; and on the other hand through the reception of the conjugial love of the wife by the husband, which arranges the interiors of his mind, and at the same time the interiors and exteriors of his body, into a state receptive of love and perceptive of wisdom, which state makes him from a young man into a husband; about which see above at n. 198.
(3) That a sphere of love from the wife and a sphere of understanding from the man flows forth continually, and that this perfects the conjunctions; and that this with its pleasant aroma surrounds them, and unites them, may be seen above at n. 223.
(4) That married partners thus united in marriage think and breathe what is eternal, and upon this idea their eternal happiness is founded, may be seen at n. 216.
(5) It is by virtue of all these realities that they are 'no more twain but one man,' that is, 'one flesh.'
(6) That such a one cannot be torn asunder by the death of either is very manifest to the ocular vision of the spirit.
(7) To these reasons may be added this, which is new, that the two are still not separated, after the death of the one, since the spirit of the deceased dwells continually with the spirit of the one not yet deceased, and this even until the death of the other, when they meet again, and reunite themselves, and love each other more tenderly than before, because in a spiritual world. From all this comes the irrefragable consequence, that they who have lived in love truly conjugial do not wish to marry again; and if they contract anything like marriage afterwards, it is done for reasons apart from conjugial love. And these reasons are all external, such as-if there are small children in the house, and the care of them must be provided for; if the house is large and equipped with servants of both sexes; if out-of-door occupations withdraw the mind from family affairs at home; if there are necessities for mutual aid and services; and other like reasons.
321. IV: Quod illi, qui inter se in amore vere conjugiali vixerant, iteratum conjugium non velint, nisi propter causas separatas ab amore conjugiali. Quod illi, qui in amore vere conjugiali vixerant, post mortem sui conjugis, iteratum conjugium non velint, sunt hae causae, 1. Quoniam quoad animas, et inde quoad mentes uniti sunt; et haec unitio, quia spiritualis, est actualis adjunctio unius animae et mentis ad alterius, quae prorsus non potest dissolvi; quod spiritualis conjunctio talis sit, prius passim ostensum est.
[2] 2. Quod etiam uniti sint quoad corpora per receptionem propagationum animae mariti ab uxore, et sic per insertionem ejus vitae in suam, per quam virgo fit uxor; et vicissim per receptionem amoris conjugialis uxoris a marito, quae disponit interiora mentis, et simul interiora et exteriora corporis ejus in statum receptibilem amoris, et perceptibilem sapientiae, qui status illum a juvene facit maritum, de quibus videatur supra,198, 199.
[3] 3. Quod sphaera amoris ab uxore, ac sphaera intellectus a viro, jugiter effluat, et quod illa perficiat conjunctiones, et quod illa cum amaeno suo spiraculo sit circum illos, ac uniat illos, videatur etiam supra223
[4] 4. Quod conjuges ita uniti in conjugio cogitent et spirent aeternum, et quod super hac idea fundetur felicitas aeterna illorum, videatur 216
[5] 5. Ex his et illis est, quod non amplius duo sint, sed unus homo, quod est, una caro.
[6] 6. Quod tale unum non possit discerpi per mortem alterius, coram oculari visu spiritus, manifeste patet.
[7] 7. His adjicietur hoc novum; quod duo illi, per mortem unius, usque non separentur; quoniam defuncti seu defunctae spiritus cohabitat jugi cum spiritu nondum defuncti seu defunctae, et id usque ad mortem alterius, quando iterum conveniunt et reuniunt se, ac tenerius quam prius se amant, quia in Spirituali Mundo. Ex his datur hoc consequens irrefragabile, quod illi, qui in amore vere conjugiali vixerant, iteratum conjugium non velint. Si autem contrahunt aliquod simile conjugii postea, fit propter causas separatas ab amore conjugiali; et hae causae sunt omnes externae; ut si infantes in domo sunt, et illorum curae prospiciendum est: si domus est ampla, instructa famulitiis utriusque sexus: si administrationes 1forinsecae abstrahunt mentem a familiaribus domus: si mutua auxilia et officia sunt necessitates; et similia alia.
Footnotes:
1. Prima editio: admistrationes